Go with the flow.

This morning I decided to ask the question 'What do I need to know about me' as I shuffled my tarot cards for my daily pick. What I got was a huge surprise. I picked the 8 of swords then realised I was being prompted to pick 2 more and do a past present future spread. What I saw was amazing

Te past was the 8 of swords - feeling trapped. I realised there are other cards that could give that message so I wondered why THIS card was picked and realised I was feeling trapped by own thoughts.

The present was the King of swords - the culmination of the suit -someone who is control. I decided this means I am gaining mastery over my thoughts. Well after all the practice with the wonderful Mr McKenna's systems I should be. I have wobbled recently with the positive thinking and yesterday I got a prod to concentrate on meditation and my spiritual well being. Which is partly why I asked the question I did.

It was my Future card that was such a shock The Empress. As number 3 in the major arcana this card is special to me as my life path number/ruling number (from my birthday) is 3.Once I picked my jaw up off the floor I felt this represnted me fulfilling my 'destiny' - well maybe that is to strong a word - so lets say me doing what I should be doing.

However it was obvious that this golden future depends on my keeping my thoughts under control so I decided to 'Ask My Guides' how I could best do this. the answer was 'discipline' a Master Teacher card.

I decided to meditate to see if I could talk to my master teacher and work out what sort of discipline I need. As I was preparing to meditate I got the thought that discipline about house work would be a good idea for starters. That isn't just me being my normal 'worry wort' about the house and garden. I get a great sense of satisfaction and pride in myself when I am happy about how the house and garden look. Yesterdays gardening session left me physically tired but mentally and spiritually buoyed up.

My meditation took me to the castle where I met Peter. I sat down across the table from him and asked him what I needed to do. He passed a book over to me - I opened it and found a crystal ball inside. I have decided I need a crystal ball to use to help my meditations. Another excuse to go shopping!

Well what a day - and I haven't even done my other card picks yet. But going with the flow I will do them in a bit and see what other messages they have for me. Then I am going to give the kitchen a bit of a sort out and do some 'active ' meditation on the cards I pick

Fairies

Do I believe in fairies ? No. But today fairies have been very much on mind. Psychic TV had a session with fairy cards and the psychic said we can have fairy guides. I immediately thought about the gnome I 'saw' in a waking vision. The psychic showed a deck of fairy cards and we both liked the look of them, so we went to Northfield to see if we could find them. We didn't but did find a different Doreen Virtue fairy deck.

I decided to buy them and on reading the book that comes with them, she makes issue of the fact that fairies are creatures of nature and the cards work bets if you use them in a natural setting or while visualizing a natural setting. That resonated with me as I have realised how important it is for me to link with nature.

When I got home I decided to do a daily pick. I got 'Inner Power' which talks about how I am spiritually powerful, a light worker, shouldn't be afraid to use my power - all SO positive and affirming .

So I feel very positive that I should have the deck. I am not even going to balk if I find out that gnome I saw is a fairy guide for me. I can rationalise about psychological images and messages from the subconscious. I can think in terms of 'nature energy'

I feel getting that deck was important for me

Understanding card picks

Sometimes the cards really surprise me. Often when I do my picks I just ask for a card for 'guidance' or 'inspiration' or 'what do I need to focus today' This morning I asked if I should concentrate on health or money issues.

I am tired and ache this morning. I am also spiritually bruised by a friends attitude. The dispute with this friend has made me wonder how they see me - and that in turn got me thinking about how I see myself and yesterdays meditation. I was wondering the way I feel is a sign I need to stop and give special attention to my health.

As usual I divided the cards into 4 piles - and got a huge buzz off three of them. So I took one card from each of those piles. I ended up with

7 of wands
Knight of wands
9 of pentacles

My initial reaction was 'what?' But on reading the information in the book I decided they do make sense

The 7 is about courage and competition, and that having achieved some success you can't just sit back and relax. But it also speaks about how you sometimes struggle with yourself as much as outside forces. Now that resonated with me

The Knight is all about action decisive action, not planning a lot but just doing. The knight is successful and self confident If he a fails he picks himself up and just gets on with things again.

