I tried to create a guided meditation to helpme with this - and didnt succeed until after I had done the session. I'm not that good with technology sadly.
However I have done a self healing session. Nothing spectacular - but it felt better than my previous attempts. I light a candle and have incense burning. And this time I remembered to take off my jewelery - which I forgot before . I try to switch on my reiki by lighting a candle in my mind.
I felt the normal tingling in my hands and feet - and this time I was aware of tingling in the palms of my hands as well in the fingers. I am guessing that is a good sign.
I didnt feel or see anything special - but I did dimly see an eye - but nowhere as clear as it was during the attunement. And no colours either .
I can't really say I am aware of reiki flow. I cant really say I am aware of any huge improvemnt in my IBS but my back does feel better.
I am not really into a routine with self healing yet. I am still a little tense about keeping vanishing while Tony is up and around. I will probably relax and do better with my meditation when I am doing it in what I think of as 'my' time. I must add I have no reason to think Tony minds at all! I am just a real worry guts!
Monday, 31 August 2009
New thinking/
It says in the manual that after attunemnet some people find themselves thinking ina new way or with a new belief system.
This journal is to record my progress as I practice reiki so it seems appropraite to record here an insight I have gained today.
I went to see Edna today and came away feeling emotional - angry and upset. But I decided to try and listen to the voices and learn what they are trying to tell me.
I have come to the conclusion that I am going to learn something from this situation - something that I will able to use in some way in the future. Something that will redeem what seems to be a pointless tragedy
The secondary insight is that maybe if I think hard enough, I will find out I learned something from Alan's tragedy that can be useful.
Food for much thought and meditation
This journal is to record my progress as I practice reiki so it seems appropraite to record here an insight I have gained today.
I went to see Edna today and came away feeling emotional - angry and upset. But I decided to try and listen to the voices and learn what they are trying to tell me.
I have come to the conclusion that I am going to learn something from this situation - something that I will able to use in some way in the future. Something that will redeem what seems to be a pointless tragedy
The secondary insight is that maybe if I think hard enough, I will find out I learned something from Alan's tragedy that can be useful.
Food for much thought and meditation
Reiki as part of my life
I keep 3 blogs. My first blog (changing life and times) is all about how I coped with the challenging events of last year. Life is still challenging so it is still going. Its main focus is my health and my struggle to lose weight. The second is about how things go with Edna. I started that so my first blog didnt become overwhelmed with Edna. My third blog (this one) was started because I wanted somewhere to record any psychic stuff. At times the three blogs cross over. Today is one of those days . I feel it worth posting the beggining of todays entry for 'changing life and times' here.
"I got frustrated and annoyed with myself yesterday when my reiki meditation didnt go well. With some help I worked out that a bit of me was angry that I was giving myself something else to do. Do I really have time to learn about reiki when I have to work, do things for Edna , want to spend quality time with those I love....................
The answer is reiki is all about good health and balance. It is SO much more than just the mystical laying on of hands to treat an illness. It is also all about the health of the practitioner. In a way I have been trying to carry out the 5 principals of Reiki for 3 years without realising it.
This blog has been about my health - both physical and mental - during challenging times. Times are still challenging. I have to go and see Edna today and already I can feel my stomach tying itself up in knots as I wonder what I will find when I get there.
I need to be healthy to cope with everything.'
It was a revelation how much of what I already did and thought fitted into reiki. Whether I ever practice as a reiki therapist is irrelevant. I need reiki in my life to stay healthy and cope with my responsibilities.
Its still quite early and I havent meditated yet. I will make an entry about that later
"I got frustrated and annoyed with myself yesterday when my reiki meditation didnt go well. With some help I worked out that a bit of me was angry that I was giving myself something else to do. Do I really have time to learn about reiki when I have to work, do things for Edna , want to spend quality time with those I love....................
The answer is reiki is all about good health and balance. It is SO much more than just the mystical laying on of hands to treat an illness. It is also all about the health of the practitioner. In a way I have been trying to carry out the 5 principals of Reiki for 3 years without realising it.
This blog has been about my health - both physical and mental - during challenging times. Times are still challenging. I have to go and see Edna today and already I can feel my stomach tying itself up in knots as I wonder what I will find when I get there.
I need to be healthy to cope with everything.'
It was a revelation how much of what I already did and thought fitted into reiki. Whether I ever practice as a reiki therapist is irrelevant. I need reiki in my life to stay healthy and cope with my responsibilities.
Its still quite early and I havent meditated yet. I will make an entry about that later
Sunday, 30 August 2009
Improvment
I meditated and tried self healing for about 5 minutes before I came to bed tonight, I feel it went much better. I 'saw' more colours during my meditation this time and it felt as if it went better.
I will re-read the manual again and make sure I have it al straight in my mind what I should be doing. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better.
I will re-read the manual again and make sure I have it al straight in my mind what I should be doing. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better.
