The High Priestess

That was my card pick this morning. I have realised my 'tell' is a roughness on the card. It is analgous to the rough/smooth feeling when using TFT to choose foods by rubbing my thumb and fore finger together.

The High Priestess is card 3 in the major arcan - and 3 is my life path number based on my birthdate.

The meaning of this card is about hidden things being revealed in due time - and with patience. That feels SO applicable at the moment.

I have realised that I am worrying too much about my meditation technique. And todays meditation was much more fruitful. Peter was there and gave me a rosewood box containing 2 crystals. A blue one and a yellow one.

The yellow crystal is a surprise, but the blue one was expected (maybe me putting it in - but I have been thinking about my third eye chakra crystal for some days so I dont think so. That thought came from somewhere.

I feel I am meant to keep my chakra crystals in a rosewood box )well a carved wooden box of some sort) Something else to look out for . Maybe its time to start going to car boot sales again - and maybe time to go as a seller? I dont think I will find 'my' box in a normal shop.

Interesting times...........

Oh wow!!

I've just got home from work and had a talk with Tony. During my rather abortive meditation this morning I thought I met Peter - who is one of Tony's guides. Tony has just told me about a message he got last night from someone called Marcus who told him Peter was leaving him to help someone else. How spooky is that!!

Also I got the idea this morning after I left for work that I might need a boost later in the day so when I got to work I sent some reiki forward in time to boost me if things got stressful at work. During the afternoon it DID get stressful - but I coped quite well. I did close my eye's to see if I could see purple - which I didn't. But I did suddenly feel really thirsty.

I guess my meditation wasn't such a failure after all. And this evening I feel surprisingly energetic. Even managed a short wii fit jog (and mt ankle feels better too)So I guess the reiki kicked in as requested.

I want to try another meditation today to see if I can get some more information about Peter and see if he IS Tony's ex guide.

Frustration

This morning my tarot pick gave me two 5's. The Five of wands fell out and I picked the 5 of Pentacles. 5 is associated with anxiety and tension according to my tarot book. That certainly describes my attempt at meditation this morning. It did not go well, I couldn't focus. I did some self healing on my Achilles tendon instead (it is playing up a bit). I saw swathes of purple with blue speckles at the start - then nothing.

The title of this entry sums up my feelings about all things psychic today.

I am carrying crystals with me today. My two meditation crystals , my rose quartz and my tigers eye. I think work is going to be very busy today. Tuesdays often are so this isn't much of a psychic intuition. But I think it is going to be frustrating with lots of problems and that's why I have been warned to carry the crystals.

I didn't sleep well last night and I suspect that is why my meditation was somewhat unsuccessful.

I am still convinced I need to get a third eye chakra crystal - and maybe a rose pyramid like Tony's - but I can't get to a shop until next week.

Visions

I had a waking vision this morning. This time it was small blackboards with letters on them. Unfortunately the surrounding patterns and the movement of the boards made reading anything impossible - but it was clearly writing.

The one crystal I am currently missing is anything for my third eye chakra. I really REALLY need one I think. I don't think I am going to see anything clearly without a crystal. The thought that I need one has been running through my head for a couple of days now.

Its interesting I got this waking vision after a day when I did far less spiritually than I had done for some time. I am going to try for a proper meditation this morning and see what information I get.

The thought just popped into my head that yesterday for the first time in months I exercised in the park rather than using the wii fit. Could this be what triggered it? I mentioned in a earlier entry that I felt I needed earthly grounding to counter my watery nature (I am pure pisces sun sign and north node)

Yesterday I came out in the chat section of Locum voice about my experiences and my tarot reading. The thread was started by someone else but it did seem like a golden opportunity to say some of the stuff I wanted to. It turns out another locum is an astrologer!! I think this is how spirit is going to enable to slowly say what I want to say rather than blasting it all off in one letter.

Getting to know me

I did the 'know thyself' tasks for my OU course and have had some interesting insights.

My tarot pick this morning was Page of Pentacle which I looked at and saw new seeds growing and thought 'It means new things are developing' The book talked about making something large and concrete out of small insignificant things and mentioned about the need for firm foundations. The sparkpeople daily reflection used the exact same words when it talked about not getting frustrated by lack of progress because things are best bult on form foundations. Sometimes the universe makes VERY sure it gets its message across.

