I used the Fairy deck this morning and did a 5 card reading.
Magic of nature, make music, follow your dreams, new location, moving forward fearlessly.
It still feels a positive message - and all of them are repeaters that I have picked more than once when I was doing daily single card picks.
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Vigil at the Whispering Witch
This turned out to be a very memorable evening. Except to my intense frustration and annoyance I managed to fall asleep at a crucial time. That really soured the whole evening for me I'm afraid. A combination of anger at myself plus a huge amount of sour grapes because Tony and everyone else was sensing things left right a centre when it finally kicked off left me in a very bad mood.
I feel so patronised when other people keep telling me I just need to practice , I just need to trust my instincts. I KNOW I need to practice - but that inevitably means I am in the company of people who do eveyything I want to do with seemingly no effort at all. I know they are not patronising me - just giving me good advice - but it is very frustrating and leads inevitably to a loss of confidence in my ability to do things - which then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Last night was very unusual. Tony and I started off together in the seance room - but it seemed very flat. Tony did sense something possibly sitting on his lap. A bit later Karl told us they get a dog upstairs and a cat downstairs in the cellar. Then we went down to the cellar with Lisa and Patrick. And Karl joined us a bit later. I got the name David - which turned out to be the name of Lisa's guide that she had just met. I also got the name Michael -who i thought was being mischievous and waiting and watching to see if he could cause trouble later. While Karl was with us he said he could see something round me - a sort of white aura. I wondered if he was seeing what Lisa saw on Tuesday. But it does interest me that he didnt see anything round anyone else.
We took a break then and when resumed Tony and I found ourselves in the seance room again with Kelly and Ashley. I got two names Maurice which I mentioned and Marion which I didn't because I decide I had a fixation with names beginning M having got Michael earlier. Also as I know a Marion I decided it wasn't coming from outside
I was experiencing strange things at this point. I saw the colours I normally see when I am channeling reiki . And I was very tired. I also tried to actively bring Eli forward to ask him to help me get information I could. I have no idea what happened. I have no memory of falling alseep but when I became aware of what was going on again (and I have no memory of waking up) it turned out Tony and Kelly had done a lost soul rescue on a woman called Marion. When Tony was talking to Karl and Shaz later it turns out this story in connection with a woman was the same as one they had got before - but they didn't get a name. The story was a complex one to do with a baby and a suicide. But I know Tony has no knowledge of the story before so it could not have been him imagining he got the details. I could see he was totally blown away by the fact the Karl and Shaz had had the same story before from a different source.
Karl then got interested in Tony and asked if he had ever channelled. Tony said no but I reminded him he had (the Roman solider at Dudley Castle) Karl Shaz, kelly and Ashley then sat round the seance table all holding hands to help Tony channel a spirit. I sat out - mainly out of pique if I am honest. I was so upset at falling asleep and missing the rescue. I was also in full blown 'I am useless at this psychic stuff' mode
Anyway I stayed and listend while Tony did channel a woman called Isabella. Eventually Karl and the otjhers broke the circle and stopped giving Tony energy and he carried on channelling. Obviously we have no way to confirm any of the information he got about the woman and her family. But at one point he was asking where she lived when she DIDN'T live in the bullding where the Witch is. She gave Tony a location of a street a couple of streets away and he got a name that he interpreted as station street. My thought was that Alcester had no station so wouldn't have a station street. However it turns out if does have a station road a couple of streets over in the direction Isbaella indicated. And there is no way Tony could have known that. We didn't drive down or past it on our way to the Witch.
If I saw someone else doing that I would suspect them of making it up. I know Tony wasn't and he can't really remember any of what he said . So he is doing SOMETHING.
The information he got was that she worked there when it was a butcher, she had two sons, her husband died at the Somme. She didn't go down in the cellar when she worked there. She didn't go donw in the cellar now. She was aware of other spirits in the building and knew William was in the cellar. (I know they have identified a William as being a spirit in the cellar - I don't think Tony was aware of that though) The session ended with her agreeing to appear at the regular seance next Thursday and do something for them if they bring her a flower. Time will tell. I would be interested to go to the seance on Thursday to find out.
I meditated this morning - difficult when you are dealing with the feelings I have at the moment but I did manage it. I was trying to dins out if I did just fall asleep or if something more mysterious was going on. I don't know that I got an answer . I was in the room at the castle and I decided to go out of the other door and got blinded by bright sunlight. I was scared to go out there. That is probably a significant insight.