First attempt at self healing
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised or downhearted to report that my first attempt at self healing was quite unspectacular. Nothing really happened. I certainly didn't see or feel anything abnormal apart from the normal tingling in my hands and feet.
If you could do it brilliantly at the first attempt, you wouldn't need to keep practising
I do feel quite emotional which could be the result of the meditation - or just my disappointment at what feels like a lack of success.
It is so tough to meditate without guidance. I have tried to find a way to make my own track - but can't and that annoys me as well.
But 'For today do not be angry' Getting annoyed wont help me.
I forgot to take off my jewelery. I forgot to visualize a switch to turn the reiki on. I will have another go this evening and see if the meditation goes any better
If you could do it brilliantly at the first attempt, you wouldn't need to keep practising
I do feel quite emotional which could be the result of the meditation - or just my disappointment at what feels like a lack of success.
It is so tough to meditate without guidance. I have tried to find a way to make my own track - but can't and that annoys me as well.
But 'For today do not be angry' Getting annoyed wont help me.
I forgot to take off my jewelery. I forgot to visualize a switch to turn the reiki on. I will have another go this evening and see if the meditation goes any better
Premonition?
I've just remembered something that happened yesterday. Shortly after Sue said she had been told when Edna might die, we discussed whether I would REALLY want to know. I said it would depend on the time involved ' .........but if it was only 2 months I would at least know I could cope with that'
I picked 2 months out thin air - I thought. But its a funny time period to chose so I am recording it as a possible premonition and hoping I am wrong.
I picked 2 months out thin air - I thought. But its a funny time period to chose so I am recording it as a possible premonition and hoping I am wrong.
The reiki way of life
I have read through the manual again - not worrying too much about the history of how we got to where we are (or where I am?) with Reiki. So different practitioners have adapted and expanded on their practice. Big deal Conventional medicine does that all the time and no-one would try to throw doubt on conventional medicine as a result. But I can easily see conventional practitioners using that as a means to cast doubt on reiki.
One of my pharmacy colleages made what I thought was a scpetical comment about reiki to my FB status where I mentioned going for reiki training. I replied diplomatically and his rseponse was a great surprise. ' Cochrane says it works - I was encouraging you' Cochrane is the bible of evidenced based medicine that all conventional practitioners rely on. He also posted the link to review shat showed a positive effect of reiki and other hands on techniques in arthritic pain. And the moral to that tale is I must NOT assume all my colleagues have closed minds. It was also good to see some scientific backing for reiki. I must ackowledge the needs of my rational sceptical scientific mind.
I think what spoke most clearly to me from the manual was the expanded section on the 5 principals of reiki. So much of what I read there I could relate to my McKenna training. It all fits and thats why it all feels so right.
I havent meditated or done any self healing today yet. I did try last night but I got twitchy again and I decided (rightly ot wrongly) that trying self healing last night after such an intensive day wasn't the right thing to do.
However what I have done is prepare a space where I can meditate properly maybe with incense or an oil burner to add ambience. The oil burner is dual purpose as I presume the tea light flame would. as act as a candle. The tidying up was HIGHLY therapeutic ( life laundry??) as well as being good exercise.
I intend to meditate properly later today.
I didnt sleep well last night mainly because I spent te night chasing TC (our cat) round the bed because he seemed totally unable to leave me alone and insited on sitting on me however many times I pushed him off. As a result I woke with pains in my back. Not my normal back pain - this was deep in my muscles. I did wonder if it could be healing reaction - but its more likely it was just thanks to an obstinate cat. He was far more obstinate than he has been. Whether that is the sort of change Sue suggested I might see in the cats behavior round me I don't know. Felix (our other cat) is as standoffish with me as he always been as far as I can see.
I will make an entry about my meditation and self healing session later.
One of my pharmacy colleages made what I thought was a scpetical comment about reiki to my FB status where I mentioned going for reiki training. I replied diplomatically and his rseponse was a great surprise. ' Cochrane says it works - I was encouraging you' Cochrane is the bible of evidenced based medicine that all conventional practitioners rely on. He also posted the link to review shat showed a positive effect of reiki and other hands on techniques in arthritic pain. And the moral to that tale is I must NOT assume all my colleagues have closed minds. It was also good to see some scientific backing for reiki. I must ackowledge the needs of my rational sceptical scientific mind.
I think what spoke most clearly to me from the manual was the expanded section on the 5 principals of reiki. So much of what I read there I could relate to my McKenna training. It all fits and thats why it all feels so right.
I havent meditated or done any self healing today yet. I did try last night but I got twitchy again and I decided (rightly ot wrongly) that trying self healing last night after such an intensive day wasn't the right thing to do.
However what I have done is prepare a space where I can meditate properly maybe with incense or an oil burner to add ambience. The oil burner is dual purpose as I presume the tea light flame would. as act as a candle. The tidying up was HIGHLY therapeutic ( life laundry??) as well as being good exercise.
