I haven't made an entry for a couple of days but I have been meditating daily. Although not always formally doing the candle music and incense . Today I did self healing and meditation together. Meditated for 'health and well being' and the clear message I got was 'don't procrastinate' So I have come down and straight away told my milkman and the vegetable delivery people that we are on holiday so I have cancelled the deliveries. I could have left Abel and Cole until tomorrow and MIlk and More until much later but tis done - and now I can relax. Why do I procrastinate? I put things off during the day like meditation and self healing. I put things off like paperwork until later in the week. Thats why I am in such a mess with my HPD portfolio. I kept putting it off and putting it off. This is what the introspection card I got twice on Thursday at circle means. I need to work out why I procrastinate and how I can stop it. It is far aand away my worst fault - and it is what is holding me back. . My mantra needs to be 'just do it'

Interesting times

The last couple of days have been really interesting. Out of the blue I had a phone call from someone in Netherton who has booked a home visit for hypnotherapy. The yesterday evening Rhonda - a lady Tony did a reading for months back - suddenly knocked on our door and we ended up lending her a CD to help her meditate. Then today I have had a phone call from a lady in Nechells in who wants s home visit for reiki. And all this has happened since I had that meditation where I saw myself easily getting over the wall. I have just meditated today. My focus was peace and calm - but as I was meditating I found myself remembering David Wells advice to meditate on a card. I remembered yesterdays card pick for our page which was 'Tree - grounding' The interpretation I put on that was that if someone was involved in a project to keep their feet on the ground - but I also went on to say that the other message was that good foundations had been built and that would be reflected in the future development. At the time I did feel it was apt for us - but the meditation seems to have confirmed that. Hopefully things are about to develop as we want them too.

I did miss one days mediation. Yesterday I tried to meditate before I went to bed - after a day when a LOT of things went wrong. I DID try - but it wasn't going to work. However this morning I let a candle, burnt incense and played music. My meditation was surprising. I found myself on a beach sitting in the sun - then shaded by a beach umbrella the suddenly appeared courtesy of Thomas (I think) I looked at the white sand and blue sea and though 'Sodalite' So I wore sodalite today - and I had a great day

Recurrent theme

Fr some reason I have the song 'When we live in a world of our own' running through my mind. I have NO idea why. But as I finished 'How to be a bad christian' (the book I was given yesterday I realised the sentiment was quite apt in some ways for the apr of the book I was reading. He was talking about the butterfly effect and how small random actions can have unexpected effects. I realised that is creating 'a world of my own' with such acts - like my volunteer work at the hospice, and even like my work for the TV station. I have a small window of time to help the people I interact with - that can create a different world for them AND me. I haven't done the 'om' bit today - but I feel my reading of the book has been a meditation. But I will do the 'om' thing in a bit. And I am still a biscuit free zone!!!

An interesting meditation

My meditation this morning was VERY interesting. Thomas came clearly to mind. I saw his rock gift as an affirmation that I am right to be doing the crystal course. I then got an odd image of me jumping a wall - a high wall the sort of things you see in army assault courses and I got the feeling I make too much of what I perceive as obstacles. I also got the words. You go too slowly. This really does build on the confidence meditation yesterday - and in a way is born out by various things that have happened over the past day. This includes a reading request from someone in Tanzania. And she hasn't baulked at the idea of paying. I had an amazing conversation today while I was waiting for car tyres to be fitted. I was sitting next to a lady who turned out to be ordained - and she gave me a book called 'How to be a bad christian' It whiled away the LONG time I spent waiting for my car to be finished - and I agree with a lot of what is in the book so far. It is getting me to think about what I believe - and that is always good, Plus I read some of the crystal course information - and I found I could agree with a lot of what they said and it fits in with my hypnotherapy and reiki very well. I feel excited :-)

Day one of my lent challenge

Well day one went OK. I mediated for peace an calm in the morning. Then we did the Fairy path working at circle - and Mab gave me a tarot card. I couldn't see which one tho. But I then got the idea of running a workshop to teach people how to use their cards. So I have created an event this morning. lets see what sort of response it gets. This morning I meditated with ;confidence' as my focus. I got the feeling Thomas was there reminding he is my rock and I can have confidence in him. Amazingly I have just had a call from 88g that I know I got spot on - and last night with the psychiatry I also picked up something that was spot on. So I am feeling quietly confident. Getting that call so soon after the mediation was ..............almost a wow moment.