The 9 is about material contentment ,the person who has enough for their needs, and most importantly is happy with their own company. the phrase that came into my mind (and not from the book) is 'happy in her own skin' The image on this cars is of someone who appreciates herself and her life.

She is EXACTLY what I am aiming for. And I think the message is that I AM or can be that person as long as I have the self belief to take action.

Did that answer my question? Yes I think it did. It told me what I am doing is working and I just need to carry on with what I am doing.

So I decided to do my others picks as well in a mood of confidence. Angel Therapy just produced total confusion. I asked specifically about health issues and ended up trying three times to pick a card. In turn I got Twin Flame, You are clairvoyant and Books. I have no idea what that is all about. I got books recently and have picked Twin Flame before. You are clairvoyant ?? None of those seem to relate health at all.

When I used 'Ask your guides' I literally said 'OK tell me what I need to know' and got Shame 'Quote from the book 'You are at the risk of falling under the spell of self criticism because of poor choices or learned behavior and this is bringing on the energy of shame' This could refer to the situation with the friend OR the way I feel about my failure to lose weight.In either case the message of the card is 'you are your own worst enemy - and you are loved'. It also talks about these problems being part of the learning process needed to make progress.

I didn't really formulate a question as I was shuffling the Uncorn cards. One card fell out 'Believe in yourself'

Maybe that also means I need to believe in the 'I am clairvoyant' card as well. Now there's a thought.

Cards and meditation

My cards today gave me very positive messages on the day that I have my first session at Little Aston. But they also gave me warnings about myself and my need to really know and understand myself.And as ever they spoke of change - one of my cards was Death!

So I decided to meditate on the cards and see what insights I got. The thought that came into my head was about a meditation David Wells suggested to 'meet' your real self. I didn't remember all the details but I know it involved going into a house . So I found myself with Jenny and Jonas leading me to a cottage. It was very dilapidated and in need of repair. I was quite shocked. I realised that is how I see myself. Small and dilapidated. Then I saw a For Sale board and thought 'no' I don't want to sell this place - it can be done up and improved'

I went inside but there was no-one there. I realised not only could the cottage be repaired but it could be extended.

I realised I was being told I need to care for myself if I am going to be able to care for others.

Messages from the cards

As can be seen from my other blog, I have realised a few things and come to some decisions about needing to take a new approach to life. This includes the new approach to my card picks.

I did my usual routine with the tarot cards this morning,but asked specifically for a card to boost my self esteem. I got a reaction from all four piles , and got the feeling I needed more than 1 card. After some concentration I decided I needed 5. So I spread the cards out and picked 5 at random.

The cards I got were

Ace of swords - interesting new circumstances, may initially seem negative but is probably a blessing in disguise

Wheel of Fortune - this again contained the phrase 'blessing in disguise' and also speaks about how we ave control -but at the same time no control over our lives. We can't control the options we are given, but we control our choices

Judgment - reaping what you sow - appraising what you ave done

2 of Wands - new venture, unfulfilled potential balance between action and passivity

5 of wands everything seems to be conspiring against you but the friction can force you into new constructive ways of working

If I had dealt them out the natural way (from the top) rather than they way I did which meant I dealt them in the order I picked them they would have come out in the reverse order - and told exactly the story of how I am feeling at the moment and given me a vision of a wonderful future.

I am absolutely amazed at these cards. I am amazed that I seem to have got the message correct about what I was meant to do.

I am now going to go and meditate on this occurrence.

Master Teacher

One of my cards today was 'Master Teacher' which apparently is an indication that I have on e- a master teacher that is. Si I decided to meditate to try and find out who he (or she) is.