I intend to meditate properly later today.
I didnt sleep well last night mainly because I spent te night chasing TC (our cat) round the bed because he seemed totally unable to leave me alone and insited on sitting on me however many times I pushed him off. As a result I woke with pains in my back. Not my normal back pain - this was deep in my muscles. I did wonder if it could be healing reaction - but its more likely it was just thanks to an obstinate cat. He was far more obstinate than he has been. Whether that is the sort of change Sue suggested I might see in the cats behavior round me I don't know. Felix (our other cat) is as standoffish with me as he always been as far as I can see.
I will make an entry about my meditation and self healing session later.
Saturday, 29 August 2009
Reiki Training
Oh my god what can I say. I hardly know where to start. This really has been another 'eureka' moment like seeing the ghost in York and the dowsing crystal in Stourbridge. I went expecting (fearing?) nothing would happen . This was exactly how I was when I went to both York and Stourbridge. And yet again I have been proved SPECTACULARLY wrong.
It was only in retrospect as I thought through the events of the day that I realised quite how spectacular it was. I didnt expect to see colours when I meditated. I didnt KNOW people often saw colours. But I know what I saw - and I know I wasn't consciously manipulating what I 'saw' .
The behaviour of the dowsing crystal when we were talking to 'John' was also amazing. It wasn't so mch what I learned - but the strength of the response compared to when we 'dowsed' Edna.
And that brief glimpse of that female figure as I started the self healing meditation was utterly unexpected. Having failed all day to sense spirit or see anything other than the abstract when I was meditating, why did I suddenly see that outline? And try as I might I was unable to recreate it . So I am as certain as I could be I didnt 'create' it consciously the first time.
So having said how amazing it was I had better rceord more factually what happened before I forget.
Ther session started with a grounding meditation. I found this quite easy thanks to all the practice I have had.
Then we started working through the manual Sue had prepared for me. Although the history of Reiki and the different types of reiki probably are not going to be that relevant to the use I make of it, the discussion it generated gave me helpful insights into a number of things - including my feelings bout Alan, sibling rivalry, and why I want to learn reiki anyway. I could relate concepts and ideas in the manual to stuff I had done using Paul Mckenna's books, philosophical ideas discussed with Masoud when I was learning about the B'ahai, my pharmacy knowledge and training....................so much made sense. And it made it feel right to be where I was doing what I was doing. It was an affirmation that I am doing the right thing. Not confirmation - affirmation.
During this w eended up discussing Edna - no surprise- and Sue got some information from her spirit guide that Edna is getting ready to cross over. She even got told when it might happen - but didn't tell me. At Sue's suggestion I 'dowsed' her Chakra's to find out if they were open or closed and whether they were clean or blocked. I did it with my dowsing crystal and my eyes closed so I culd picture Edna. That meant I couldn't see what the crystal was doing. Sue also asked me to say what I thought of each chakra based on instinct. I wasn't too brilliant at that. Basically this dowsing gave us the information that her chakra's are closed apart from her crown and base chakra's. And they are not really open. The dowsing confirmed what I already knew or guessed -w hich is that Edna is more or less willing herself to die. This isn't really news - but it says a lot that this hasn't been contradicted by anything we found out today.
The sceptic in me says I am reading what I want to see into the information I was given. But it feels like more than that.
The next thing on the agenda was for Sue to attune me. She split it into two parts - for which I was very thankful. I would not fancy doing the whole thing in one.
The first attunment alomost reduced me to giggles when Sue blew on me - but that very quickly subsided and I strated to feel VERY emotional. I was seeing lost of purple , then purple with bright blue specks, then I saw waves f colour - and finally colour moving and changing that I suddenly realised look an eye slowly blinking.
I hadn't expected to see anything particular during the meditation - and I was shocked when Sue described what i had seen -a nd when I read that people often see colours.
Physically I felt quite intense tingling in my hands a feet - much more intense than I normally get. I am kind of used to the fact that this is my signal that meditation is going well and/or that spirit is with me.
The second half of the attunement was even more intense than the first but less emotional. The phsical symptoms were greater and the colours less intense but it was still a very draining process. Sue's question as I cam out of the meditation was 'Do you feel as if yu have gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson' the answer was 'yes'
Just at the end of the meditation when Sue was asking me to try and see my reiki guide or get a name for them the name 'John' popped into my mind.
We tried to find out who this was using the dowsing crystal. The responses I got were MUCH stronger than when I was dowsing Edna's chakra's. He isn't my reiki guidem he isn't to help me - bt he is something to do with Tony (whose full name is Anthony John) I asked about that when I rememebred the only 'John' I knew was him. This could be a signal that Tony is going to be helping me in some way - maybe with his mediumship if he chooses to develop it. I so hope he does.
We ended the session with my first self healing session. This is when I saw the outline figure of a woman. Apart from that it was mainly abstract colours again although this time I was aware of little holes of blackness - almst black holes sucking colour away.
