Listen

I haven't done much with cards or even any meditation since the weekend. I have been unmotivated and lethargic. But today I listened to Davids 'meet your guide' meditation. And from that I got the ide that a long but exciting path lies in front of me as I develop psychically.

I decided to try some card picks too. Neither tarot nor Angel oracle cards really gave me anything major. I don't think I set my intention with the tarot cards, and the oracle cads gave me 'Joy' I decided to try the Ascended masters deck and got 'Listen' That DID get my attention as I got the same card at the workshop. So I read the meaning from the book and basically it says' Listen to your guide'

It is clear if I am going to walk along this path, I need to MAKE time to listen to my guides by meditating regularly.

Spiritual development

I had a fascinating and enjoyable day yesterday. I finally got the chance to meet David Wells - who is just like he appears on TV and in his books. I knew I wanted to meet him because his books have been so helpful - but also because of all the medium's I have seen on TV he was one who radiated integrity. When he was on MH he came across as totally sincere as well as very gifted. It was as I suspected his sincerity that made him leave the show - and it is no coincidence that the show went downhill after he left. But would I have chosen to do a workshop about Past Life regression if it hadn't been my a chance to meet him? It was my third attempt because the first workshop I tried got cancelled, and the second one I was really interested in was the weekend we were coming back from Scotland. In all honesty the answer would be no. I am unsure what I believe about past lives. In some ways it makes more sense than the idea that we only have one life to get it right but I have yet to see any convincing evidence that anyone has accessed information that conclusively proves they have lived before. So why did I book it? It was so I could meet David and so Tony (who believes he has lived before) could explore this further. In the end Tony didn't go, I went alone and I had a fascinating and enjoyable day.

The first thing that made me go 'wow' was that David had copies of one of my favourite quotes from Change your Life in 7 days on the tables. 'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure....' etc and the rest. I dont know who Marianne Williamson is but that quote hit home when I first read it 4 years ago. To see it as the first thing on a workshop i wasn't sure about made me think. Rightly or wrongly I see things that loop back like that as signs that I am on the right track,

Basically the day consisted of a series of guided meditations - which David lead fantastically well. After a basic visualisation to link in and open our chakras, the first meditation lead us to the tree of life . On the way to it through a forest I saw a wolf - my power animal. This image is no great surprise and at the time I connected it with Tony. As we approached the tree a name came into my head. Not mine and I don't believe it was the name of anyone I saw in the mirror. David suggested later it could be my angelic name -which I should not reveal. In the tree of life I looked in a mirror to see who or what I would see. Initially I saw a girl in homespun with brown hair, then she turned into a black haired indian squaw. These two images kept swapping fora while then right at the end I saw a warrior I felt was a war chief.

The next exercise was to work with a partner and stare into their eyes to try and see into their soul and see if you could see past lives overlain on their face. I didn't see very well for Kate but I did get a hint of a crone like face and got the word witch. She seemed to be able to relate to that. It was what she saw for me that had me going wow. She described the war chief I had such a brief glimpse of and got the word 'thane' which would certainly fit with the time period I connected him with.

The next guided meditation was to try and connect to past relationships. This time as I walked through the forest the wolf stayed in the trees and I got the idea I needed to do this alone. But Jenny and Thomas were in the glade.This time people came out of the tree of life and we looked at them. The only two I saw clearly were an indian brave and a victorian gentleman. I got the idea the brave was the husband of the squaw and the victorian gentleman was my brother. I also got the weird idea I may have known Phil before in a past life even tho I didnt 'see' or 'recognise' Phil in either of the two figures. I was disappointed I hadn't seen things more clearly, but got the idea I wasn't ready for that yet - and that I should come back another time when I could learn more.

Oracle cards also figured in the day. We were all given a free pick of an angel card. I got angel of perfection - which basically said you can lose what is important in the search for perfection. That spoke volumes to me. David also had a deck of angel oracle cards and ascended masters (the same ones we have here) and a random pick from the angel oracle cards gave me 'listen' while the ascended masters deck gave me' twin flame'. Later on I felt moved to make another pick from the ascended masters deck and got 'listen' which made me go 'ok I get the message but what or who am I supposed to be listening to?'