It was a strange very bitty meditation. At times I was so relaxed I was almost dreaming. One vivid image that came to me while I was in that state was of two cats playing together on the back lawn/ One was a tabby cat - and I think the other was black. It wasn't clear enough for me to identify Misha and Jet clearly - but that was the thought that came into my mind.

I saw Peter but for some reason the name Simon came into my mind and that lead off down the path of thinking. 'Simon Peter' Thomas' both apostles names. That lead naturally on to thinking about Jesus. Do I think He is my master teacher - well he could be I suppose but I am not convinced.

I can't remember the other images I saw. I tried to give some structure to the meditation but it didn't really happen. I was in the castle. Peter was there, at one point I left by the other door and I was flying on a seagulls back again.

I did get the idea I maybe ought to give automatic writing a try - but I am not convinced that isn't just a little jealousy of Tony.

I can't quite convince myself that some of my thoughts were not just 'Monkey Brain' but the one clear image I have taken from the meditaton is of the two cats playing.

Interestingly my Unicorn card today was 'Pets' and one meaning of that is that your pets in spirit are saying they still love you. My original idea was that the card related to Penny. Maybe I was wrong.

I am not sure I have identified my master teacher - but my working assumption is that it IS Peter.

Taking action

After the meditation I decided to try and get some serious practice of some sort in. I used my pendant to check if my chakra's were balanced, and if I needed to carry an crystals. (yes and no respectively) Then I asked it if energy work is the right thing for me to, (yes) and if my daily card picks are valid practice (yes). I got quite vigorous movement of the pendant - not as vigorous as Wolf can - but very definite so that was a positive sign.

I did my card picks working to concentrate on expanding my energy and trying to feel energy coming from the 'right' cards. My card picks were fascinating

Page of Pentacles - a common card for me to pick. One interpretation of this card is that is time for me to develop myself. So I see that as confirmation that energy work is what I need to work on

My Angel Therapy card was Ascended Masters - again a card I have picked before.Reading the information in the book they specifically mention Jesus as an ascended master - and that is who I believe I have seen when my ascended master has appeared in meditation. So that was very encouraging.

"Ask your guides ' I upturned 2 cards during the shuffle 'Devotion' and 'Grace' then I picked Communuty

Quoting from Devotion ' Do not allow your mind to isolate you in fera and get stuck dwelling in misery' Wow what a description of how I have been feeling over the past few days 'Instead get outside in the natural world' A salutary reminder to me to get to the park on the regular basis - starting tomorrow.

Grace talks about being aligned with your purpose. Community means I am surrounded by spiritual ancestors. I must try to see if I can find them in meditation.

My unicorn card was Laughter - a reminder that I haven't done enough of that lately.

I did feel these cards were incredibly apt for my current situation. I can nearly always see some message but these fit SO closely with recent events and my feelings. I may be totally wrong but I can't help but feel my active concentration in using energy to 'feel' what I should do has paid off.

I must keep this up

A spiritual hangover?

I have been been feeling both physically and spiritually off colour for the past week. I have been really REALLY fed up and depressed, and have been brewing what seems to be a cold.

I realised yesterday this could be because I still haven't quite evicted the negative energy I think I brought home with me from the creaky cauldron. So this morning I decided to do a meditation to try to re-ground and re-protect myself. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do but I did it.

I had 2 candles lit, used an incense stick to bless the room - and used the symbol of the cross as well CKR.

The meditation was a strange affair. I visualised myself covered in light and rising through the top of the house . I then found myself at my 'temple of dreams' The back was lit with green light and Jonas and Ariel were there. I realised I had been forgetting Ariel is there to protect me. That gave me a lot of confidence.

I couldn't make sense of anything in the temple so I left and found myself at the castle. Peter was there. I struggled to make sense of why I was there. I didn't get any clear messages - but eventually I remembered the Ear Chakra card which I have picked 3 times over the past few days.