Physically this was very intrense. At times I felt muscle twitches and I jumped several times. I only spent about 7 minutes meditating - but physically that was more than enough.
The next step is to do self healing for the next 21 days. I am looking forward to it and will record what happens in this blog.
It is only 9.15 - but I feel ready for bed. I didnt expect the day to be so tiring.
It was only in retrospect as I thought through the events of the day that I realised quite how spectacular it was. I didnt expect to see colours when I meditated. I didnt KNOW people often saw colours. But I know what I saw - and I know I wasn't consciously manipulating what I 'saw' .
The behaviour of the dowsing crystal when we were talking to 'John' was also amazing. It wasn't so mch what I learned - but the strength of the response compared to when we 'dowsed' Edna.
And that brief glimpse of that female figure as I started the self healing meditation was utterly unexpected. Having failed all day to sense spirit or see anything other than the abstract when I was meditating, why did I suddenly see that outline? And try as I might I was unable to recreate it . So I am as certain as I could be I didnt 'create' it consciously the first time.
So having said how amazing it was I had better rceord more factually what happened before I forget.
Ther session started with a grounding meditation. I found this quite easy thanks to all the practice I have had.
Then we started working through the manual Sue had prepared for me. Although the history of Reiki and the different types of reiki probably are not going to be that relevant to the use I make of it, the discussion it generated gave me helpful insights into a number of things - including my feelings bout Alan, sibling rivalry, and why I want to learn reiki anyway. I could relate concepts and ideas in the manual to stuff I had done using Paul Mckenna's books, philosophical ideas discussed with Masoud when I was learning about the B'ahai, my pharmacy knowledge and training....................so much made sense. And it made it feel right to be where I was doing what I was doing. It was an affirmation that I am doing the right thing. Not confirmation - affirmation.
During this w eended up discussing Edna - no surprise- and Sue got some information from her spirit guide that Edna is getting ready to cross over. She even got told when it might happen - but didn't tell me. At Sue's suggestion I 'dowsed' her Chakra's to find out if they were open or closed and whether they were clean or blocked. I did it with my dowsing crystal and my eyes closed so I culd picture Edna. That meant I couldn't see what the crystal was doing. Sue also asked me to say what I thought of each chakra based on instinct. I wasn't too brilliant at that. Basically this dowsing gave us the information that her chakra's are closed apart from her crown and base chakra's. And they are not really open. The dowsing confirmed what I already knew or guessed -w hich is that Edna is more or less willing herself to die. This isn't really news - but it says a lot that this hasn't been contradicted by anything we found out today.
The sceptic in me says I am reading what I want to see into the information I was given. But it feels like more than that.
The next thing on the agenda was for Sue to attune me. She split it into two parts - for which I was very thankful. I would not fancy doing the whole thing in one.
The first attunment alomost reduced me to giggles when Sue blew on me - but that very quickly subsided and I strated to feel VERY emotional. I was seeing lost of purple , then purple with bright blue specks, then I saw waves f colour - and finally colour moving and changing that I suddenly realised look an eye slowly blinking.
I hadn't expected to see anything particular during the meditation - and I was shocked when Sue described what i had seen -a nd when I read that people often see colours.
Physically I felt quite intense tingling in my hands a feet - much more intense than I normally get. I am kind of used to the fact that this is my signal that meditation is going well and/or that spirit is with me.
The second half of the attunement was even more intense than the first but less emotional. The phsical symptoms were greater and the colours less intense but it was still a very draining process. Sue's question as I cam out of the meditation was 'Do you feel as if yu have gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson' the answer was 'yes'
Just at the end of the meditation when Sue was asking me to try and see my reiki guide or get a name for them the name 'John' popped into my mind.
We tried to find out who this was using the dowsing crystal. The responses I got were MUCH stronger than when I was dowsing Edna's chakra's. He isn't my reiki guidem he isn't to help me - bt he is something to do with Tony (whose full name is Anthony John) I asked about that when I rememebred the only 'John' I knew was him. This could be a signal that Tony is going to be helping me in some way - maybe with his mediumship if he chooses to develop it. I so hope he does.
We ended the session with my first self healing session. This is when I saw the outline figure of a woman. Apart from that it was mainly abstract colours again although this time I was aware of little holes of blackness - almst black holes sucking colour away.
Physically this was very intrense. At times I felt muscle twitches and I jumped several times. I only spent about 7 minutes meditating - but physically that was more than enough.
The next step is to do self healing for the next 21 days. I am looking forward to it and will record what happens in this blog.
It is only 9.15 - but I feel ready for bed. I didnt expect the day to be so tiring.
Sunday, 23 August 2009
Pendle Hill ghost hunt
Los of interesting phenomena. Tony finally got to do glass divination and dowsing and all the things I have done on previosu ghost hunts . He also showed definite signs of being sensitive or even a medium!