I decided to sit and think about this in the bath. It wasn't a deep meditation - I just let my mind wander and decided to see where it took me. The first thing I noticed was I was seeing variety of colours. I think I saw every chakra colour in the correct order from base to crown. Seeing purple when I am NOT doing reiki is rare. I decided it was time for me to get more ambitious with my tarot readings. I need to do larger spreads. I decided I would do a 12 card spread for Tony for the next month. By pure chance (if anything happens by chance) I did some 5 card readings for my son. I will do a celtic cross reading for Tony in a bit.

I think now I have got to level 2 in reiki I am being told I need to use tarot as a route to open up my ability to do psychic readings which will help in my reiki - and maybe open myself up to medium ship.

Know thyself

I have no idea where this thought has come from, but I know and understand that self knowledge is the key to self development. I feel I need to put down on paper (well OK on the internet!!) what I truly know about myself. So here goes.............

I lack self confidence and this can sometimes make me act aggressively as I overcompensate.

Whenever I get and unexpected letter of phone call my initial response is always worry. I wonder what I have done wrong.

When I make a mistake I really REALLY beat myself up about it mentally.

When things go wrong I think and act as if the people affected will blame me - because I always think I could have done something differently /better to prevent the problem.

When I try something new I never think I will be any good at it.

I have difficulty letting go of an argument. I am always trying so hard to justify my viewpoint - especially if deep down I know the other person has a point.

OK so what are the positive things I can say about myself.

I am a good mother. I am so proud of the way Steve has turned out. And I am so proud of how our relationship has matured as he has matured.

I am a good pharmacist. I got told by accident on Friday that the hospital think very highly of me. It was mentioned by the agency in passing.

I am a good communicator.

I am a loyal friend

I am generous almost to the point of feeling exploited at times

I have just made a tarot pick asking about this blog post and got the 3 of swords. It is difficult to see how the meaning of that cards fits into this entry. The proper divinatory meaning is sorrow at the end of something but hope for the future. That could mean I am finally able to move beyond the sorrows of the last two years. But the two words that came into my mind were 'love' and 'thought' I think the love is the love my guides have for me. And I think the thought is the thought I need to put into knowing and understanding who I really am and what I am going to do.

The OU task I did earlier on the week was to write 10 statements beginning 'I am" and then reflect on what your thoughts about the statements were. It wasn't a coincidence I changed my mind about reading further in the book before I had finished my essay. It all fits.

I AM being prompted to e honest about myself . To really be honest about my strengths and weaknesses , to see how I can best and most successfully progress on this road.

There is no doubt my biggest weakness is my lack of belief in myself. Maybe the 'love' is the love I need to have for myself. Now there's an interesting thought.

I am being told to apply the 5 reiki principles to myself. I need to be honest, respectful and compassionate to myself as well as trying not to worry or get angry.

I need to meditate on this tomorrow.

Meditation

Now I am no longer self healing I need to get into a routine with meditation. This morning I did my tarot pock (6 wands so I decided against submitting a letter I had drafted about spirituality in the profession) I used my pendant to ask if I my chakra's are balanced (yes) Do ineed to self heal (no) do I need to carry any crystals with me (no)
In fact I AM carrying crystals. I decided to carry my meditation crystals and my pendant with me.

I did a short meditation and found myself climbing the cloud steps again and floating on a clod going in no particular direction and I got the impression it is up to me where I go.

I think the routine with the pendant is a good one to get into.

DAY 21 The final day!!!

Taking the easy way out is, well, easy. Human beings naturally stick with their normal routines because they offer feelings of security. But by staying in the same routine, you miss out on new opportunities. In 1975, a third-year student at Harvard University decided to drop out and pursue something else. The student's name was Bill Gates. He saw an opportunity and took the risk. While this doesn't mean that every dream will transform you into a billionaire, it shows that some of world's geniuses took chances to follow their dreams. If you are waiting around for your goals to just fall into your lap, it could take awhile. But your goals are achievable--if you're willing to break from the norm and cast your ship down uncharted waters.

The above popped into my mailbox from Sparkpeople. Coupled with my tarot cards for the last few days - and today's card (9 of cups the wish card) the message seems to be clear.

I am dreaming of becoming a healer. the opportunity is there and it is up to me to take that opportunity. It isn't going to fall into my lap - but it is achievable.


If I was expecting something fantastic from my final day of self healing well I was doomed to be disappointed. It wasn't spectacular - no 'wow' moment. But it was ....workmanlike is the best word I can use.

I now trust my reiki - and my guides.

No crystals today - I also trust my pendant.

