Today Krystal Wolf had its first proper outing at a psychic fayre. At the third attempt (1 with no customers and one that got cancelled) we had a very successful time at a psychic fayre. We were both busy most of the afternoon and I had some real wow moments with reactions to my readings. I was doing a crystal reading for one lady and correctly told her that she had been a mother figure to her younger sisters since their mother dies when the lady was 16. She look amazed ( and so was I)

It was a wonderful afternoon and I learned a lot from it. Next Saturday we have another psychic fayre as part of the Alcester Ghost Festival and I am looking forward to it already

I did my spiritual exercises before I did anything else today (well once cat feeding etc was done)

I did a pick from the tarot deck and got the 5 of pentacles. The text in the book talks about this card meaning loss of self worth and self esteem. very apt after my post investigation feelings,

I realised that when I am praying I do get totally lost in the activity. In a way I am in a trance. Maybe when my thoughts wander they are tasking me to useful places.

I haven't actively meditated - I am using this blog as a sort of meditation. What did the 5 of pentacles tell me? I have a lot more than I realise. The 5 indicates tension and anxiety - spot on. I have self esteem problems - no **** sherlock. The beggar on the card stays out in the snow even though he could go into the church behind. It is his choice to stay out because he believes he isn't worthy. This has a horribly familiar ring to it.

But I got an interesting thought while I was upstairs, I do no-one any service at all by underestimating my abilities - ;east of all those who could benefit from my work. If I don't have confidence in myself - why should they?

I feel I am being given a firm but gentle spiritual kick up the backside!

Lets be honest. Last nights investigation left me feeling jealous and insecure. In a location that promised a lot, it all went very flat for our group while the group Tony was in had lots of activity. And Tony himself did his best David Wells/ David Acorah impression by talking to a spirit that tried to actually channel through him. And the information he got was confirmed as accurate. I was left feeling very down and thinking 'why can't I do that'

Actually the question should be 'why do I want to do that?' And the answer sadly is that type of mediumship is so much more impressive than than anything I can do. Knowing I can do hypnotherapy and reiki when Tony can't is very little consolation when I am having problems finding me who want to sue those skills.

I was too tired to meditate this morning but I did do some card picks. AYG gave me exhaustion, deprivation and business. I decided to make a pick from Law f Attraction and got ' I am not here to create sameness'

So what can I take from this.

1) I am not meant to do the same as Tony, I do what I do as well as he does what he does.
2) I am trying too hard
3) I am being unfair and mean by resenting his abilities
4) Together our relationship will build a successful business

Last night we did enough readings to pay back the cost of one of the tickets. Next weekend we have a psychic fayre and the following weekend is the Alcester Ghost festival when we will be doing MORE readings

Things are really going quite for BOTH of use - and I have no reason to be down

I have had odd dreams the past few nights. Most fade quickly but one has stuck with me so I feel it is significant. I was pulling some black plastic taps out of my mouth. It was long and was obviously a long way down in my insides. Sometimes it was all tangles up an knotted. I woke before I pulled it all out.

My meditation this morning was interesting. I ended up at the castle. Eli was waiting for me outside the room. I went in and looked rouns the room and it was full of books. I went o look through a large window on the right hand wall. It looked over a hilly landscape.

I was amazed by how many books in the room. Peter was behind the desk (in its usual place in fron of the window on the left hand wall. I sat down and I saw a quill pen.

I have been reading the book I got on scrying. It is a strange mix of the philosophical and psychological. He accepts that the messages received may be from our subconcious - but talks quite happily about magic rituals. he does give soem helpful exercises to help you get the right focus in your mind when you are scrying. The first one is to visualise a simple object in your third eye. I have already been doing this by using the image of my moonstone as pasrt of my preparation to clear my mind. I cna fele my third eye tingle the moment I close my eyes and see that image so I knwo I am on the right track. he also talks about an astral space mirroring the physical space. So this morning I 'saw' my chair and alter in another space rather like Karl's white room exercise. And I just mentally asked for help over the way I found myself thinking about phoning in sick. I got the helpful thoguth that my self image is limiting me. Not that is definitely something to think about

I had a waking vision over night again. +VERY different to my normal ones. I could see orangy/goldy blocks in a hexogal pattern - with letters on the blocks. Not words though. It didn't last very long. Again is the coincidence it has happened after working with energy? I did a lot of healing yesterday

GREAT day at the hospice. I treated 4 patients - and one of them may just come back to me as a private patient.

I concentrated on feeling the energy and also visualised some colours when I drew the symbols. For some reason I got a string feeling of gold with DKM on 2 patients today. Something to think about