Monday, 17 August 2009
Asking questions
Thats all you can do with a dowsing pendant really. It can say yes no or maybe. Reducing every problem to a yes no question is challenging - but it does focus your thoughts.
Edna is of course my main worry. The hospital say she seems to be coping fine with the nebuliser - but I am still extremely anxious and I know this upsets Edna. If it is going to work her confidence has got to be a maximum. I need to know how I can best help her
I made my first serious effort to meditate and tune in last night to try to get some answers/help/advice/inspiration. It wasn't a stunning success. because it was so difficult to frame questions when I was using the pendant. The strongest positive respsonse I got was when I asked if I needed to meditate again about the problem. Thats all very well but I am not very good at meditating yet.
Watch this space.
Edna is of course my main worry. The hospital say she seems to be coping fine with the nebuliser - but I am still extremely anxious and I know this upsets Edna. If it is going to work her confidence has got to be a maximum. I need to know how I can best help her
I made my first serious effort to meditate and tune in last night to try to get some answers/help/advice/inspiration. It wasn't a stunning success. because it was so difficult to frame questions when I was using the pendant. The strongest positive respsonse I got was when I asked if I needed to meditate again about the problem. Thats all very well but I am not very good at meditating yet.
Watch this space.
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Dowsing to answer questions
I had to cope with an unpleasant situation today - and I wasn't sure what to do. As I didnt need to make an immediate decision I decided to use the dowsing pendant to help me. So I meditated ,grounded myself, asked spirit to help me and then in my mind composed a letter to send to the person who had upset me.
I then held the pendant and asked if the letter was the right approach - and got a yes. I asked if I had done anything wrong (the other person implied I had) and got a no.
I then asked if Tony would have any paranormal experiences on the ghost hunt - and got neutral. That control question seemed to prove that I wasn't influencing the pendant consciously.
I now have a situation with Edna that has upset me . And I am not sure what to do. I may well meditate about that and try to frmulate some yes /no questions and see if the pendant can help with that.
One of the side effects of a drug Edna has just been put on is a very dry mouth, When I was with her I was aware of having a very dry outh too,. I wondered if I was psychically pickingup on her feelings? It didnt go when I left the hopsital - but did improve. I think that gets filed under 'interesting' - but I am a long way fronm saying it was paranormal
I then held the pendant and asked if the letter was the right approach - and got a yes. I asked if I had done anything wrong (the other person implied I had) and got a no.
I then asked if Tony would have any paranormal experiences on the ghost hunt - and got neutral. That control question seemed to prove that I wasn't influencing the pendant consciously.
I now have a situation with Edna that has upset me . And I am not sure what to do. I may well meditate about that and try to frmulate some yes /no questions and see if the pendant can help with that.
One of the side effects of a drug Edna has just been put on is a very dry mouth, When I was with her I was aware of having a very dry outh too,. I wondered if I was psychically pickingup on her feelings? It didnt go when I left the hopsital - but did improve. I think that gets filed under 'interesting' - but I am a long way fronm saying it was paranormal
Saturday, 15 August 2009
Reiki Training
Sue rnag me yesterday to arrange dates for my training - but my phone was off so she left a voicemail message. I emailed her to let her know I would ring her today - and if I got no answer would try again Monday.
I was just sitting down to tea and toast and planning to ring Sue, when Tony woke up ad asked if he could have a cup of tea. So I made him one, and before I went upstairs to chat to him, I picked up my phone with the thought. 'I'd better take this in case somebody rings. I got upsatirs and the phoe rang.
It was Sue.
I was just sitting down to tea and toast and planning to ring Sue, when Tony woke up ad asked if he could have a cup of tea. So I made him one, and before I went upstairs to chat to him, I picked up my phone with the thought. 'I'd better take this in case somebody rings. I got upsatirs and the phoe rang.
It was Sue.
Thursday, 13 August 2009
Psychic Detectives
I joined this social netwroking gorup some days ago at the invitation of Carolyn. The main reason for the site is as the name implies for psychics to try to solve cases like Madeline McCann's disappearance. But it also has other groups on it for those like me who want to develop their abilities.
A specific forum for development ahs opened and one of the psotings acualy suggests keeping a journal like this. it aso suggests thinking very hard about why you want to develop a psychic ability , and what you would do with it.
Well I dont want to become a medium thats for sure. I dont see hear or sense spirit thank you very much. I dont ever expect to - but I have decided I need to keep an open mind. I will develop the abilities I need to do whatever it is the universe wants me to do. I am convinced I am being called along this path - I just can't see the end yet.
Maybe blogging and asking a few questions will help me see a litlle further.
This all started with CYLI7D. That was when I regained my spiritual side. One of the things I realsied I really enjoyed doing ("What would yu pay to do?') is helping people and counselling them. I do derive great satisfaction from that And I really would have loved to be a prrscriber and 'cure' people. So what skills do I need to do that.
Listening and understanding, wisdom and healing.