I am excited at the thought of getting my certificate and being able to join the reiki federation - even if I can only join as an associate member at the moment.

I have found the discipline of morning meditation helpful. I have realised I meditate to an extent during self healing. I am positive I will keep on with that.

I am also positive I will continue to make regular use of my pendant, my crystals and tarot cards.

I have come a long LONG way since I started this blog. I am wondering where this journey will take me in the future

Day 20

I am into a routine now. I use my pendant to chose crystals to use in healing and carry with me. Today it was sacral and throat chakra crystals.

I held the crystals on the chakras and just let reiki flow between them. I saw speckles of blue towards the end of the time. Then I put the crystals on my lap and put one hand on my forehead and the other on the back of my neck. Almost immediately I started seeing purple. I ended the session soon after that and I felt really REALLY thirsty.

I let my mind wander during the healing and found myself thinking of ways to strat to use my reiki professionally. No new ideas but I don't intend to do anything about working as a practitioner for a few months anyway unless I get an opportunity I can't refuse. When it is time for me to work as a practitioner I am confident it will happen

Day 19

I almost don't know where to start with this entry!!!

My tarot pick today was the 2 of wands. I interpreted it without the book - then confirmed it from the book. A journey about to begin, and opportunities - but no clear outcome. The one symbol that hit my eye was the tower in the distance. A similar looking tower to the one that got destroyed by yesterdays card. Another bit that stood out was the risk of being a perpetual planner but never putting plans into action. It all resonated with me. I am being given a chance to put my plans into action.

Even my iPod joined in. I hit shuffle to get some music for my meditation and healing and the first track it played was called 'The journey'

I asked about crystals and got told I needed to use and carry my base chakra and solar plexus chakra crystals.

My grounding meditation was quite unusual. I always visualise myself putting on/ accepting all the gifts my guides have given me. This time I could see them hugging me as they handed over the gifts. I was aware of SUCH love from them. I think they are so happy I am finally able to REALLY follow this path. It does convince me that this change of job that is being forced on me is meant to happen. It also re-assures me that it will all work out for the best as long as I am sensible and keep my feet on the ground and take all the guidance I get

The healing was OK. No major perceptions or insights. But I was VERY thirsty at the end.

I am wondering if the base and solar plexus crystals are a warning to take care of my physical health. My spiritual and mental health are good at the moment. But physically I am tired - and the break I seem to be destined to take while I wait for Manie to find me a job could be beneficial in so many ways.


I feel very very elated after all this.

I should trust the cards and my instinct

This evening I finally got the news I sort of knew was coming which is that I am not getting a booking from UHB. So I am facing some time without work until either Manie or an agency find something for me.

This news has really unsettled me.

I decided to use my pendulum to see if this was the news The Tower was predicting - and got a very strong positive response.

I now need to think about a LOT of things - and one of those things is that I MUST trust my instincts more

Day 18

I am finding this new routine beneficial. I will be sorry when the 21 days come to an end. But I will stick to doing spiritual things in the morning rather then the evening. I will certainly keep to asking abut crystals every morning. I feel I have finally started to use my tools sensibly.

No crystals today at all. The self healing went OK. Nothing spectacular to report.

My tarot pick today was The Tower - and I find I am uneasy about the change it is predicting. I don't know why

Day 17

This morning I decided to ask if I should use any crystals in self healing, and if I should carry any crystals today. I didn't have to use any crystals in healing but was advised to carry my small green crystal (heart chakra I presume) and my tigers eye crystal. I asked if the tigers eye was for protections and got a clear positive response.

Healing went OK but was uneventful except right at the end when I started seeing purple with flashes of blue.

In the meditation I found myself walking up the cloud steps again but this time to the castle. Jonas was there and helped with the healing. I was so aware of his love for me.

When I got dressed for work I realised I had chosen to wear pink and green. I am wondering if I had decided before I did any psychic stuff - but they are of course heart chakra colours.

Work was bust and potentially very stressful. Although I got tired, I didn't get stressed - which normally I would have done on a dya like today. Whether that is thanks to the crystal or psychosomatic I have no idea - but don't care!!

My tarot today was the Knight of pentacles. I interpreted it without loooking in the book then checked in the book and was happy with what I had done. the key message from the card is 'patience' And I needed patience to cope at work today. Again maybe psychosomatic - but I don't care.

Day 16

I have self healed today - but it was rather minor in comparison to my meditation. In fact I think I may have self healed during the meditation and so didnt need to much when I did the formal self healing.

