seeing things

I 'saw' things again this morning. 2 days in a row is unheard of. This time it was a womans face and then a gnome in a tree. Now this could be an earth reference - or could be influenced by the fact that QI had a question about garden gnomes. But in my defence when my 'dreams' aee influenced by my activities it is normally something I have seen or heard a LOT during the day. And although I used the word dream - I absolutely know I was awake. Oh I also saw writing - but couldn't read it - I think it was just a jumble of letters but it sort of scrolled up before my eyes and it scrolled a bit too fast.

I meditated with that crystal in my hand again last night and it seemed quite effective. I took myself back to the place Allegra used on Saturday. This time my rom was filled with red furnishings and there was a black bound book in there - but the book was locked. Jonas was sitting behind a desk. I tried to look ot of the window but couldnt see what was out there. I then experimented with automatic writing - but all I got was scribbles.

Psychic circle and other things

I went to the circle yesterday and it was very interesting. Jenny Allegra and Laura (my first reiki patient at Sue's) were there Allegra and Jenny were disappointed Tony didnt go with me. Allegra told me she had been told she would have 8 in her circle including 1 man. She is convinced Tony is the man. Well time will tell. I am still not sure yet I am a permananent member of the circle. It is rather more travelling than I really want to do.

There was much interest in my story about why we ended up buying the cat figurine - and my quicl tarot reading for Tony. All were agreed 3 major arcana cards is a BIG event.

We did a meditation guided by Allegra then basically recounted what we saw and discussed the significance. Compared with the others ,what I saw was as normal pretty unspectacular but I did see a lot of colours - mainly red and I realised this was probably significant. Allegra said she thought it is becasue I am basically an earth person. This would also explain my fascination with crystals. And Penny could be my earth guide. According to Allegra there are elemantal guides as well as spirit guides. Allegra does come out with some stuff that I am not sure about - but she clearly beleives it all and this has come from her own experience of her gift. Even though I have a real porblem beleiving in elemental guides - there could still be some message for me that I need to hear so I am not going to ignore it just becasue her world view is different to mine.

I the discussion afterwards I found I could often add something to what one of the others said. If soneone said something and an idea immediately popped into my mind I decided to speak out. And what I said did seem to hit the mark . I think that may define my role in readings. I will give clarification of what others sense.

During the discussion on my meditation Jenny said she saw me sitting on a rock (and mimicked the pose I use when sitting in my chair) and basically said not to worry too much the messages will come. I lay down during the meditation Allegra guided so Jenny hadn't seen me in my usual pose. I held the white crystal during the meditation and I think that is the right thing for me to. If I am an 'earth' person' that could be why Thomas (my down to earth practical guide' offered me the rock.

Allegra told us about a shadow she has started seeing that she thinks is the same shadow figure she saw when she was a teenager. We discussed it and together advised Allegra that she needs to communicate with this spirit, that it has appeared now because now she CAN communicate with it - but didn't have the skills to do so earlier. Jenny also said it is an ancestor of hers and she needs to put something right.

I decided to meditate about Allegra's shadow and see if my guides could give me any insight. the only thing that happened was I got a pian in my right arm - so I will tell Allegra I think he may have been wounded in a battle in his right arm.

Allegra told me I may ave a fourth guide a victorian American gentleman. She got the name Eli - but said she wasn't sure. Jenny was definite he is Elijah. I will wait with interest to see if he appears.

This morning as I lay trying to snatch a little more sleep - and failing I started seeing things on my eyelids again - only this time it was in shades of grey - but this time I really could see faces. I am positive I was awake but have decided it doesn't matter if it was a dream. I am remembering what I see. I didnt see any faces and think it was one of my guides - but it could have been.

I do regard that as a sign that I am making progress.

Reiki treatment for my son

I discovered it is very inhibiting treating someone when you are very inhibited about touching them in certain places. I felt it would be impossible to touch Steve below the waist. But he remined me about his knee - and as soon as I touched it I felt tingling going on to the back of hand. Memo to self - do NOT let silly things put you off doing what you need to do. I found myself looking at his legs several times - but every time decided I didnt need to work on his legs because I didnt want to touch him.

This was an interesting treatment because I didnt feel I was treating anything physical . His main problem at the moment is stress due to his studies. So I started on his head then moved to his shoulders. This was when the defining aspect of his treatment started - muscle twitching. He is a real fidget naturally anyway - he is never still so I guess this didnt surprise me when I thought about it. Also muscle twitiching is one of the things that happens to me when I am self healing.

Most of the time I was treating him I just had the normal tingle in my hands. The only time this got to the point where it went up the back of my hands was when I was treating his chest, and when I was treating his knee. He has asthma and years ago he hurt his knee and was off school for weeks but no cuase was ever found. Both his chest and knee gave me severe tingling. In the end I decided I needed to concentrate on his head and got his to sit up. I saw red - which eventually chnaged to greeny blue. I took this to mean I had done enough at that time. He reported feeling light headed duirng the treatment and afterwards. I feel he needs regular short sessions while he is so stressed. He is quite happy with that idea because I will just treat his head so it will only take 15 minutes or so.