I feel so patronised when other people keep telling me I just need to practice , I just need to trust my instincts. I KNOW I need to practice - but that inevitably means I am in the company of people who do eveyything I want to do with seemingly no effort at all. I know they are not patronising me - just giving me good advice - but it is very frustrating and leads inevitably to a loss of confidence in my ability to do things - which then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Last night was very unusual. Tony and I started off together in the seance room - but it seemed very flat. Tony did sense something possibly sitting on his lap. A bit later Karl told us they get a dog upstairs and a cat downstairs in the cellar. Then we went down to the cellar with Lisa and Patrick. And Karl joined us a bit later. I got the name David - which turned out to be the name of Lisa's guide that she had just met. I also got the name Michael -who i thought was being mischievous and waiting and watching to see if he could cause trouble later. While Karl was with us he said he could see something round me - a sort of white aura. I wondered if he was seeing what Lisa saw on Tuesday. But it does interest me that he didnt see anything round anyone else.
We took a break then and when resumed Tony and I found ourselves in the seance room again with Kelly and Ashley. I got two names Maurice which I mentioned and Marion which I didn't because I decide I had a fixation with names beginning M having got Michael earlier. Also as I know a Marion I decided it wasn't coming from outside
I was experiencing strange things at this point. I saw the colours I normally see when I am channeling reiki . And I was very tired. I also tried to actively bring Eli forward to ask him to help me get information I could. I have no idea what happened. I have no memory of falling alseep but when I became aware of what was going on again (and I have no memory of waking up) it turned out Tony and Kelly had done a lost soul rescue on a woman called Marion. When Tony was talking to Karl and Shaz later it turns out this story in connection with a woman was the same as one they had got before - but they didn't get a name. The story was a complex one to do with a baby and a suicide. But I know Tony has no knowledge of the story before so it could not have been him imagining he got the details. I could see he was totally blown away by the fact the Karl and Shaz had had the same story before from a different source.
Karl then got interested in Tony and asked if he had ever channelled. Tony said no but I reminded him he had (the Roman solider at Dudley Castle) Karl Shaz, kelly and Ashley then sat round the seance table all holding hands to help Tony channel a spirit. I sat out - mainly out of pique if I am honest. I was so upset at falling asleep and missing the rescue. I was also in full blown 'I am useless at this psychic stuff' mode
Anyway I stayed and listend while Tony did channel a woman called Isabella. Eventually Karl and the otjhers broke the circle and stopped giving Tony energy and he carried on channelling. Obviously we have no way to confirm any of the information he got about the woman and her family. But at one point he was asking where she lived when she DIDN'T live in the bullding where the Witch is. She gave Tony a location of a street a couple of streets away and he got a name that he interpreted as station street. My thought was that Alcester had no station so wouldn't have a station street. However it turns out if does have a station road a couple of streets over in the direction Isbaella indicated. And there is no way Tony could have known that. We didn't drive down or past it on our way to the Witch.
If I saw someone else doing that I would suspect them of making it up. I know Tony wasn't and he can't really remember any of what he said . So he is doing SOMETHING.
The information he got was that she worked there when it was a butcher, she had two sons, her husband died at the Somme. She didn't go down in the cellar when she worked there. She didn't go donw in the cellar now. She was aware of other spirits in the building and knew William was in the cellar. (I know they have identified a William as being a spirit in the cellar - I don't think Tony was aware of that though) The session ended with her agreeing to appear at the regular seance next Thursday and do something for them if they bring her a flower. Time will tell. I would be interested to go to the seance on Thursday to find out.
I meditated this morning - difficult when you are dealing with the feelings I have at the moment but I did manage it. I was trying to dins out if I did just fall asleep or if something more mysterious was going on. I don't know that I got an answer . I was in the room at the castle and I decided to go out of the other door and got blinded by bright sunlight. I was scared to go out there. That is probably a significant insight.
Friday, 6 August 2010
Crystals
The logical scientist in me wants to right off a lot of the mystic things I read about crystals as nonsense. The psychic healer side of me wants to believe. The result is I have an open mind. Lat Tuesday I learned a few more things about crystals and was advised to keep my piece of malachite sparate. I have done so since then. This morning I decided I needed to cleanse my crystals - especially as I was given no indication I needed to carry any. So I put all my crystals except the malachitein a large glass bowl . The malachite was put in a lowly plastic container. I did CKR over both containers and then decided to reiki both containers one with each hand. To my amazement I got a very different buzz off the lowly plastic bowl with the malachite in. Almost the feeling I get when I am healing somone and am pulling stuff out which I need to shake off.
Hmmmmm food for thought
Hmmmmm food for thought
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
cards
I decided to use my Fairy deck and ask for a reading for the next couple of weeks. I just shuffled the deck and took the first 5 cards off the top. I got
Follow your dreams
Make music
Making new friends
Miracle healing
Higher consciousness.
HC has come out the last three times I have used the deck. Twice a single pick and now as part of what looks like a VERY optimistic reading.
Higher consciousness is a 'validation that my recent thoughts feelings dreams and aspirations are coming from spirit. '
New friends after last night is very hopeful.
Follow your dreams
Make music
Making new friends
Miracle healing
Higher consciousness.