I did my normal tarot pick and got The World. I looked at it and got the word completion- which is one the official divinatory meanings in the book. But I didnt have a clue about what is or will be completed. But I got a sense of immediacy about it. It has been completed.

I got the strong feeling I should meditate about it - and see what I could find out about Ariel and Lilith.

I did an unusual meditation. I saw myself walking from the house to the park, then I sat on one of the benches near the hedge and grounded. Then I found myself walking up cloud steps into the air and I ended up in the temple of dreams.

I walked up to the alter and saw the stained glass window behind it showed an archetypal angel flying through the air with wings and trumpet. I felt this was Ariel and asked where Lilith was. I realised Ariel's hand was pointing to a smaller pane of the window where I could see a female winged figure cuddling a baby. Then I went up into the pulpit and saw a closed bible with The World card on it. At this point I started seeing purple on my eyelids. This is unusual during meditation. The figure on the card is wearing purple sashes and the book says purple is the colour of wisdom. I got the idea I have now GOT the wisdom I need to move on.


I asked how long the next phase would be and saw a gold 5 embossed on the cover of the bible. This is the same information Tony got of course.


I am reassured now about Lilith - although a bit puzzled. The fertility goddess image is so closely linked to Krystal I would have thought Lilith would be MY guardian not Tony's. But maybe this is yet another indication that we will work best as a team.

I used my pendant to find out about crystals and got told to use my crown chakra cystal during the healing. But I don't need to carry any crystals with me today -and according to the pendulum my chakras and balanced

I keep thinking about writing a piece for the PJ about spirituality and the profession. I am wondering if Ariel's trumpet is an indication that I am supposed to do something like that. I need to think very carefully about it - and maybe try doing a reading to give me some more guidance.

Day 15

I used the pendant to pick crystals to use during healing and to carry with me during the day. The two it picked for the self healing were base chakra and a large green crystal which I presume is heart chakra. The two to carry with me are solar plexus and the smaller green crystal -which I also assume is heart chakra.

The healing session went OK. Nothing spectacular. But Tony got some information while I was healing. He saw a guardian angel and got the name Ariel. Apparently Ariel is MY guardian angel. He was also told HE had a guardian angel called Lilith.

He also got confirmation that I am on the right path with reiki and the number 5. I think this is to do with the 5 months I need to wait before I can join the UK reiki federation. It needs to be a year from your first attunement - which was on August 29th 2009. He also picked up something about certificates. Now Tony knew nothing about me joining the reiki federation or about the fact that next time I see Sue I will get a certificate.

Day 14

This morning I decided to use my pendulum to help me chose which (if any) crystals I needed to use in my self healing. I can almost hear my guides sighing with relief as I finally get the idea about how to marry together the tools I have to use.

Anyway it picked my solar plexus and crown crystals. I often use the position with one hand on my head and the other on my abdomen. So I held the crystals against those positions. I ended up with the crystals in my hands and with my hands on the sacral chakra position - because that is the other position I often use to reach my two problem areas. My bowel and my back. In that position I started to see purple and a greyish/yellowish colour rotation alternately.

I suspect my solar plexus chakra is still a bit out of sorts and I need to work on it.

I felt very VERY thirsty towards the end of the session - the worst I have ever experienced it.

I have use the my pendulum to see if I should carry any of my crystals on me today. And it picked the same two as for the healing.

My tarot pick today was 3 pentacles - but the 9 of swords fell out as well. Slow and steady progress in business matters combined with the prod that you may be having nightmares - but they are not real is very very apt for me at the moment. Combined with the continual positive readings from Tony it is a comforting feeling.

Yesterday afternoon after I sent to text to Tony saying I had had no news from the agency and found myself thinking about what his reaction would be and I was convinced he would be doing something related to that to help me. When I got home I asked him what he had done - and he had done another reading for me to check the omen's were still good. I was POSITIVE he had done something. Who says telepathy doesn't exist!!

A cosmic message??

"Setting goals is easy. The tough part is putting time and hard work into realizing those dreams. The energy you are willing to put forth to reach your dreams is directly related to the probability of achieving them. Above all, be patient with the situation and with yourself. Don't lose your way by being blinded by disappointment, frustrations, and failures. Ponder the goals in your life and the obstacles you might face. Make appropriate plans to overcome those roadblocks even before they occur. Think of the reward of reflecting on a goal you have reached, rather than one you failed to see through. Most big dreams involve big effort!"

