It says in the manual that after attunemnet some people find themselves thinking ina new way or with a new belief system.
This journal is to record my progress as I practice reiki so it seems appropraite to record here an insight I have gained today.
I went to see Edna today and came away feeling emotional - angry and upset. But I decided to try and listen to the voices and learn what they are trying to tell me.
I have come to the conclusion that I am going to learn something from this situation - something that I will able to use in some way in the future. Something that will redeem what seems to be a pointless tragedy
The secondary insight is that maybe if I think hard enough, I will find out I learned something from Alan's tragedy that can be useful.
Food for much thought and meditation
Monday, 31 August 2009
Reiki as part of my life
I keep 3 blogs. My first blog (changing life and times) is all about how I coped with the challenging events of last year. Life is still challenging so it is still going. Its main focus is my health and my struggle to lose weight. The second is about how things go with Edna. I started that so my first blog didnt become overwhelmed with Edna. My third blog (this one) was started because I wanted somewhere to record any psychic stuff. At times the three blogs cross over. Today is one of those days . I feel it worth posting the beggining of todays entry for 'changing life and times' here.
"I got frustrated and annoyed with myself yesterday when my reiki meditation didnt go well. With some help I worked out that a bit of me was angry that I was giving myself something else to do. Do I really have time to learn about reiki when I have to work, do things for Edna , want to spend quality time with those I love....................
The answer is reiki is all about good health and balance. It is SO much more than just the mystical laying on of hands to treat an illness. It is also all about the health of the practitioner. In a way I have been trying to carry out the 5 principals of Reiki for 3 years without realising it.
This blog has been about my health - both physical and mental - during challenging times. Times are still challenging. I have to go and see Edna today and already I can feel my stomach tying itself up in knots as I wonder what I will find when I get there.
I need to be healthy to cope with everything.'
It was a revelation how much of what I already did and thought fitted into reiki. Whether I ever practice as a reiki therapist is irrelevant. I need reiki in my life to stay healthy and cope with my responsibilities.
Its still quite early and I havent meditated yet. I will make an entry about that later
"I got frustrated and annoyed with myself yesterday when my reiki meditation didnt go well. With some help I worked out that a bit of me was angry that I was giving myself something else to do. Do I really have time to learn about reiki when I have to work, do things for Edna , want to spend quality time with those I love....................
The answer is reiki is all about good health and balance. It is SO much more than just the mystical laying on of hands to treat an illness. It is also all about the health of the practitioner. In a way I have been trying to carry out the 5 principals of Reiki for 3 years without realising it.
This blog has been about my health - both physical and mental - during challenging times. Times are still challenging. I have to go and see Edna today and already I can feel my stomach tying itself up in knots as I wonder what I will find when I get there.
I need to be healthy to cope with everything.'
It was a revelation how much of what I already did and thought fitted into reiki. Whether I ever practice as a reiki therapist is irrelevant. I need reiki in my life to stay healthy and cope with my responsibilities.
Its still quite early and I havent meditated yet. I will make an entry about that later
Sunday, 30 August 2009
Improvment
I meditated and tried self healing for about 5 minutes before I came to bed tonight, I feel it went much better. I 'saw' more colours during my meditation this time and it felt as if it went better.
I will re-read the manual again and make sure I have it al straight in my mind what I should be doing. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better.
I will re-read the manual again and make sure I have it al straight in my mind what I should be doing. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot better.
First attempt at self healing
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised or downhearted to report that my first attempt at self healing was quite unspectacular. Nothing really happened. I certainly didn't see or feel anything abnormal apart from the normal tingling in my hands and feet.
If you could do it brilliantly at the first attempt, you wouldn't need to keep practising
I do feel quite emotional which could be the result of the meditation - or just my disappointment at what feels like a lack of success.
It is so tough to meditate without guidance. I have tried to find a way to make my own track - but can't and that annoys me as well.
But 'For today do not be angry' Getting annoyed wont help me.
I forgot to take off my jewelery. I forgot to visualize a switch to turn the reiki on. I will have another go this evening and see if the meditation goes any better
If you could do it brilliantly at the first attempt, you wouldn't need to keep practising
I do feel quite emotional which could be the result of the meditation - or just my disappointment at what feels like a lack of success.
It is so tough to meditate without guidance. I have tried to find a way to make my own track - but can't and that annoys me as well.
But 'For today do not be angry' Getting annoyed wont help me.
I forgot to take off my jewelery. I forgot to visualize a switch to turn the reiki on. I will have another go this evening and see if the meditation goes any better
Premonition?
I've just remembered something that happened yesterday. Shortly after Sue said she had been told when Edna might die, we discussed whether I would REALLY want to know. I said it would depend on the time involved ' .........but if it was only 2 months I would at least know I could cope with that'
I picked 2 months out thin air - I thought. But its a funny time period to chose so I am recording it as a possible premonition and hoping I am wrong.
I picked 2 months out thin air - I thought. But its a funny time period to chose so I am recording it as a possible premonition and hoping I am wrong.