The next meditation took us the akhasic records through the tree of life. David said we could just go to look at past lives or to get answers to questions about why have phobias or repeat certain destructive behaviour patterns. The journey to the akhasic temple was fascinating. We had to pick up a crystal from a granite block then see ourselves throwing it into the arctic waste . At the point where David said we could see a crystal I saw my moonstone. Using that crystal to access the akhasic records is so very appropriate.

I accessed the temple via a door decorated with 'The Sun' card from the tarot. In the hallway where objects from my past lives were displayed I saw a victorian sampler most clearly. My guide to the records was Peter.I didnt see anything momentous in my book even though I had a question - but maybe I was asking the wrong question. On the way back out as well as the sampler I saw a stone arrowhead among the objects from my past lives.

The last meditation of the day was to help us create a 'magic image' we can put on when we need particular virtues/abilities in a situation. David even specifically mentioned putting on an image before giving reiki. We were told we could pick someone we had seen from a past life, or a historical figure, or even a fictional character. Or we could just wait and see what we got. I picked the war chief character. This meditation had us in a theatre and we went up onto the stage and our chosen costume dropped onto us. Despite my best efforts to see the trappings of the war chief, what I got was a nurse from Florence Nightingale's era.

I saw this not a sign I had been a nurse at that time (although I wouldn't rule it out as she could have ben the sister of the victorian gentleman I saw) but as affirmation that healing is what I should be doing. I can put this costume on for reiki and hypnotherapy - and maybe for card readings as well.

This wasn't about psychic development. It was all about knowing and understanding yourself which is why I see this as spiritual development. I wonder if I will repeat this workshop when/if Tony decides he would like to do it after all?

Interesting

Yesterday I did some cards but couldn't meditate on them. Instead I wrote them down and took my notebook to work for me to write any thoughts in if I got time. I did get time and one of the messages I got from the cards was that I need to push my mediumship and have more faith in it. Less than 30 minutes later I found I was trsying to use my medium skills thanks to a conversation with Calire the technician - who I beleive also has mediumship skill if she could get up the nerve to deal with her abilities.

As Yvette would say 'Interesting'

My first proper afternoon as a reiki practitioner

Wow is all I can say. It went really well. Everyone I treated said they felt really relaxed at the end. A couple of pateints commented about the heat form my hands.

With one lady we both felt a breeze . I knew the lady's mother - who had been a patient I knew at the hospice - had died 6 weeks ago . The room had been breeze free up till then and I was convinced her mother was there. When the treatment was over I very tentatively if she knew about the spiritual side of reiki. As her sister used to do reiki it was a possibility. It turns out she is very much into that sort of thing. So I said I felt her mother had been there and she told me she KNEW her mother had been there - and that she had in fact seen her mother shortly after she died.

I have been told I must NOT give mediumistic messages when working with reiki. As I dont get messages of that sort it wasn't anything I felt I had to worry about too much. This has made me think. I was very careful to step out from my reiki role before I spoke - and if she had expressed no interest in the spiritual side I wouldn't have spoken at all.

A number of people took my number and may seek further (paid!) treatments from me.

I feel I took a huge step yesterday.

A very private meditation

I am not going to put all the details here - but today I did some card picks that were on the 'wow' side and then did an unusual meditation. I was focussing on my weight issues and I think I finally know who Jenny is. I thought she was a reiki guide - but somehow that never quite fitted. I think she IS something to do with my healing but I also feel now she represents my higher self - a visual image for me to keep in mind when I need to contact it - as I need to when I am dealing with food and exercise issues= particularly choices about what when and how to eat.

I will share one bit of the meditation here. I was in my temple of dreams and I saw the 3 stained glass windows behind the alter. In the middle was Christ. On the right was a slim me giving reiki . On the left was a slim me using hypnotherapy.

Tomorrow is the pamper afternoon at the hospice. the first day of my new career???

A thought provoking meditation

I meditated this morning. I made an effort to tidy and sanctify the room before I did so and had two candles burning. One by me and one in front of the mirror. In other words I made a huge effort to get myself in thr right frame of mind to meditate fruitfully.

I decided to meditate for 'guidance' I also pulled a tarot card to use as a theme and got the 7 of cups - the daydream card.

