The psychic circle

I made it to the psychic circle today - and so apparently did Thomas! At least the man Allegra described as being with me sounded like Thomas.

It was a good experience. I had a tarot reading - and GAVE a tarot reading. Allegra did my reading and I did a reading for Sue - which she said was quite accurate.

I even picked up some stuff while Allegra was doing a normal reading for Arron.

My reading from Allegra was interesting - the past and present bit was accurate. the future bit was fascinating. Something good could happen at Xmas and it will take me about 6 months to properly develop. But I feel I got confirmation that I AM on the right path

Slow and steady

I still feel dispirited when nothing amazing happens. My meditations are still a bit .............static I think is the word. But I did have a tsrange woman wander into my gorunding meditation yesterday. I wondered if t was Tony's Sarah. I have asked him to ask her.

This morning I did the 5 card excercise with the pendant and it worked. That cheers me up. I am beggining to beleive I can use the pendant reliably. I have to assume when I am confident with it I willl be told clearly what I am supposed to do with it.

I did some self healing this morning. My main problem is my IBS so I concentrated on that then thought I would try and do something with my head to try and lift my mood. So I put one hand on my head. then I realised I was seeing red and decided that was a sign I needed to concentrate on my base chakra. So I moved back to lower abdomen. I ended up with tingling on the back of my hands - and having to shake stuff away through the window.

So practise is helping me and slow and steady is always the best way. I am confident I will have more 'wow' moments

I rang Allegra last night - and Tony seems amenable to the ide of going along on Saturday.

The cosmos speaks

Believing In Yourself

Limitations can either define us or give us a challenge to outwit. When you look at your abilities, do you see boundaries and limits, or do you see possibilities and potential? Obsessing about weaknesses can blind us to the untapped abilities we already have. You have talent. Everyone does. The secret to success is to find that talent, develop it and push it as far as you can. Grandma Moses might have been a lousy bowler, Einstein probably couldn't sing a lick, Michelangelo could've been unable to speak well in public. So what? They knew what they were good at and rode that pony. Your talent might be right in front of you: where do you get the most compliments? What seems to come easily to you? What do people ask your advice for? Live there. Don't let the rest get in the way.


and I am listening! I WILL practise with my pendant and believe I have it for a reason

Pendulum practice

I tried 2 experiments today.

In the first one I had 5 random cards looked at the bottom one (and ONLY the bottom one) and named it (Ace of spades) as my card. I then laid the 5 cards out in a circle and asked the pendulum to give me a positive repsonse over my card. Basiclly I put it over every card and asked 'is this the ace of spades?'

I got a strong positive response on my third card but carried on and tested the other 2, then went BACK to the third card and asked again. I got another srong positive response.

Imagine my feelings when I turned it over and found I had found the Ace of Spades.

In my second experiment I picked one card and asked is this card black ? then is this card red?

I decided it was black so then narrowed it down to clubs by the same technique

Then I asked was it a court card and got a yes.

Then a randomly asked 'is this 9 diamonds' and got a no.

I a sked if it was the Ace of clubs and gt a yes.

So I turned it over and discovered it was the Ace of hearts. = but I still feel I was succesful to identify the value of the card even though I got the suit and colour wrong.

20 minutes is about as long as you can usefully practice so that was it - but I am impressed - and have my faith in the pendant back.

Tony had a very impressive meditation session last night - and when he told me about it I got both jealous and frsutrated because my meditation visions are NEVER clear - and half the time I think I am am imagining everything. but then I realised imagination can be prompted by your subconcious or the 'universal mind'

Anyway I went off and meditated (in a fit of pique if I am honest) In my imagination I saw Thomas handin me the book on Pendulum magic - as if saying 'you've got it now go and use it'

I tried to let my mind wander after that and strated seeing patterns on my eyelids. For a brief moment I saw a patter that looked amazingly like a mans face. It was almost as if having decided to be sensible and practice with the pendulum, I was being rewarded with a glimpse of Thomas's face.
Fanciful I know - but it COULD be true

Next Saturday Allegra's cricle will be sitting. i am going to ring her up and ask if I can go. I hope Tony will come as well if she doesn't mind 2 strangers turning up .

A book

I b ought a book called 'Pendulum Magic for begginers' I have skimmed through it and it talks about using the pendant in healing and homeopathy - and even gave me a new insight on chakras.