I wondered if it meant I was 'due' to start 'hearing' messages. I still get very frustrated that I don't seem to have clear communication with my guides. Then I suddenly found myself thinking 'What am I good at?' The immediate answer was communication. Then I realised communication is a two way thing both speaking and listening. Then I got the thought that I would hear more psychically if I spoke more psychically.

I realised I both give a receive information when I use energy techniques. So I think I need to practice those.

Despite the confused feel of the meditation I think I made a leap forward. All I have to do now is work out how to practice the energy work.

Meditation and cards

Yesterday when I did my tarot card pick, the 8 or cups ended up sticking out from the deck. I ignored it and the card I picked was the Ace or Swords.

This morning I picked my card - but then found I had 2 cards - and I can't explain how that happened. The cards were The Fool - and the 8 of Cups.

I decided to make these two cards the focus of my meditation. I found myself in the Temple of dreams.I got bathed in blue light as I entered and I thought I saw Eli. Then I realised he was snarling and got the impression it was one of the nastier characters from Saturday night. I dealt with him with my sword then Eli came forward and hugged me.

I walked towards the alter and saw two stained glass windows. On the right was the word Asda, on the left was the Ace of Swords.

I tried to go into the library at the back - but it was dark.

I am setting out on a journey to become a reiki practitioner with proper patients. The 8 of cups seems to indicate my old life as a hospital pharmacist is no longer valid or useful. The Ace of Swords represents the shaft of white light mentioned in the reading at the psychic fair.The job with Asda will give me useful business skills that will help me run the business side of Krystal Wolf. That also makes sense of the Leadership card I have picked several times. I will 'lead' the company. The Fool card shows the journey starting and shows it is not without risks.

Iam not sure why I had to deal with that character from the creaky Cauldron - if it WAS him. I may ask Carolyn for some advice.

Last nights investigation

This was a fantastic night. I feel I made progress in my psychic development. I sensed someone's knee problem, I got some names and events right, I was close with some psychometry. I ended the evening with a lot more confidence in my abilities

I can't give details because Tony didn't get to the investigation. It was such a fantastic place I want to go back with him as soon as possible. But I don't want to contaminate things by giving Tony any prior knowledge. And there is one piece of information about the buildings history tat they don't give you unless it is sensed by the group. And if you DO get it you are not allowed to tell anyone anyway. they ask you to keep it confidential. So I can't really say anything about what happened

But it was an amazing night.

I missed Tony - but I have the funny feeling I made better progress because I had to push myself more. So maybe he wasn't MEANT to be there.

Don't suppose that will make you feel any better tho Tony.

Law of attraction

We have made two new friend James and Debby. Yesterday I found out that Debby is a hedge witch and you only have to mention ghosts to James and he will start talking about strange events at his house. So apparently by coincidence our circle of spiritual/paranormal friends has grown again. Except I am sure it is NOT coincidence. It is the Law of Attraction in action

I had some good news today. I have permission to offer a reiki service at Fosters.

Building on yesterdays reading

My plan for today was dash over to hall Green, deliver some leaflets, come back for Manie's phone call, then go out again to deliver the rest of the leaflets. I was on my way, sitting in a traffic jam when I realised it was not the best plan. I didn twant to waste probably an hour travelling when I didnt really need to and could put the time to much better use by meditating. So I came home and did just that. I spent over 30 minutes in a very fruitful meditation.

Before I did the meditation I checked my emails and found an email from healthy pages (and I have never had one of those before) and one item that stood out was a link to a hypnotherapy course. I decided on impulse to click the link and get a prospectus. Yesterday Pam did say she saw me doing some studying.

I walked to the park, grounded myself then climbed the cloud staircase. I went ot the Temple of Dreams. I opened the door and found myself bathed in a white/yellow light. I walked towards the alter and I realised my guides were sitting in the pews and the ascended master was in the pulpit. I could see Ariel in the stained glass window.I stopped at the entrance to the choir and knelt down. The Master came down and blessed me and turned me round to face my guides - who were all clapping.