The reiki way of life
I have read through the manual again - not worrying too much about the history of how we got to where we are (or where I am?) with Reiki. So different practitioners have adapted and expanded on their practice. Big deal Conventional medicine does that all the time and no-one would try to throw doubt on conventional medicine as a result. But I can easily see conventional practitioners using that as a means to cast doubt on reiki.
One of my pharmacy colleages made what I thought was a scpetical comment about reiki to my FB status where I mentioned going for reiki training. I replied diplomatically and his rseponse was a great surprise. ' Cochrane says it works - I was encouraging you' Cochrane is the bible of evidenced based medicine that all conventional practitioners rely on. He also posted the link to review shat showed a positive effect of reiki and other hands on techniques in arthritic pain. And the moral to that tale is I must NOT assume all my colleagues have closed minds. It was also good to see some scientific backing for reiki. I must ackowledge the needs of my rational sceptical scientific mind.
I think what spoke most clearly to me from the manual was the expanded section on the 5 principals of reiki. So much of what I read there I could relate to my McKenna training. It all fits and thats why it all feels so right.
I havent meditated or done any self healing today yet. I did try last night but I got twitchy again and I decided (rightly ot wrongly) that trying self healing last night after such an intensive day wasn't the right thing to do.
However what I have done is prepare a space where I can meditate properly maybe with incense or an oil burner to add ambience. The oil burner is dual purpose as I presume the tea light flame would. as act as a candle. The tidying up was HIGHLY therapeutic ( life laundry??) as well as being good exercise.
I intend to meditate properly later today.
I didnt sleep well last night mainly because I spent te night chasing TC (our cat) round the bed because he seemed totally unable to leave me alone and insited on sitting on me however many times I pushed him off. As a result I woke with pains in my back. Not my normal back pain - this was deep in my muscles. I did wonder if it could be healing reaction - but its more likely it was just thanks to an obstinate cat. He was far more obstinate than he has been. Whether that is the sort of change Sue suggested I might see in the cats behavior round me I don't know. Felix (our other cat) is as standoffish with me as he always been as far as I can see.
I will make an entry about my meditation and self healing session later.
One of my pharmacy colleages made what I thought was a scpetical comment about reiki to my FB status where I mentioned going for reiki training. I replied diplomatically and his rseponse was a great surprise. ' Cochrane says it works - I was encouraging you' Cochrane is the bible of evidenced based medicine that all conventional practitioners rely on. He also posted the link to review shat showed a positive effect of reiki and other hands on techniques in arthritic pain. And the moral to that tale is I must NOT assume all my colleagues have closed minds. It was also good to see some scientific backing for reiki. I must ackowledge the needs of my rational sceptical scientific mind.
I think what spoke most clearly to me from the manual was the expanded section on the 5 principals of reiki. So much of what I read there I could relate to my McKenna training. It all fits and thats why it all feels so right.
I havent meditated or done any self healing today yet. I did try last night but I got twitchy again and I decided (rightly ot wrongly) that trying self healing last night after such an intensive day wasn't the right thing to do.
However what I have done is prepare a space where I can meditate properly maybe with incense or an oil burner to add ambience. The oil burner is dual purpose as I presume the tea light flame would. as act as a candle. The tidying up was HIGHLY therapeutic ( life laundry??) as well as being good exercise.
I intend to meditate properly later today.
I didnt sleep well last night mainly because I spent te night chasing TC (our cat) round the bed because he seemed totally unable to leave me alone and insited on sitting on me however many times I pushed him off. As a result I woke with pains in my back. Not my normal back pain - this was deep in my muscles. I did wonder if it could be healing reaction - but its more likely it was just thanks to an obstinate cat. He was far more obstinate than he has been. Whether that is the sort of change Sue suggested I might see in the cats behavior round me I don't know. Felix (our other cat) is as standoffish with me as he always been as far as I can see.
I will make an entry about my meditation and self healing session later.
Saturday, 29 August 2009
Reiki Training
Oh my god what can I say. I hardly know where to start. This really has been another 'eureka' moment like seeing the ghost in York and the dowsing crystal in Stourbridge. I went expecting (fearing?) nothing would happen . This was exactly how I was when I went to both York and Stourbridge. And yet again I have been proved SPECTACULARLY wrong.
It was only in retrospect as I thought through the events of the day that I realised quite how spectacular it was. I didnt expect to see colours when I meditated. I didnt KNOW people often saw colours. But I know what I saw - and I know I wasn't consciously manipulating what I 'saw' .
The behaviour of the dowsing crystal when we were talking to 'John' was also amazing. It wasn't so mch what I learned - but the strength of the response compared to when we 'dowsed' Edna.
And that brief glimpse of that female figure as I started the self healing meditation was utterly unexpected. Having failed all day to sense spirit or see anything other than the abstract when I was meditating, why did I suddenly see that outline? And try as I might I was unable to recreate it . So I am as certain as I could be I didnt 'create' it consciously the first time.