It also talks about practicing with the pendant so I have decided to do the 20 minutes a day it recommends.

I have resisted using it because I was disappointed when it didn't seem to work - and also because I didnt want to use it for trivial things. But practice isn't trivialising it and it means I will have confidence in it when I really need it.

MHL

8 nights of MHL and we are going to be glued to the tv every night!! Early on I got the name George. Although the team didn't come out with that name, apparently a lot of other viewers did because it was one of the names Julian mentioned in his end of show summary.

Interesting - and I am half counting it as a hit.

What is a stone?

OK the stone that Thomas gave me as a gift is still intriguing me. Latest idea to flash into my mind is that of a whetstone to sharpen the sword I visualise during my grounding meditation.

So it could represent a
-an egg (birth of new life)
- the stone I visualise in my grounding meditation keeping my feet on the ground
- a tool to smash down bariers
- a whetstone to sharpen my defenses against evil

Ideas on a post card to ..................

This mornings meditation

I mediated without any music this morning - mainly because I let my iPod downstairs and couldn't be bothered to go down and get it.

I did my grounding meditation and sudden;y had an insight. In my grounding I visualise roots wrapping themselves round a rock. I realised the rock is VERY similar to the one Thomas gave me. I suddenly wondered if that was a sign that Thomas is there to help me keep my feet on the ground. And suddenly he was by the bench with me and nodding. He passed me the sword I visualise, and Jenny was there as well to put my cloak on.

Interesting - and my thumbs were very much affected again just like last night - again interesting

Communication with guides

Having decided I needed some guidance last night when I meditated I faced the problem of HOW to communicate.

I experineced some interesting sensations during the meditation. Both my thumbs had extreme sensations - uch more than the normal tingling I get in my hands. Also I experienced some very vivid pattern images - its the first time I have experienced that during meditation. At least I know I was awake. Other occurrences have been when I was lying trying to doze in the morning.

So something happened in the meditation - but I am not sure what. I hope Thomas and Jenny are patient. I really AM trying.

Anyway I got the ide that maybe I woudl do better when I can really let my mind wander so I decided to listen to the 'Secret Universal Mind' track. I am not sure what I was expecting to happen - apart from the fact that it was as ever very good at getting me off to sleep. But I think my subconcious picked up the messages I needed to hear and made sure I consciously heard them. There were two bits that struck a chord.

I am paraphrasing this very badly but one message is that our physical bodies are vessels for our spirits which are in turn part of the universal spirit. That universal spirit is perfect, so therefore MY SPIRIT AND MY BODY ARE ALSO BE PERFECT. This resonated with a previous insiight that I need to be happy with who I am and how I came to be who I am before I can move on. My body perfect? Its a laugh isnt it. I have heard that message before - but somehow it had more impact last night.

The other message was about getting answers when the time is right. In other words I dont have to worry about the questions I raised yesterday. I will finds the answers when I need to.

Does that also apply to to the 'problem' of me communicating with Thomas and Jenny?

Intuition working overtime?

I MUST mention the ridiculous situation I am in with my agency. They have requested my degree certificate. and I dont have a clue where it is. At the moment I dont have the energy to try and find it - although maybe the sorting out I will do to find it will be useful. I am so angry about it becasue it is a piece of bureaucratic nonsense. The only way to be registered with the RPSGB is to have passed a degree. Why the f**k do the agency need to see my degree certificate? I suppose I can understand why in one way - but it doesn't say a lot for their opinion of the Pharm Socs processes. Last nght my FP status ranted about this and said if they insisted I woull be happy to leave the agency and look for other work streams. The thought hadn't been in my mind before that - and it was a bit of bravado on my part. I am now wondering if there is a grain of truth in it and maybe at the time of HUGE change I am being given a sign that my time with the agency is over. Yesterday I also found myself wondering if my mobile contract was a waste now I no longer have to ring Edna or ring people on her behalf. The thought came to me that I may need it for business purposes. I saw myself ringing local community pharmacies to see if they want a locum. And that was before my FB rant. I need to think and meditate

I posted the above in CL&T - but as I typed I decided it also deserved a place here. I got manouvered into my carer postion with Edna and it led me almost directly down the path to reiki. I could be being manouvered away from the agency.

It seems odd this has happened just as I am setting up the company ,and just as I am free to look at other opportunities. I really DO need to meditate on this. I also feel I need for Tony's input on this so I will ask him to meditate as well and see if Sarah has any thoughts about our future.