How strange I should get this into my mailbox on the day I spoke to my headhunter and said ' working as a hospital locum isn't going to get me where I want to go'

Day 13

Based on yesterdays session I decided to try and focus my self healing on my solar plexus chakra so I had my aolar plexus crystal on me as I channeled reiki. I saw specks of purple but mainly I saw red. I was aware of slow rotation - but not much. I got VERY thirsty

When I got home yesterday Tony told me about something he had done the evening before I got my message about my chakras. He meditated about the large crystal sphere he had been drawn to and decided to hold it to each of is chakras. How strange that a few hours later I was a;though thinking about my chakras. A year ago I would have said the whole chakra thing was nonsense!

I have read that one way of balancing chakras is to wear the appropriate colour. I dont possess anything yellow that I can wear at the moment. But before I thought about I did pick a flame orange blouse to wear to work yesterday. Its more yellow than red IMO. Having realised that, I am wearing it again today. I will also try to find a way to keep my yellow crystal with me.

My tarot pick today was The Sun. I hope this is a harbinger of good news. I am still waiting to hear from the agency. Tony did a reading for me last night and it was incredibly positive.

I had a waking vision today. This time I saw complete figures with faces. None of them stayed in my vision for very long but one of them looked distinctly unpleasant. These visions are getting clearer and more complex all the time. I hope it is a signal that I may start to see things more clearly.

I need to work on my third eye chakra.

Day 12

My preparation for todays self healing was much calmer and better -but I didnt use the crystals. The session went OK. Didnt experience much though. My legs were very tingly and I got the funny idea I was drawing reiki from the earth. I always visualise it coming down through my 8th Chakra.

I ended up with my hands on every chakra - and I feel I need to work on my chakras. Are the unbalanced?

One tarot card fell out today - 4 of wands. As I ave a good chance of getting a new booking I guess this was a celebration about that. It may also be a sign I will get the booking and that it is good news on the whole. But still not where I want to be - and maybe not where I am meant to be? This card isnt undiluted celebration. I still did a pick and got the 7 of wands. Is today going to be busy? Is it a sign the booking at UHB may be busy and harder than I think?

Later
Just asked my pendant and my solar plexus and third eye chakras need working on. But all my chakras are open.

Day 11

I was rushed this morning. As a result I did a very short preparation for my self healing. I really didn't see or feel much of anything during the session.

But my knightly card from yesterday (Knight of pentacles) may have been to warn me that I do need patience and things will happen in their own time. I think I am being shown how important god preparation is for reiki - and indeed many things in life!

My card this morning - which like yesterday picked itself during the shuffle by turning the wrong way- was Star - which is always a hopeful card.

I am half way through the self healing. One bad day isn't a problem

Day 10

Meditation and self healing went well this morning. As usual I saw colours when was channeling reiki. The predominate colour was purple but I got quite a lot of bright blue speckles. But it was the movement of the colour that was interesting. Normally I get a sort of eye effect. This time I got a marked 'lighthouse' effect with a wedge of colour rotating clockwise round a grey central point. It also rotated anti-clockwise for a short time. Then towards the end the whole of my field of vision was filled with purple that I could see was spinning. The thought that immediately came into my head was a spinning chakra.



My legs felt very tingly during the session but that did subside quite quickly.

My tarot pick for the day was a card that fell out just after I spoke my request for some guidance for today. It fell out so purposefully! Having looked at the card (this knight isn't rushing anywhere) and read the book I am wondering if today is going to be busy and I will need this knights qualities to cope.

Day 9

Lat night we went on a ghost hunt at Dudley castle. All I can say is 'wow' Tony had some amazing experiences. I also picked up on some accurate information so I feel it was successful for me as well.

My self healing this morning also went well. Last night was good for my psychic development - but bad for my back. So as well as CKR and SHK I used HSZSN at the start of the self healing. I couldn't draw it on my back but I did set the intention clearly.

I saw LOTS of purple some green some bright blue and a grey/yellow colour. It was probably the most colourful self healing reiki session I have had.At one point I put my hands on my back and that was when it got quite colourful.

I bought some more crystal last night so I kept the bag of crystals on my lap during the healing hoping to attune them.

Tony found a dowsing pendant last night. I thought I knew which one he should pick - and he picked it!!

I have realised I should use my pendant to get information about which crystals to use and about my chakras to help balancing them. I can't believe I didn't realise that before. As Homer would say doh!!