I have just arranged a session for another friend on Thursday.

Practice practice practice

I really didn't attempt to meditate properly while I was on holiday - and I paid and am paying the price in two ways. First I am very down - far more so than I usually am when a holiday. Second my meditations since I got back have been very difficult.

I have forgotten how to open up properly I think. I also wonder if I am too reliant on the candle and incense ritual. I didnt really try to meditate while I was away because I couldn't have candles and incense. I felt I wouldn't be meditating 'properly' whatever that mean.

I did a short reiki self healing last night - which felt useless. This morning I meditated for 15 minutes - and really saw and felt nothing. However I think that is because I am out of practice with relaxing and opening up. Every psychic development manual recommends daily meditation. I am basically out of practice. I am now re-assured that I will start to feel and see more once I am back into the daily routine. And as Tony has just reminded it is unreasonable to expect thungs to happen every time. Things will happen when it is necessary. And he has NO idea what I am blogging about either!

I have some reiki sessions planned. Steve on Tuesday, Rachel on Thursday. I may offer Tony another session.

Just because I have learned to open up to the unseen things around us I realise that doesn't absolve me of the necessity to work and put in effort in so I can receive and use the messages /help I get. It isnt magic that just happens - it is a skill that needs to be practised.

I also need to remember it comes from within me - and that external things are NOT necessary. Its not just practice I need - its faith that I CAN do it.

I now own

a deck of Tarot cards. And Tony owns a crystal pyramid that we spotted in a shop in St Ives. I also have a white crystal that tugged at me because it reminded me of the rock Thomas gave me. Go figure

I looked through the tarot deck to see if any card jumped out at me - and the 9 of pentacles did. When I read the divination meaning in the book that cam with the deck, it seemed very right for me - and very very positive. So I think I did the right thing buying the cards

One of those 'wow' moments

This morning we had our day more or less planned out. A visit to a maritme museum at a nearby town. For some reason I decided to put my dowsing crystal in my bag .(it had been in the bedside drawer in the hotel since we got down here)

Our plans went totally awry when we found the museum was closed for the season. So we ended up at a large market. One of the stalls was a new age shop which we browsed with enthusiasm. We ledt the shop and went for a cup of coffee. While we were drinking Tony said his hand started tingling while he was looking in a case of egyption type things in the shop. I said there must be something in the cabinet he was emant to have. Then I got my pendant out (why did I have it with me??) and asked if there was something in the cabinet - and got a strong positive response. So we went back. In the cabinet I spotted a garish looking pyrtamid - and reminded Tony his symbol from his guide was a pyramid. So he started browsing other pyramids on a different shelf. Then said he felt drawn to a cat. This cat was next to the garish looking pyramid I had spotted. So he picked the cat up - and his hand stopped tingling. he put the cat BACK and it started tingling again. So he know has the cat. Neither of us have any idea WHY or what it means.

Tony looked at a number of dowsing crystals - but didn't feel drawn to any of them. I wonder if he doesn't need one because I have one.

It was a 'wiow' for both us. Tony for the obvious reason - and me because of that fact I had the pendant with me when it was needed - and got such a clear response

Making sense of the symbols

I only did a short meditation this morning but I feel it was quite productive.

I am now quite sure the rock that Thomas gave me is the same rock I visualize in my grounding /protective meditation.The cloak was always a gift from Jenny. I now link the sword of my grounding/protective visualization to Jonas.

Thomas represents my practical side - hence the link to the grounding symbol.

Jenny represents my healing side - and the cloak is protective against negative energies.

Jonas represents my spiritual /religious side. The sword is a christian symbol - think of the crusaders - and I have always lnked it to the cross I wear in memory of Mum. The sword protects against evil . The first time I used it was in the guided meditation at Stourbridge. The image Beth used was the shiny blade reflecting away evil. I have always seen the religious symbolism in that - even though Beth is clearly druidic in belief.

'Know thyself' is the core of all major religions. It is also the core of CYLI7D whihc was the real starting point of this journey. I think I need to know - and more importantly accept myself before I can make progress with my psychic development.

I think I need to be practical to make progress - despite the feeling that my practical/logical side is holding me back. I am who I am. If I am to make progress I will only do so when all three aspects of me are balanced.

I am sure it is no coincidence that I feel dissatisfied when my pharmacy work is too much paperwork and not enough patient facing. My healer side isn't being used.

I do feel I have gained useful insights this morning

A message for me??

Are you afraid to try or are you afraid to fail?

A well-lived life is not for the timid. The world was never meant to be approached with extra caution and fear of making mistakes. Kids know that you have to jump in feet first and be willing to take some lumps on the head if you're going to have any fun. When did we stop trying new things? Why did we stop taking risks? In large part, we're afraid of messing up. We've settled into our comfort zones and don't want to look like a fool to ourselves or others. What's the price we pay for our pursuit of perfection? No growth, no sense of discovery, few real experiences. The sacrifice isn't worth it. Are there points in your life that you wish you could have back because you didn't pursue an idea or a new interest? Those chances are gone forever--but you'll have more in the future to take full advantage of. It's been said that most people don't learn much that's new past their 20s. That's an awful long time to stay stagnant. The only mistake you should be afraid to make is not trying.