Rational vs mystical

There is no doubt I have 2 distinct sides to me. Last night I didnt do a full on meditation but I listened to some nice music and just sta and thought about my 'spirit guides' I came to the conclusion I have 2 guide 'figures' because I have 2 sides to me. The rational practical side that keeps me working as a pharmacist because we need a roof over our heads and the mystical side that wants to throw it all up and work as a therapist in a patient facing role.

I think Thomas is a rational practical person. I connect him with railways (Thomas the tank engine??? and his top hat reminds me of the Fat Controller!!) or some other sort of engineering job. I have already said that I think Jenny was a healer of some sort.

My feeling that I need to be comfortable with who I am before I can move forward seems much more logical now. I think I NEED both sides of me to be successful in the path I am on. My thought that Thomas will only go into rooms on the left of the corridor and Jenny only into rooms on the right fits with that. It also makes me wonder what I might find in a room at the end of the corridor. I am aso wondering what I will find in the room Thomas took me too that I decided represented me as I am.

I was far too roired to meditate properly last night. I am excited about tonights meditation already! And yet again this blog has been a useful tool in my meditation.

A good meditation session

I woke feeling very positive this morning and having motivated myself to do some mundane stuff I decided I felt very motivated to try seriously with some meditation. So I did my normal gronding meditation and prayer session. The I decided to do the shorter of the Tony Stockwell spirit guide meditations.

I have realised that just because I dont find myself lost in picture perfect visions with amazing clarity it does NOT mean my meditation has failed. I am basically a rational person and I have realised that if the image seems right to me it is probably correct. So do I beleive that I have 2 guides named Jenny and Thomas? I am not sure. But what I am sure about is that my psyche can accept those names and images as acceptable symbols. So they are perfectly valid.

I saw the corridor Tony mentions very clearly. The room (which only Thomas went into) was on the left hand side of the corridor and was mediu size pure white with no furnishings. I decided it needed some decoration so I put up pictures of Edna and Alan. Why them?

Well I beleive that room is a symbol of who I am and they have played a huge part in making who I am today. I beleive I have to be fully aware of who I am before i can move forward. Essentially I have to beleive in myself before I can beleive in the new life that is beckoning to me as I explore my spiritual side.

Meditation doesn't HAVE to be mystical. It can be rational. Rational works for me. I trust it more.

Spirit guides

Last night I attempted to meditate just to communicate with my supposed 'spirit guides' I can't say it was a fantastic success. I was controlling it. I wasn't able to just let my mind wander free. I am hoping blogging will unlock a few more ideas.

I have come to the conclusion that Jenny is my reiki guide. The idea that she had worked in some sort of healing capacity in her life popped into my mind.

Thomas remains a mystery- as much of a mystery as the rock that was his gift to me. Jenny's gift of the protective cloak makes perfect sense. If I work as a healer I will need protection from negative energies generated by my clients. But a rock? It is a whiteish grey smooth rock rather egg shaped.

Maybe it is linked to the gull I saw? The gull is meant to represent how I appear in the 'spirit world' So what does the gull mean to me? Freedom I suppose. But any bird could represent that. What makes the gull special. The sound of the gull is one that evokes happy memories of childhood holidays for me. Gulls live at the borders. They are at home on sea and on land. I feel quite at home both in the scientific world of pharmacy and the spiritual world of reiki and the paranormal.

To be honest one idea has been hammering at my brain since I wrote the comment about the rock being egg shaped. The image of the egg is obvious - new life. My new life as I explore and use my psychic abilities. Tony's and my new life as we work together .

But why do I see it as a rock? Maybe because its going to be tough going to open my psychic abilities. But also the rock is tough and can be used to crack things if used in the right way. Maybe I am being given a tool to help me unlock my abilities.

I think I now know why I have been guided to blog so much. Blogging opens up my mind. In a way it is part of the meditation process for me. What a fusion of science and spirituality! The world wide web as a meditation tool. OK I could do it just using a word processor package - but I know I wouldn't do it as regularly. there is something about blogging that really appeals to me.

Next step is to work out how to use the rock I have been given.

Meditation to meet my spirit guide?

I decided to use Tony Stockwell's rack tonight for my meditation. Anthony has used it quite a lot and I thought I would give it a try.