My tarot card today was the devil. An opportunity to be free of fear and release positive energy. Although last night was spectacular for Tony - it clearly was significant for me because I did get confirmation of a name I picked up . The psychic had picked up the SAME name on a previous visit. I think (know!) my fear of failure is holding me back. I need to release that and just let it happen

Day 8

The healing well went this morning. I was able to ground quite well. I used ommmm to open up my chakras as well.

I basically sat with my hands on my abdomen and decided reiki would go where it was needed. Towards the end I moved my hands so one was on my head and the other on my abdomen. That triggered some purple waves.

I became aware during the session of the love my guides feel for me. I think they were sending me approval for the end of my first week of self healing.

My tarot card today is Justice The major arcana are still following me it seems.

She has a neutral expression on her face - no emotion. She sits in front of a purple curtain - backing up her authority. The owl at her side represents wisdom I guess. The curtain is a flimsy barrier.

Reading the book it seems purple is the colour of wisdom. her red cloak is for passion and purpose and her green dress for healing and love and together they give balance.

The true aim of justice is to achieve fairness and equality - keep everything in balance. Always difficult to do but we must keep striving.

I have no idea if this card may relate to today at all - but it feels very much as if it is relevant for my life.

Why I am giving today's tarot pick such relevance I have no idea but it feels right to record all this today in the blog rather than my notebook.

really looking forward to the ghost hunt tonight.!!

Day 7

This morning has been everything yesterday morning was not. Productive and calm. It was made easier by the fact that I didn't attempt anything like a full work out - but I have had time to do other chores so getting the balance between my physical and spiritual needs clearly isn't impossible. I just have to focus on what is important

I was able to ground and meditate well today - although I kept thinking about an idea that popped into my head earlier about writing something for my professional journal about how medicine is as much art as science. However when I managed to push that to the back of my mind the self healing session went OK. I used the new purple/red crystal which I feel is for the base chakra. As I had a massage yesterday for my sciatica I guess it isn't too surprising that my base chakra needs some help.

I was quite content today to just sit with my hands on my abdomen and trust reiki to do what it needs. I didn't see or sense much - although at one point my hands got a bit tingly.

I finished feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead.

Tony ad a huge 'wow' moment yesterday. He had been watching a psychic channel and he kept getting a name into his head along with a lot of third eye chakra activity. So he finally texted through the name without actually saying who he thought the message was for.

His impression was that it was for the non psychic presenter and that it was her uncle coming through. The psychic when given the name also said it was for the presenter and that it was a relative trying to contact her.

Tony was blown away by that - and I am so pleased for him to get some verification.

A treatment for someone else

I gave a treatment today to a rend of mine. It went well. I got some strange feelings tho. Normally I get very tingley hands. But this time my hands went cold. At one point S reported their knee felt hot - but m hand whihc was inches from the knee felt cold. It felt as if the air between my hand and the knee was very cold as well

At another point I was seeing blue - which is unusual for me although I saw blue a couple of times during the treatment. When I commented on this S (who has experienced reiki before and normally sees purple) said 'I'm glad you said that because I'm seeing blue'

I feel it went very well.

Day 6

This morning if it could wrong it did. As a result I was grumpy and a bit bit rushed when I did my self healing. Not much to my surprise I don't have anything much to report. Didn't see feel or experience much. Being honest I found it difficult to focus. My mind kept wandering.

But I DID it and I feel a bit calmer so I am sure it has helped.

But there is a big lesson in this for me - and I have learned it. I didn't stick to me plan to give meditation and reiki priority in the mornings. I MUST do that for the rest of the 21 days AT LEAST.

Day 5

A good meditation / self healing session. I made a blind pick of my chakra crystals again and this time picked the sacral crystal. Interesting as my main problems at the moment are physically in the area of the sacrum (my back and a touch of IBS)

My legs felt really full of energy again - the way they did when I was going the chakra opening exercise with Sue.

I saw little tiny of flashes of purple at times during the session.

Nothing much to report

Yesterday as I was approaching my car to go home after work I saw what I am almost certain was an optical illusion that focussed my attention on something ion the car that from that distance looked like a cigarette. But for a moment I could ave sworn there was a man sitting in the driving seat of my car smoking. I am 99% convinced it was an illusion and I was matrixing to 'see' the man - but I am not sure. I hav made that approach before without that happening and I would not be expecting to see anyone in my car. Matrixing normally happens when you make something random fit into what you are expecting/hoping to see.