Tuesday was pancake day and I suddenly realised that means it is Lent. And I have decided to use that as a fcus to help myself. Traditionally people challenge themselves during lent. So I am challenging myself to meditate for at least 5 minutes EVERY day - and NOT to eat ANY biscuits for the rest of lent. Watch this space

When is a spell not a spell

When it is a prayer, a ritual or a visualisation. My journey of comparative theology continues fuelled by my continues reading of the book about grimoires, and last nights discussion at circle. We were talking about protection and Angie read out a Wicca 'spell' for protection which is really just a visualisation although it can include a component in the form of a clear quartz crystal. Is the 'ritual' I do when preparing for a session on 886 that uses reiki symbols a 'spell' or a 'prayer' Christian prayers include a symbol in the sign of the cross. I went to see Jane on Wednesday and it turns out she would love to be a holistic therapist too if she could afford the training. But she rejected the idea of reiki out of hand even though I offered to attune her for free. She wants to advice people of supplements, flower remedies that sort of thing. But I do feel it means something that with our vastly different spiritual approaches she in essesne wants to be doing the same as I do.

Well I had a sudden rush of blood to the head this morning. I got up, put laundry away, went downstairs fed the cats made a drink, then emptied the dishwasher and the washing machine. Somewhere along the way I fed the cats too. Then I went back upstairs put the damp laundry on the airer........then I went and prayed/meditated/ and DID SOME SELF HEALING!!!! I had some interesting musings about the Imbolc ritual while I was self healing. Not sure where I am going with it yet - but I am sure it will come I feel good to have done it all this morning

I went to the Sapling Bards Imbolc ritual yesterday with Angie from circle. It was an interesting experience and clearly a lot of Christina ritual has been based on Druid/Wicca/Pagan ritual.The circle was consecrated with water and fire- something I would not see in a church- but then the whole circle shared mead bread and foo - something I would see. The who circle was blessed with blessed water - something that happens to every child at its christening. So what does this mean for what I believe? Well really nothing. I already knew the early church had adapted pagan rituals and festivals to attract them into the churches. And frankly after yesterday I can see the advantage of celebrating in a building in a cold weather. Fire and water food and drink were the absolute necessities of life in the dark ages. So it isn't surprising that their are rituals including them in the bible.So it would have been natural to include them in the Passover celebrations that embrace the crucifixion story. I have to believe in the power of the Lords Prayer - I saw that for myself one ghost hunt when it really annoyed something nasty trying to come through the portal at the Whispering Witch.And it wasn't psychological because I wasn't expecting have any effect. I certainly wasn't reciting it out of fear................ So am I still a Christian? Well yes in that believe in the existence of Jesus son of Joseph and Mary. Do I think the council of Nicea that set up so much of what now constitutes orthodox christianity was inspired by God? No I believe it was more inspired by politics - with the best of intentions. I know the bible was 'censored' to exclude writings that didn't agree with the the Christians wanted to say. I believe in one supreme power - but I can accept that all the deities from other traditions are aspects of that supreme power. In fact is the concept of one supreme God and his angels simply a recognition of the fact that God has to have different aspects? I don't know - and I don't think anyone can know. But I do know there is a basic 'goodness' that can help determine what is right and what is wrong. Do I believe in the basic laws of the Ten Commandments tho? Well yes. They codify what is right and just - and do include 'Thought shelf have no other gods' If I believe in a supreme power what do I make of yesterdays ritual that mention Bridget a lot? Carol dedicated her sip at the mead horn to Bridget, Dave to Loki. I wonder why he chose Loki. But Bridget's festival is Imbolc and interestingly she is a healer and a reader. Now how spooky is it that my first ritual is dedicated to the pagan goddess I would probably take as my own. ButI know this is not because I am being called to Drudism. I know I am being prompted to decdie what I truly believe in. How fascinating...........

Wow last nights circle was eventful for all the wrong reasons. Freda's chair collapsed under her at a time when a couple of people sensed some nasty energy in the room. Amber was getting some disturbing images and messages from her guide....and we realised we have become complacent. I haven't done my normal pre-circle ritual with reiki in the room, and we have neglected to do the normal grounding and protection we used to do at the start of the circle. Is it a coincidence that this has happened at a time when I am worried about needing to get back to basics in my own spirituals journey? Maybe or maybe not. I don't know. But I am not taking the whole package very seriously. Whether its psychic or psychological something needs to be done. I have been spending too much time focussed on pharmacy. Well next month I have NO pharmacy work and I WILL deal with all this