HC has come out the last three times I have used the deck. Twice a single pick and now as part of what looks like a VERY optimistic reading.
Higher consciousness is a 'validation that my recent thoughts feelings dreams and aspirations are coming from spirit. '
New friends after last night is very hopeful.
another meditation
This morning I decided to do my recitation of the reiki principals and the lords prayer actually IN the meditation. I took myself to the safe glade and I 'heard' 5 of my guides recite one reiki principal each. Then I 'herad' them in unison recite the Lords Prayer. then I saw 'Christ' in the glade and I knelt at his feet as I made my intercessions. I saw light come out of his hands as I named the people I was pryaing for.
It was quite an experience.
I also did some more research on sodalite and discovered it is is supposed to be good for changing fixed ideas and mindsets so new ideas and mindsets can be adopted. Strange that I get a sodalite at a time I relise how my mindset needs altering
It was quite an experience.
I also did some more research on sodalite and discovered it is is supposed to be good for changing fixed ideas and mindsets so new ideas and mindsets can be adopted. Strange that I get a sodalite at a time I relise how my mindset needs altering
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
synchronous meditation
Last night we went to a workshop at a small business in Oldbury called 3 KIndred Spirits. It was a very god evening . We did a meditation, discussed crystals, discussed reiki and generally did all sorts of 'circle' type things. Coming so soon after Tony was told we needed to find or make a circle this is helpful.
During our meditations both Tony and I thought we were given something on a chain to go round our neck. Tony saw a celtic cross. I thought mine was a stone of some sort - but to be honest the only clear ting was the chain. That is the second time that we ave have shared ideas when we have meditated at the same time.
There is a good chance that Lisa - who organised last nights event - will decide to hold a monthly circle to which we will be invited.
Laura is also running a 6 week psychic develpment course/circle starting on October 11th. Although this is a MOnday and means the game will have to be re-arranged/put on hold we are going. Laura 'manages mediums and gets them out there' She is JUST what Tony needs I think.
I learned more about crystals yesterday both at the workshop and in some research I did during the day. I have learned tha bloodstone is my birthstone - and I ended up getting a piece of raw bloodstone. I also understand about my 'rock' crystal . It is a moonstone and signifies among other things new beginnings. I finally realise WHY Thomas gave me a rock when I first saw him. During the meditation last night I felt Thomas was pleased I had finally got the message.
I still have major problems tho. Lisa was trying to teach me to see aura's - and did partially succeed. She sat me in front of a mirror and said she wnated me to see myself as the beautiful person she saw me as. Of course that is NOT how I see myself at all.
I really don't know how to break through this barrier of poor self image and the inevitable lack of faith in myself that follows. If I don't my reiki will get nowhere. I am hoping that if the volunteering at the hospice works out and that I start giving reiki on a regular basis that will help me get over this hurdle.
Its all very well for me to say that I have no-one giving me positive feedback - that is still true and is a real part of the problem - but I shouldn't NEED anyone to give me positive feedback. I should be getting it from my thoughts and actions.
I still see myself as a fat unsuccessful lump. I have seen myself that way for most of my life. re-enforced by critical family, a violent and abusive ex, and an alcoholic ex, I have never really felt I was worth anything. Its strange that at a time when suddenly psychically things seem to be moving to some sort of major step forward, I am being forced to confront the issue that I was trying to resolve when I read CYLI7D - which was the book that got me started on this journey.
Something is going on - and I just hope is as pivotal as I would like it to be. I also hope I can understand and use whatever is going on. I am sure I am being given messages by who or whatever is 'out there' I hope I can receive the message they are trying to give.
During our meditations both Tony and I thought we were given something on a chain to go round our neck. Tony saw a celtic cross. I thought mine was a stone of some sort - but to be honest the only clear ting was the chain. That is the second time that we ave have shared ideas when we have meditated at the same time.
There is a good chance that Lisa - who organised last nights event - will decide to hold a monthly circle to which we will be invited.
Laura is also running a 6 week psychic develpment course/circle starting on October 11th. Although this is a MOnday and means the game will have to be re-arranged/put on hold we are going. Laura 'manages mediums and gets them out there' She is JUST what Tony needs I think.
I learned more about crystals yesterday both at the workshop and in some research I did during the day. I have learned tha bloodstone is my birthstone - and I ended up getting a piece of raw bloodstone. I also understand about my 'rock' crystal . It is a moonstone and signifies among other things new beginnings. I finally realise WHY Thomas gave me a rock when I first saw him. During the meditation last night I felt Thomas was pleased I had finally got the message.
I still have major problems tho. Lisa was trying to teach me to see aura's - and did partially succeed. She sat me in front of a mirror and said she wnated me to see myself as the beautiful person she saw me as. Of course that is NOT how I see myself at all.