Empathy? telepathy? a certain amount of prediction? Divination?
I told Jeanagh I was thinking of taking reiki training and her immediate repsonse was very positive that I NEEDED it to enhance what I am already doing. She felt it fitted perfectly .
I would feel so humbled if I became a healer of any sort. But what would I do with the skill? Would I set myself up as reiki healer? I'd like to do something that combined both my conventional and unconventianl knowledge and skills. There must be a way to combine them.
I must arrange some training with Sue. I have got to see if I can do it.
In the meantime all I can do is use a dowsing crystal - which o the face of it seems useless. But it is an indication that I can tap into the universal power- therefore if I practoce tapping in, I will probably learn to do other things with it.
Maybe I can use the cystal to help me answer some of these questions?
A specific forum for development ahs opened and one of the psotings acualy suggests keeping a journal like this. it aso suggests thinking very hard about why you want to develop a psychic ability , and what you would do with it.
Well I dont want to become a medium thats for sure. I dont see hear or sense spirit thank you very much. I dont ever expect to - but I have decided I need to keep an open mind. I will develop the abilities I need to do whatever it is the universe wants me to do. I am convinced I am being called along this path - I just can't see the end yet.
Maybe blogging and asking a few questions will help me see a litlle further.
This all started with CYLI7D. That was when I regained my spiritual side. One of the things I realsied I really enjoyed doing ("What would yu pay to do?') is helping people and counselling them. I do derive great satisfaction from that And I really would have loved to be a prrscriber and 'cure' people. So what skills do I need to do that.
Listening and understanding, wisdom and healing.
Empathy? telepathy? a certain amount of prediction? Divination?
I told Jeanagh I was thinking of taking reiki training and her immediate repsonse was very positive that I NEEDED it to enhance what I am already doing. She felt it fitted perfectly .
I would feel so humbled if I became a healer of any sort. But what would I do with the skill? Would I set myself up as reiki healer? I'd like to do something that combined both my conventional and unconventianl knowledge and skills. There must be a way to combine them.
I must arrange some training with Sue. I have got to see if I can do it.
In the meantime all I can do is use a dowsing crystal - which o the face of it seems useless. But it is an indication that I can tap into the universal power- therefore if I practoce tapping in, I will probably learn to do other things with it.
Maybe I can use the cystal to help me answer some of these questions?
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Faith
I think the one lesson I have learned in the 3 years since this journey started is to have faith that things happen the way they are meant to. And if something feels right it probably is. So as well as needing to have faith in God, I need to have faith in my instincts.
I worried a little aboutt taking retirement - but it has worked out OK.
I asked Sue about Reiki training yesterday. She has answered and I have decided to have some training although I am unsure if I would ever be in a positon to use the training, and if I am honest I am unsure if I really beleive in reiki. Like a lot of complementary therapies there is no clear evidence it works.
Today this is waht comes into my inbox from Sparkpeople
Trying new things can give you a real zest for life. Pushing beyond your comfort zone in a responsible way helps you grow confidence and creativity that you can apply to your everyday life. Do not let fear control what you do (or don't) do? While taking risks can be scary, doing nothing is a big mistake, as it produces nothing fruitful within you. There is a direct relationship between the things that we achieve and the effort we put forth to obtain them. To reach the fruit, you have to climb the tree first!
QED
I worried a little aboutt taking retirement - but it has worked out OK.
I asked Sue about Reiki training yesterday. She has answered and I have decided to have some training although I am unsure if I would ever be in a positon to use the training, and if I am honest I am unsure if I really beleive in reiki. Like a lot of complementary therapies there is no clear evidence it works.
Today this is waht comes into my inbox from Sparkpeople
Trying new things can give you a real zest for life. Pushing beyond your comfort zone in a responsible way helps you grow confidence and creativity that you can apply to your everyday life. Do not let fear control what you do (or don't) do? While taking risks can be scary, doing nothing is a big mistake, as it produces nothing fruitful within you. There is a direct relationship between the things that we achieve and the effort we put forth to obtain them. To reach the fruit, you have to climb the tree first!
QED
Grounding
I sta in the car before I went into work and did the grounding meditation. Then at lunchtime I read the notes Beth gave me and realised she suggested doing it every day. So my insticnts were right. And I feel it help
I also feel I need to gorund myself before every visit to Edna. Ia m sure that can't be harmful.
I found my Amethyst pendant this morning so I am wearing it
Do I really beleive I need to wash it and my earrings in cold water to recharge them? Tat was what Sue suggested. I'm positive I don't - but I probably will do it 'just in case'
I'm still looking for ways to use my dowsing crystal
I also feel I need to gorund myself before every visit to Edna. Ia m sure that can't be harmful.