I then walked to the back of the temple where there are rooms. By this time the light had gone and this area was gloomy as it normally is. One room had the word 'school' written on it. I opened it and found myself in a huge library. I couldn't see any particular titles. I walked out again and found myself looking back at the alter and the Ascended Master again - asking for re-assurance - which I got.

Of course it wasn't as clear cut as I have written in. Some very mundane thoughts intruded to do with finance, the new Krystal Wolf company, Asda, the interview. But I did get some inspirations - like asking Gill (or Linda?) to draw a logo for our stationery - unless I can find a crystal wolf among the 50,000 images I purchased the other day.

OK some of what I experienced could be psychosomatic. Like seeing a library when I was told last night I would be doing study. The white/yellow light on entering the temple could also have been due the readers words about white light pouring down on me - and my cards last night were predominantly white and yellow. But some things such as the blessing and the applause from my guides were a genuine surprise.

But I do feel I made the right move by sending off for the information about hypnotherapy

Psychic fair

We went to a psychic fair and both got readings. Mine was very interesting. I am on the right path and at the right place on that path. Tony and I are soulmates, the money will be there when I need it, I need to focu on meditation, and I need to believe in myself. But she also said reiki is just the start.

There were some very familiar cards in the spread (22 cards!) The heirophant, the star, the 7 of pentacles, Ace of swords Knight of swords Queen of wands.........all cards tat have appeared regularly in my picks for myself

I asked for a general reading and the reader asked if there were specific areas like relationships or work - so I chose work. She then asked what I did so I did tell her about the reiki.

She picked up on past sorrow on my path.

It felt like an accurate reading - and I am now wondering what the reiki will lead to. She also said Tony will have to work harder to develop than I will. That it will come easier to me. On the surface that doesn't make sense - but the reiki has been SO easy for me. I think if I can get over the blocks I put on myself, I may find I develop faster than Tony. But he apparently has dome this before in a past life. So I really dont know.

Tony had a reading too.

An extraordinary day

I have been feeling distinctly 'blah' lately - definitely lacking direction and progress in so many areas. This morning on the news there was an item about how exercise in green spaces especially near water is very good for you - restoring self esteem. I took that as a sign that I was being nudged to get my track suit on and head for park and my normal route round the lake. So I did. When I reached the park I immediately started jogging at a slow pace - and managed to jog continuously to and then all the way round the lake.

I realised that I had coped with more jogging because I was going slower than I normally do. I immediately thought - this means the work thing can't be rushed. Don't be impatient. Take it slowly and it will happen. The other thought I got was that I expected to be able to run faster than I could - and realised I have been expecting too much of myself in other areas.

While meditating as I jogged I also realised I have been feeling so down because I get no positive feedback from anyone - including myself. When I am at work even it was dire, I always got some positive feedback to tell me I was doing OK, that I was good at what I was doing. At the moment I have got nothing. I think that's why I have been so keen to help the Lib Dems. Charlotte is always so grateful. I feel needed. I knew my work colleagues needed me, I knew my patients needed me. I feel my reiki clients will need me. Without a job I feel like a waste of space and totally unnecessary.

Having had these useful insights I then went to stuff some envelopes at Osmond House. This takes a small part of my mind to do leaving a large part free to think. And I found myself wondering excatly what next weekend will bring. I am convinced we are going to learn something useful from Carolyn. Of course that could just be wishful thinking.

The most extraordinary happened this afternoon. Last night Tony got a reading from Psychic TV. is question was 'how many guides and what do they want me to know. Her answer was basically one word - healing. She specifically mentioned healing with words and healing with hands. So Tony texted through another question explaining that I did healing and that he saw his path in medium-ship. He got an answer back that was very encouraging and basically saying it would be very good for him.

She was SO positive about the emphasis on healing. Thats HAS to be 'positive feedback' from the other side that I am on the right path - and doing OK.

But I need to make sure I give myself positive feedback on a regular basis.