The canoe was bright yellow with red cushions. I couldn't see ay patterns on the cushions.

The flame on the candle in the cave was red. I have no idea what this means that I need - but according to Mr S the colour the flame changes to is the colour I need.

To my surprise when the meditation got to the point where I met my guide, he was a man in a top hat. The name 'Thomas' popped into my mind. He was wearing a top hat and my feeling was that he was victorian. I seem to have a thing about Victorians because Jenny is also victorian. So do I have 2 guides? Or is one of them my reiki guide and the other my normal spirit guide? Or am I subconciously remembering Upstairs Downtairs and pciking Thomas becasue it fits with Anthony's guide who he beleives is called Sarah?

The gift Thomas gave me was a rock. Go figure what THAT means. It was a very smooth large whiteish grey rock - sort of egg shaped. All this is very different to the meditation in Stourbridge. I am confused

All of the above could be just me and my imagination.

The one thing I AM sure about is the bird that appare tly represents me as I am now. I saw a sea gull.

I need a book to look up the meaning s of all these images and see if I can make sense of them.

Do I REALLY believe I have a spirit guide? I am still not sure - but I am not ruling it out as a possibility

Self Healing again

I was feeling totally awful this afternoon. I was tired and stressed because I had lost an important set of keys which I knew were in the house somewhere.

I decided I needed to do a self healing session. So I went upstairs and decided I would go the whole hog light a candle, burn incense and do a reasonable meditation. So I closed the curtains and in so doing I kicked a bag that was in the way - and heard the welcome rattle of my keys in the bottom of the bag (which was full of stuff I had retrieved from Edna's flat)

I had a succesful meditation and self healing. I saw colours as I was channeling reiki. Mainly red and purple. I felt very tingly and had some muscle twitching in my legs. I felt much better once I finished the session

Free to continue my journey?

This is my first entry in this blog since Edna died - and the first since we went on the workshop at Hay Castle.

I think I now know the sigificance on Psalm 23. Edna died the following day. 'Yea tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death'

The workshop was awesome. I realised that I pick up on emotions. Quite early on we were doing a walk round ourside and everyone else (including Tony) was picking up on things - and I wasn't .I felt so frustrated I could have cried. then I thought about it logically and realised I wasn't THAT stupod so announced I was picking up sadness from somewhere.

Then a bit later on we moved into a room in the castle, I was qorried becasue I couldn't see Tony and wasn't sure he was there. I was feeling agitated. It was only later the penny dropped that the sensitives in that rom were reporting that whatever was in there was very agitated.

So am I empathic? I think I may be.

Also from nowhere I got the name James. A bit later on another person picked up the same name. On cjecking the history I foind there WAS a James closely involved with the building.

Part of the workshop was an energy attunement (a bit like a reiki attunement) This morning I woke early and tried to get back to sleep. When I closed my eyes I started seeing thigns similar to my 'jungle' visions. But this time it was kind of like a skull pattern overlaid by a moving orange patern (flames???) This time I KNOW 100% I was awake. I opened my eyes checked the time closed my eyes again and conciosuly tried NOT to see the same thing again - and saw the same thing again.

I think it must be something to do with the energy (EAP??) that we all got.

I got another impromptu reading from Carolyn during a break. Edna (apparently) came through basically to say Thank you and she knew she had been a thorn in my side and could be a bit diffcult. She aso said she got very frustrated (which I knew) and mentioned problems with her watch and dentures not fitting as some of evidence. She aso said she hadn't yet found Alan but knew he was nearby. I can be sceptical and say most of what I heard was what I wanted to hear and that Carolyn picked up on it becasue of what she already knew from me, and guessed from my body language. Based on what I learned on the workshop I have a theory about mediums possibly picking thoughts from the client as energy . In essence the client hears what they want to hear/expect to hear. Mind you that means telepathy is real which is still pretty mind blowing. But I neither wanted nor expected to hear Edna was finding Alan. I was hoping his brother or her husband might get mentioned. So was Carolyn talking to Edna? I dont know. I believe Carolyn believes she was talking to Edna.

Edna's death has released me from a huge commitment. I now have tims (and hopefully more energy) to see where I can go with this psychic exloration. It feels as if having been forced on to the path, I am now committed to it so no longer need to be forced.

The journey goes on. And it is more exiting now because I have a fellow traveller in Tony.