I found my Amethyst pendant this morning so I am wearing it
Do I really beleive I need to wash it and my earrings in cold water to recharge them? Tat was what Sue suggested. I'm positive I don't - but I probably will do it 'just in case'
I'm still looking for ways to use my dowsing crystal
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
Preparing for the home visit
Edna had a home visit today to see what help she will need when she is discharged. I felt I needed to be at my intuitive best to cope with the meeting. So I went through the grounding excercise and meditated using the images Beth used on Sunday - the lane with the gate and the meadow. Penny was in the meadow - and this time I saw and picked a purple flower - which I put in a vase. I got the impression it was a gift for Edna .
It was interesting that during the meditation I noticed my hands and feet tingling - sort of pins and needles.
On the way to Edmna's flat I nearly moved the car off ignoring another a car that was about to turn. But I somehow knew it wasn't going to mive ina direction that would interfere with my driving - and I was right.
When I got to Edna's flat I dowsed the flat to pinpoint anything I needed to point out to the OT's or social worker. It highlighted one object only - her pusher with a seat that she had pushed into the wardrobe. It turns out that as she will be having a commode, that needs to be removed from her flat.
I felt much more alert after the meeting than I normally do after a meeting with Edna. And I didn't feel so stressed out I had a massive choclate craving, So somethign worked.
I am still tempted to de-mistify all this and look at the psychological aspects of it. The meditation relaxed me , put me in the right frame of mind, made me more confident etc. But the psycholoigcal aspect does not invaidate the mystical aspect,
It was interesting that during the meditation I noticed my hands and feet tingling - sort of pins and needles.
On the way to Edmna's flat I nearly moved the car off ignoring another a car that was about to turn. But I somehow knew it wasn't going to mive ina direction that would interfere with my driving - and I was right.
When I got to Edna's flat I dowsed the flat to pinpoint anything I needed to point out to the OT's or social worker. It highlighted one object only - her pusher with a seat that she had pushed into the wardrobe. It turns out that as she will be having a commode, that needs to be removed from her flat.
I felt much more alert after the meeting than I normally do after a meeting with Edna. And I didn't feel so stressed out I had a massive choclate craving, So somethign worked.
I am still tempted to de-mistify all this and look at the psychological aspects of it. The meditation relaxed me , put me in the right frame of mind, made me more confident etc. But the psycholoigcal aspect does not invaidate the mystical aspect,
Monday, 10 August 2009
A magical day
Yesterday I went on a psychic development course. It was awesome.
I arrived about 10.15 and fonally found the place (well hidden!) and found there were only going to be two students - me and a healer called Sue wo had been to training with Marcus and Beth before.
Beth ran the day and staryed off y going through a few basics from the handbook.
Then Beth led us ina guided meditation to find our spirit guides among other things. In our visualisation we had to pick a flower (daisy) and a crystal of a particular colour (purple) enter a room where we would meet our spirit guide , and receive a gidt from our guide. The person I saw was my ghost from york - and from somewhere I got the name Jenny. My gift was a purple velvet cloak. The purple coak was a symbol I pulled from Soraya's book from her chakra opening routine. The cloak is for protection. The prupel crystal was amethyst - which when I looked it up is for prtoection. I started to see a theme emerging especially as Linda on Psychic detectives suggested I needed protection from 'psuchic vampires' in my agony aunt role.
During the discussion after the meditation I told Beth how I had previosuly saeen Penny as my guide, and how I tried to psychically send Penny to Steve amnd then Edna when I was worried about them.
We tried sending each other pictures, psychometry and doing readings for each other. No total failures - but no spetacular sucesses either.
but the high point was the cystal dowsing
Beth had hidden an object in a box the night before the course. She said whoever found it could keep it. As soon as she said she had hidden soemthign I thoguht it was in the corner at the top right of the room.
Beth put three crystal pendants on the table. I went straight for one of them and without thinking started rubbing it with my hands. Beth immediately said that was the correct thing to do to attune it to me. I didnt know that - I was just acting on instinct. We then asked the cystals to show us yes (clockwise) no (anticlockwise) and neutral (side to side)
We then dowesed on maps we had drown of the room and both Sue and I got postive responses from the top right and bottom right corners.
The we had to dowse the room. I started at the left walked half way up the room getting nothing. Then Beth said we needed to dowse at different levels so I oimmediately lowered the crystal - and it went crazy rotating clockwise for yes. Bet told me to check - and I found a box hidden under a toy tiger. Inside the box was a pin brooch - of a gaurdian angel dog. Bet said she had asked the spirits last night what object se shoudl hid eand had no idea why they suggested the brooch. But as soon as I told me story about tryig to use Penny she knew why - and knew who was going to find the object. Sue said it was clearly meant for me.
I was totally blown away by that. I urchased the crystal - it was clearly meant to be mine.
So I do have a talent - the trouble is I can't see how to use it in relation to increasing my empathy.
But I learned so much. I relaised I have been playing and that I need to take this much more seriosuly. I need to meditate and I now relaise I MUST develop protection . i think that is the message I needed to hear.