Day 4

Today is the first day of my new 'back to work' regime. I have decided to ive meditation my priority in the mornings - and do my self healing in the mornings too. It means I have to do more of my exercises after work rather then before - but as long as I fit it all in it doesn't matter.

My meditation and self healing went well. My routine is to recite the reiki principles, then the Lord's prayer. then I ground and then I do the self healing.

As I have acquired chakra crystals I have also decided to use crystals in the self healing. Today I felt drawn to the solar plexus crystal.

I really felt energy going into my legs. It could be me 'earthing' myself - but I now wonder if it is keeping my legs fit for all this training and for the Race for Life? Nice thought

I started off with my hands on forehead and the back of the neck, but I ended up with my hands over the solar plexus chakra and with my hands in that position I started to see purple again. The purple seems to an affirmation that I have got it right. So I tink what I was being told was that in self healing unless I have a specific issue I just need to keep my hands on the solar plexus chakra. It is easy enough to visualise reiki going in the middle and spreading out up and down through the chakra's.

I finished my self healing feeling both hungry and thirsty. This was a major help as I hadn't really been hungry before but didnt want to eat when I wasn't hungry simply to make sure I could get through until lunchtime. The reiki sorted that problem out for me!!

My tarot pick today was the Ace of Pentacles. Yesterday Tony drew a random unicorn card and got 'unexpected gift' I wonder if the two could be linked?

Day 3

This morning I did a very structured meditation/prayer session. I went through the reiki principles, said the Lords prayer and then prayed for specific people. One of the people I prayed for was the young boy who has been kidnapped in pakistan. As I prayed for him I remembered how I had tried to send Penny to him - but decided she couldn't find him to help him. As I thought about where he was I got a picture in my mind of a very generic asian street - and a man dressed in black asian costume - with a scarf wound round his face. he was carrying a gun. He looked like a generic taliban fighter I guess. I have no idea of this was me imagining or me responding to something. There is no hint the taliban is involved in any way with this kidnapping.

But I can't get that image out of my head. It was VERY clear and VERY unexpected.

Having prayed I grounded -but this time in my 'safe glade' I also made a point of visualising all my guides giving me all the gifts. I realised that the sword I have visualised - because Beth used it in her grounding meditation - is a gift from Claire -who I beleive is my gatekeeper.

The actual self healing went OK. I got the feeling I was pulling reiki up from the ground although I normally visualise it as white light coming in trough my crown chakra. I got the thought that I needed some earthiness to balance my basic wateryness. (I am a pisces after all)

I am thinking of sending myself reiki ahead to help me cope at work tomorrow. I have the feeling tomorrow could be an emotional day.

Day 2 self healing

I have decided to do my self healing in the mornings when I am less tired. This means I may have to re-arrange my morning routine to allow the 30 minutes I need but this is important.

This morning I did a combined meditation and self healing. I tried to find out more about Claire - and this time I saw her in 1940's uniform and got the impression she was in the RAF. I saw her petting Penny - and I think she may look after Penny - or may have had a dog herself.

The Jonas came and took me to the castle - and I got the feeling that is where I need to be to do my self healing.

I saw purple during the session - and green. I also omm'd to open up my crown and third eye's chakra's before beginning the session. I actively tried to concentrate on what I was feeling in my chakra's during the session.

I got the feeling my heart chakra is blocked - so I used my green crystal during the healing - at one point focussing reiki through the crystal. I am alos carrying the green crystal with me to attune it to me.

Separate to the self healing I have received confirmation that I need to study Kabala, and probably numerology as well.

I have also had an insight into an experience I had during one of my first reiki sessions on one of my friends. I saw total black when I put my hands on the friends head during the session. Since black is the absence of any colour - I am wondering if his chakra's were all blocked. After the session he experienced a number of major improvements in his life - and is now a confirmed reiki fan. I am wondering if I helped to unblock his chakra's.

I need to pracice sensing and balancing my chakra's

21 days of self healing again. Day 1

I had my second attunment today and it was a very interesting and moving day. Before I went today something told me it could get emotional - so I decided to try and send some reiki to the future (I set it for when I was being attuned I thought) to support me if I DID get emotional. And it did - but not during the attunement.

Sue took me through a couple of exercise to open my chakra's. The first one was just an exercise to help me feel them one by one. Then she played a guided meditation that uses sounds to open up the chakra's - then having opened them it took us to a 'serene place' to meet your spirit. In the final section the one word that came into my mind was 'love' and I realised my spirit guides were my guides because they love me and I am lovable. This was quite emotional. At the same time I started seeing vivid purple. It was when I was talking to Sue afterwards that I realised the reiki I had sent earlier in the day had kicked in. So although I felt emotional - I didnt actually cry.