Meditation

I decided to go back to basics with meditation and I re-read Soraya's exercises. I meditated yetsreday trying hard to focus on my third eye. I still feel what I visualise/imagine during meditation is still driven by my concious brain too much - but yesterday I did get a flash of a very foreign looking building. Middle eatern with a tower on one end. I am positive I didnt put that in conciously. There are other things I have picked up during my meditations that I dont think I conciously put there - the rock for one. And why I should have knelt to Jonas. So I do think I am picking up genuine stuff. I just need to practise.

Very weird

This morning I had a very strange meditation. I grounded, then thought I'd seeif Thomas was aprund. he duly appeared and I asked him where he was from. i got a picture of the tower of london in my mind so I guess the answer is London. i then asked him about Jonas.....and Jonas appeared. In my visualization I then knelt down in front of him. He immediately lifted me back to my feet again - bt I was so surprised I mentally ran away.

I have NO idea about this at all. Answers on a postcard please to............

The monk

Last nights meditation was interesting but difficult. I had to trry and consciously let my mind free. In the end I got the idea that the monk was in the house I visited with my guides - in the room at the end of the corridor. So I went in and as I opened the door he pulled his hood down and I could see he had light hair. I think his name is Jonas - the name just came to me as I was watching TV last night.

I have the idea he is there to help me open up more so I become more receptive and aware of spirit. Why a monk? Well I have always put my psychic work in my religious frame. Also of course one of my favourite characters from fiction is the psychic monk Jon Darrow. Jon ? Jonas? Hmm. I do know Jonas looks nothing like Jon Darrow.

I have the feeling it could be very interesting for Tony and I to meditate together. Tony is prepared to try it so maybe we will do so this weekend.

I found myself thinking about Allegra's tarot reading last night. She predicted that I am going to get help from a man who is ' a bit smitten' with me, but we will be nothing but good friends, a bit geeky, and she saw him wearing a white coat so she thinks it could be one of my work colleagues.

I found myself last night wondering about Rob All rolepayers are a bit geeky. And he DID work at a hospital. And he is a LOT more chatty to me now than he used to be.I do feel he is more of a friend now than I used to. At one time I felt he actively disliked me. And he has this unexpected interest in the paranormal. I dont think he is 'smiten' with me - but probably like all male roleplayers without a girfriend he wishes he could find someone LIKE me to share their interest. I am probably WAY off the mark - but am recording it anyway.

Water!!

I have been very thirsty today. I am wondering if this is a side effect of my reiki session yesterday.

One intersting development is that Tony saw the monk again in his night time meditation. So he asked the monk if he was there for HIM and got the answer 'No' . So tonight I must see if he appears in MY meditation and/or ask Thomas if he knows anything about this monk. Since I haven't yet worked out how to ask questions in my meditation this could be challenging.

Another reiki treatment

I have just given Tony a reiki treatment. I was quite surprised at the results. Initially he didn't seem to be feeling anything but he did report feeling heat on his body and that my hands felt hot. But he started seeing things. A Monk, his spirit guide Sarah, and then a victorian lady with a book, he got the letter J with her so I am wondering if he was seeing Jenny my reiki guide.

I didn't see or sense anything much unusual although I did get extreme tingling in a couple of places. As I know Tony very well I think I know what it was I picking up. And that means I will get some idea if things have changed.

All in all I feel happy with the treatment . I have aslo been giving our cat TC 5 minute treatments (when he will stay still!)

The pendant

I did some succesful exercises with the pendant tonight - although I have realsied I need to be very clear in what I ask the pendant to do. I am getting the confidence to beleive the pendant WILL give me help if I ask in the right way.

I decided to use the pendant to ask about my chakra's Am I surprised at the answer that my third eye and crown chakra's need attention? Not really whihc means the result could be false because I expected that result. I might try asking about Tony's chakra's and see what answer I get

Pendant practise

I got good results yesterday with the pendant including finding the one red card mixed with 9 black ones. It did it at the first attempt! I tried prediting what time Richard would arrive and it didnt work - but to be honest prediction is a dicey business. I dont think I have the pendant to predict things, I think I have the pendant to discover things.

Last night I used the shuffle function to let the iPod pick my meditation track. It chose temple of dreams so my meditation saw my imagining Thomas taking me to temple of dreams on a cloud in the sky and I imagined all my dreams for my future using my abilities. I didnt get any answers or guidance - but maybe I need to be clear about what I really want to DO with my abilities before I can actually make progress. I need to know where I am going before I can start the journey.

Something to think about.

I asked for Thomas to try and enter my dreams. I have the idea that when I am asleep my logical side is shut down and I will be more receptive to hear my guides. I didnt get a message that I am aware of - but an old friend appeared in my dreams - Chris Hirsch who used to work for me years ago, As she is still a pharmacist and still working, and still living in the area it is not impossible I could run across her. I can't think why I should suddenly dream about her. It probably means nothing but I am recording it here 'just in case'