I strated off in my glade, and it was quite crowded with my guides, Mum Dad and Alan there. I wasn't sure how I felt about Alan being there so I thought 'guidance' and they all turned and pointed down the path opposite to the one I enter by. I wlaked down it and it was dark. I saw a candle flame and the light from the flame expanded until it became a door I could walk through. This is a symbol I have seen before. Then I found myself at the Temple - only this time it was full of peopel and a communion service was going on. I wnt up and took communion. Then I knelt and again asked for guidance. I realised I have lots of guidance available but I have to ask for it.

Then I thought about relaxation and my health problems and in particular my dry mouth. I relaised this is probably due to too much adrenaline so I decided to sue a McKenna style visualistion and took myself to the beach to listen to the waves.

Then the music changed (I had Sacred Woman on shuffle) and it started playing 'Moon (woman) with a backgorund sound of a stream and my immediate thought was 'Woman always giving in a stream of generosity'

I realised I need to make sure I am OK, or can't really help anyone else.

During the meditation I also focussed on my daydreams and realised at the moment I have 2 big ones. A Reiki practice and a holiday abroad. I have realised I need the holiday - whether abroad or in this country - and I probably need to focus on that. The implication is (from the cards and other things) that I am doing as much as I can to get a reiki practice.

It was the best most productive meditation I have had for some time.

This morning I feel very down - and frankly sorry for myself - which is probably the most unhelpful emotional state to be in. In fact I have been feeling down for some time now. I put it down to tiredness. I am now wondering if the tiredness was due to a developing thyroid problem. But I know spirituality is important for good mental health so this morning I decided to do a reading for me.

I used my Angel oracle card deck and my first impression when I saw the cards was that I had picked a couple of cards wrong. But as I looked at the meanings in the book I saw I hadn't. Whether it is psychic or psychological I have taken a very positive and helpful message from the cards. They were

Play, New partner, law of attraction, The ocean, Assertiveness.

My first thought was that I shouldn't have picked New Partner and The Ocean. (I am very happy with Tony and I live about as far away from the ocean as you can get in the UK) But when I looked at the deeper meanings I saw that new partner could mean I am going to meet someone by chance who may be able to help me in a business venture. Yesterday I noticed that the place doing the hypnotherapy course tomorrow also does reiki and found myself wondering if this could be another useful link for me. 'The Ocean' probably indicates the strong link I have to water anyway - but can also be advise to drink more water - which is something I have been concentrating on as part of my health routine for the past few days.

So the message I take from these cards is that I need to stop worrying and relax a bit. There may well be an opportunity for me with the college tomorrow. I need to focus o the positive (whichI am trying to do) I am right to focus in drinking more water, and I need to curb my tendency to get aggressive over bad situations. I am not sure what situation I need to assertive over but I suspect i will know it when I see it.

The other idea that springs to mind is that I want a holiday - which would enable me to play and get near the ocean. Maybe I need to get one booked. It is something I have been thinking about doing recently.

I am going to make time to meditate today. I left ot too late yesterday and I was too tired when I went to bed. So that may well be my next move today

Reconnecting with my spiritual side

I have been unconnected for a few weeks now. Tony had to have emergency surgery for appendicitis a couple of weeks ago. And then I disocoeverd in a lump in my. Well I saw it in the mirror and the thought that went across my mind was'I have a goitre - I must have a thyroid problem' Then I realised the lump was only on one side. However the doctor said it could still be my thyroid and I am currently waiting for the results of blood tests - and really hoping my initial reaction was a psychic one.

Tony's illness meant we had to pull out of Laura's course - and really anyhting spiritual has been put on the back burner. However I am making an effort to get back into meditation and using my cards and pendant.

Yesterday I went back to basics and did the Tony Stockwell spirit journey guided meditation. The cushions in the canoe were green and gold with reiki symbols. the candle falme was red, and the bird I saw was a blackbird. As this represents me, I guess this means I have made progress over the past year when I saw a seagull. This was the meditation wher I frst Thomas and got the gift of a rock whihc puzzled me so much for so long. This time I saw Peter as well as Thomas, but I couldn't see the gifts. I was trying too hard I think.

Today I haven't meditated yet - but will do se in a bit. I have however used my cards. The Healing with the fairies deck thre 2 cards out ( Inner Power and Laughter) and I picked 'Happily Ever After. I certainly need re-assurance about my inner power - and I sure could do with some laughter. I am very down - but this may be die to an underactive thyroid so I am hopeful there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hapily Ever After is a good omen that things WILL work out - both with our health issues and our spiritual work.