Meditation

I have been having problems with meditation recently. they dont seem to have been productive. And as my other log shows I am in a very dark mood at the moment. I decided this morning to try and meditate about the current situation. Alan and Graham both appeared. I apologised to both of them for my past mistakes. I told Alan I was sorry if I had failed to motivate him to change his life - but that in the end HE was the one who had to decide to change his life - and that I wasn't responsible for his actions.

Graham appearing was a surprise. I apologised if I hurt him and explained that I was too young when we married. I didnt love him - but never imagined NOT being married at that stage of my life. I was living in a faiy tale and didnt have the maturity to make the relationship work.

All tis took place in my glade. then I went to the room in the castle and I couldn't open the door to get in. i didnt feel worthy - bt Jenny opened it and let me in and then hugged me. Elijah was there - and I have realsied he represents my spirit of adventure

I need to be adventurous if I am going to work as a reiki therapist. I think thats why he has appeared now.

Rob has back problems - and has accepted my offer of another reiki treatment.I have to trust that spirit will bring me patients when I am ready for them.

I am in a weird place at the moment. I think it is a combination of things but mainly it is part of the grieving process for Edna. I think i need to sue my meditations to help me work through the issues.

I have also realised I haven't been thinking about the princiapls of reiki. I had almsot forgotten them - and that is not good. I dont think it is coincidence that soon after I was reminded about them by reading the manual that I got an unexpected chance to use reiki.

Reiki is not something you do, it is something you LIVE.