The actualy attunement was almost ordinary. I didnt see or sense anyhting that made me go wow. But I had my 'wow' moment earlier during the meditation.

I approached today in a mood of 'can do' not 'Can I do it' I have realised I need to trsut spirit. They are with me and they will help me. I just relxed and didn't over think - and didnt try too hard. And it all went like a dream

I have done my first self healing session. I saw some amzing colours. For the first time ever I saw a brilliant bluey green colour. And towards the end of the session I again saw purple.

I started the session feeling very tired. In fact I deliberately did it early because I knew I would be too tired to do it properly if I did it when I went to bed. However I now feel much more energetic.

Reiki level two

Today I will be getting my seconf level reiki attunement. I am looking forward to it and wondering what surprises it will spring on me.

Last time Sue told me several times to stop trying so hard, not to overthink things, to just let it happen. I have realised that is advice I need in the rest of my life as well. I have realised because I always start out with the expectation of failure, I put a lot of effort into everything - work relationships, studying, meditation - and it doesn't always help.

This is an interesting insight because one of the common threads running through everything I have read - inlcduing Paul McKenna is the phrase ' know thyself' So much of what David Wells said in his book matched things Paul McKenna told me in his! And the Qabala is based on 'know thyself. I do feel I am being pulled to study it.


I do feel the insight I have gained about why I put so much effort into everything is a fascinating breakthrough i some ways. I feel I have learned something very important about myself. Now all I need to do is act on it - starting with todays session with Sue


On a separate note Tony has come up with some really fascinating stuff using automatic writing and drawing. It seems we share a spirit guide - Claire, and that she may have lived somewhree nearby. Interestingly he drew a flower for no apparent reason. Yesterday when we went shoping I asked him to pick something for me that he thoguht I would look good in - and he picked a couple of tops. It wasnt until last night that I really looked at the pattern on one of them and realised it bore a startling resemblence to the flower he had drawn while meditating. I have no idea what it means - if it means anything at all! But I am recording it anyway

where am I going?

At the moment I seem to be dabbling in so many things. Reiki is the main one, but I am also doing tarot, and Sue insists I AM a medium even tho i dont think I am.

To be honest I haven't been doing much lately. We SHOULD be in Scotland - but due to the weather and Steve being ill (I spent 2 hours in A and E with him Thursday morning) we haven't gone. I've been gutted about not going away and it has taken some of my focus away I think. But Tony gave me a copy of David Well's Psychic Secrets for my birthday and reading that (plus some other apparently events) has given me the impetus I needed.

On Sunday night as we were on our way home from a Dr Who game, Tony mentioned an old character from one of our games - Claire Feran - who was played as a typical teenager. Then yesterday Tony showed me some automatic writing he had done which clearly seemed to say 'Claire Sally guide' I suggested that having been discussing Claire the day before had put the name into his mind.

Today I was reading David's book and being inspired to get back on track decided I would meditate for the first time in a few days. I had just been reading the bit in the book where David talks about different spirit guides - and he included a description of gatekeepers. So I set my intention to find out about Claire and the thought that popped into my head was that she was a biker - possibly a hell's angel - and that she is my gatekeeper.

OK the sceptic would say I was being influenced by the book just as Tony has been influenced by our discussion about Claire Feran. But I believe your subconscious picks up signals like that and when you meditate or get on touch with your subconscious in the right way you can put together these things to get the correct message - just as when I picked up on Sue's fertility problems because I happened to notice a packet of tampax in her bathroom.

Reading Davids book took me back 3 and a half years -because he was telling me the same sorts of things Paul McKenna told me in CYLI7D. I take that as confirmiaton that I am on the right track. He also said a lot of things Sue has said about not trying to hard and trusting my instincts.

I want to re-read that book, try some of his guided meditations and re-read his other book as well. I also want to learn about Qaballah.

I do feel re-inspired today - and I a looking forward to my second reiki attunment on Saturday.

One thing I also need to record is that I think I may MAY possibly be starting to see aura's. Of course that could just be my imagination.

I am also wondering if I have found the reason for that gnome vision. I am wondering if it is a symbol of earth sent to show me I need to keep earth elements in my life to keep myself balanced.

Again this is something I have picked up from David's book.