I know have a base on which to build and develop. I am so sure I am on the right path with this. I am confident I will be shown the next step to take very clearly
I arrived about 10.15 and fonally found the place (well hidden!) and found there were only going to be two students - me and a healer called Sue wo had been to training with Marcus and Beth before.
Beth ran the day and staryed off y going through a few basics from the handbook.
Then Beth led us ina guided meditation to find our spirit guides among other things. In our visualisation we had to pick a flower (daisy) and a crystal of a particular colour (purple) enter a room where we would meet our spirit guide , and receive a gidt from our guide. The person I saw was my ghost from york - and from somewhere I got the name Jenny. My gift was a purple velvet cloak. The purple coak was a symbol I pulled from Soraya's book from her chakra opening routine. The cloak is for protection. The prupel crystal was amethyst - which when I looked it up is for prtoection. I started to see a theme emerging especially as Linda on Psychic detectives suggested I needed protection from 'psuchic vampires' in my agony aunt role.
During the discussion after the meditation I told Beth how I had previosuly saeen Penny as my guide, and how I tried to psychically send Penny to Steve amnd then Edna when I was worried about them.
We tried sending each other pictures, psychometry and doing readings for each other. No total failures - but no spetacular sucesses either.
but the high point was the cystal dowsing
Beth had hidden an object in a box the night before the course. She said whoever found it could keep it. As soon as she said she had hidden soemthign I thoguht it was in the corner at the top right of the room.
Beth put three crystal pendants on the table. I went straight for one of them and without thinking started rubbing it with my hands. Beth immediately said that was the correct thing to do to attune it to me. I didnt know that - I was just acting on instinct. We then asked the cystals to show us yes (clockwise) no (anticlockwise) and neutral (side to side)
We then dowesed on maps we had drown of the room and both Sue and I got postive responses from the top right and bottom right corners.
The we had to dowse the room. I started at the left walked half way up the room getting nothing. Then Beth said we needed to dowse at different levels so I oimmediately lowered the crystal - and it went crazy rotating clockwise for yes. Bet told me to check - and I found a box hidden under a toy tiger. Inside the box was a pin brooch - of a gaurdian angel dog. Bet said she had asked the spirits last night what object se shoudl hid eand had no idea why they suggested the brooch. But as soon as I told me story about tryig to use Penny she knew why - and knew who was going to find the object. Sue said it was clearly meant for me.
I was totally blown away by that. I urchased the crystal - it was clearly meant to be mine.
So I do have a talent - the trouble is I can't see how to use it in relation to increasing my empathy.
But I learned so much. I relaised I have been playing and that I need to take this much more seriosuly. I need to meditate and I now relaise I MUST develop protection . i think that is the message I needed to hear.
I know have a base on which to build and develop. I am so sure I am on the right path with this. I am confident I will be shown the next step to take very clearly
Sunday, 2 August 2009
A premonition
I am worried about Edna. I have a feeling she is abut to develop an acute problem that is going to lead to a crisis.
I have the feeling that all the chatter and cheerfulness are a front. Today or yesterday we discussed crying and she said she can't be bothered with crying. When I said it could be helpful to let the emotion out she dismissed the idea. I think she is depressed ...........very depressed.
When she was chasing me out of the hospital today she actually made some comment about her not going to die. That is very out of character for her. I am wondering why she made that remark.
If I am right about the depression, she won't have the will to fight ansy illness - so a crisis now could be life threatening for her.
I am almost sure this is just me being pessimistic - but I will record it here - and hope I am wrong
I have the feeling that all the chatter and cheerfulness are a front. Today or yesterday we discussed crying and she said she can't be bothered with crying. When I said it could be helpful to let the emotion out she dismissed the idea. I think she is depressed ...........very depressed.
When she was chasing me out of the hospital today she actually made some comment about her not going to die. That is very out of character for her. I am wondering why she made that remark.
If I am right about the depression, she won't have the will to fight ansy illness - so a crisis now could be life threatening for her.
I am almost sure this is just me being pessimistic - but I will record it here - and hope I am wrong
Cakes
Yesterday Edna asked me to get her something 'yummy' when I went shopping. I didnt have a clue what to buy her but was limited by the fact that it had to be finger food rather than needing a spoon to eat it.
Apart from knowing she doesn't chocolate cakes I wasn't sure what she would like. So in the middle of the supermarket I tried to tune in and asked Doug (her late husband) for some inspiration. I picked a packet of Frangipan cakes, and from her reaction today I think I picked well.
I have NO idea if she meant it when she said she liked them (she does have dementia after all) but from her reaction I think she did.
Apart from knowing she doesn't chocolate cakes I wasn't sure what she would like. So in the middle of the supermarket I tried to tune in and asked Doug (her late husband) for some inspiration. I picked a packet of Frangipan cakes, and from her reaction today I think I picked well.
I have NO idea if she meant it when she said she liked them (she does have dementia after all) but from her reaction I think she did.
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