I really don't know how to break through this barrier of poor self image and the inevitable lack of faith in myself that follows. If I don't my reiki will get nowhere. I am hoping that if the volunteering at the hospice works out and that I start giving reiki on a regular basis that will help me get over this hurdle.
Its all very well for me to say that I have no-one giving me positive feedback - that is still true and is a real part of the problem - but I shouldn't NEED anyone to give me positive feedback. I should be getting it from my thoughts and actions.
I still see myself as a fat unsuccessful lump. I have seen myself that way for most of my life. re-enforced by critical family, a violent and abusive ex, and an alcoholic ex, I have never really felt I was worth anything. Its strange that at a time when suddenly psychically things seem to be moving to some sort of major step forward, I am being forced to confront the issue that I was trying to resolve when I read CYLI7D - which was the book that got me started on this journey.
Something is going on - and I just hope is as pivotal as I would like it to be. I also hope I can understand and use whatever is going on. I am sure I am being given messages by who or whatever is 'out there' I hope I can receive the message they are trying to give.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
meditation link?
This morning I decided to meditate. I had just had a drink with Tony and left him in bed telling him I was going to meditate.
I debated about my intentions and toyed with the idea of either finding out more about Colin or my ascended master and finally just decided to set my intention as finding some inner peace.It took me some time to settle and I found myself thinking about reiki regulatory issues and then about pharmacy regulatory issues before I finally got grounded and found myself in the the Temple of Dreams. I could hear the clunk as the latch on the door behind me and could feel the coolness and stillness in the air as I walked towards the alter. Colin was there. I got the idea that my drifting thoughts before were relevant that I needed to think about those issues. The stained glass windows showed an egg on the left hand one, Jonas and Jenny in the central window and Ariel in the right hand window. I got the idea that I need to actively call on Ariel to help me.
I left to walk out and saw my ascended master waling towards me. I got the idea he will meet me where I am. I dont ave to go and find him.
I came out of the meditation soon after seeing him.
I went back inot Tony's room to find im just coming out of his OWN meditation. We ended almost at the same time. He had seen a tibetan monk that he had seen a couple of times before. This time he got a name (Master Chen) and he mentioned he thinks this is HIS ascended master. After I walked in he suddenly grabbed his notepad and started writing things - basically a load of runes/heiroglyphs that came through . It was weird seeing him so focussed and neither of us have any idea what the runes mean. But why would he write them if he hadn't 'seen' them?
We also ad an interesting discussion ( 3 way me him and his guides) about circles and joining or starting one. Gill and Darren got suggested. Also he got some frustration about Gill and Darren NOT doing what they should be doing with their gifts. I am not sure we can do anything about that - but we will try.
At one point Tony got a message to tell me to talk direct not through him. He thinks it came from Master Chen. I tried but couldn't
I am fascinated by so many things to do with this. But mainly why our meditations ended at the same time . I had no idea Tony was meditating and he had no idea when mine would end. Why did we both think we saw ascended masters?
What do the runes mean??? Can we find out?
I debated about my intentions and toyed with the idea of either finding out more about Colin or my ascended master and finally just decided to set my intention as finding some inner peace.It took me some time to settle and I found myself thinking about reiki regulatory issues and then about pharmacy regulatory issues before I finally got grounded and found myself in the the Temple of Dreams. I could hear the clunk as the latch on the door behind me and could feel the coolness and stillness in the air as I walked towards the alter. Colin was there. I got the idea that my drifting thoughts before were relevant that I needed to think about those issues. The stained glass windows showed an egg on the left hand one, Jonas and Jenny in the central window and Ariel in the right hand window. I got the idea that I need to actively call on Ariel to help me.
I left to walk out and saw my ascended master waling towards me. I got the idea he will meet me where I am. I dont ave to go and find him.
I came out of the meditation soon after seeing him.
I went back inot Tony's room to find im just coming out of his OWN meditation. We ended almost at the same time. He had seen a tibetan monk that he had seen a couple of times before. This time he got a name (Master Chen) and he mentioned he thinks this is HIS ascended master. After I walked in he suddenly grabbed his notepad and started writing things - basically a load of runes/heiroglyphs that came through . It was weird seeing him so focussed and neither of us have any idea what the runes mean. But why would he write them if he hadn't 'seen' them?
We also ad an interesting discussion ( 3 way me him and his guides) about circles and joining or starting one. Gill and Darren got suggested. Also he got some frustration about Gill and Darren NOT doing what they should be doing with their gifts. I am not sure we can do anything about that - but we will try.
At one point Tony got a message to tell me to talk direct not through him. He thinks it came from Master Chen. I tried but couldn't
I am fascinated by so many things to do with this. But mainly why our meditations ended at the same time . I had no idea Tony was meditating and he had no idea when mine would end. Why did we both think we saw ascended masters?
What do the runes mean??? Can we find out?
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