So having said how amazing it was I had better rceord more factually what happened before I forget.
Ther session started with a grounding meditation. I found this quite easy thanks to all the practice I have had.
Then we started working through the manual Sue had prepared for me. Although the history of Reiki and the different types of reiki probably are not going to be that relevant to the use I make of it, the discussion it generated gave me helpful insights into a number of things - including my feelings bout Alan, sibling rivalry, and why I want to learn reiki anyway. I could relate concepts and ideas in the manual to stuff I had done using Paul Mckenna's books, philosophical ideas discussed with Masoud when I was learning about the B'ahai, my pharmacy knowledge and training....................so much made sense. And it made it feel right to be where I was doing what I was doing. It was an affirmation that I am doing the right thing. Not confirmation - affirmation.
During this w eended up discussing Edna - no surprise- and Sue got some information from her spirit guide that Edna is getting ready to cross over. She even got told when it might happen - but didn't tell me. At Sue's suggestion I 'dowsed' her Chakra's to find out if they were open or closed and whether they were clean or blocked. I did it with my dowsing crystal and my eyes closed so I culd picture Edna. That meant I couldn't see what the crystal was doing. Sue also asked me to say what I thought of each chakra based on instinct. I wasn't too brilliant at that. Basically this dowsing gave us the information that her chakra's are closed apart from her crown and base chakra's. And they are not really open. The dowsing confirmed what I already knew or guessed -w hich is that Edna is more or less willing herself to die. This isn't really news - but it says a lot that this hasn't been contradicted by anything we found out today.
The sceptic in me says I am reading what I want to see into the information I was given. But it feels like more than that.
The next thing on the agenda was for Sue to attune me. She split it into two parts - for which I was very thankful. I would not fancy doing the whole thing in one.
The first attunment alomost reduced me to giggles when Sue blew on me - but that very quickly subsided and I strated to feel VERY emotional. I was seeing lost of purple , then purple with bright blue specks, then I saw waves f colour - and finally colour moving and changing that I suddenly realised look an eye slowly blinking.
I hadn't expected to see anything particular during the meditation - and I was shocked when Sue described what i had seen -a nd when I read that people often see colours.
Physically I felt quite intense tingling in my hands a feet - much more intense than I normally get. I am kind of used to the fact that this is my signal that meditation is going well and/or that spirit is with me.
The second half of the attunement was even more intense than the first but less emotional. The phsical symptoms were greater and the colours less intense but it was still a very draining process. Sue's question as I cam out of the meditation was 'Do you feel as if yu have gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson' the answer was 'yes'
Just at the end of the meditation when Sue was asking me to try and see my reiki guide or get a name for them the name 'John' popped into my mind.
We tried to find out who this was using the dowsing crystal. The responses I got were MUCH stronger than when I was dowsing Edna's chakra's. He isn't my reiki guidem he isn't to help me - bt he is something to do with Tony (whose full name is Anthony John) I asked about that when I rememebred the only 'John' I knew was him. This could be a signal that Tony is going to be helping me in some way - maybe with his mediumship if he chooses to develop it. I so hope he does.
We ended the session with my first self healing session. This is when I saw the outline figure of a woman. Apart from that it was mainly abstract colours again although this time I was aware of little holes of blackness - almst black holes sucking colour away.
Physically this was very intrense. At times I felt muscle twitches and I jumped several times. I only spent about 7 minutes meditating - but physically that was more than enough.
The next step is to do self healing for the next 21 days. I am looking forward to it and will record what happens in this blog.
It is only 9.15 - but I feel ready for bed. I didnt expect the day to be so tiring.
It was only in retrospect as I thought through the events of the day that I realised quite how spectacular it was. I didnt expect to see colours when I meditated. I didnt KNOW people often saw colours. But I know what I saw - and I know I wasn't consciously manipulating what I 'saw' .
The behaviour of the dowsing crystal when we were talking to 'John' was also amazing. It wasn't so mch what I learned - but the strength of the response compared to when we 'dowsed' Edna.
And that brief glimpse of that female figure as I started the self healing meditation was utterly unexpected. Having failed all day to sense spirit or see anything other than the abstract when I was meditating, why did I suddenly see that outline? And try as I might I was unable to recreate it . So I am as certain as I could be I didnt 'create' it consciously the first time.
So having said how amazing it was I had better rceord more factually what happened before I forget.
Ther session started with a grounding meditation. I found this quite easy thanks to all the practice I have had.
Then we started working through the manual Sue had prepared for me. Although the history of Reiki and the different types of reiki probably are not going to be that relevant to the use I make of it, the discussion it generated gave me helpful insights into a number of things - including my feelings bout Alan, sibling rivalry, and why I want to learn reiki anyway. I could relate concepts and ideas in the manual to stuff I had done using Paul Mckenna's books, philosophical ideas discussed with Masoud when I was learning about the B'ahai, my pharmacy knowledge and training....................so much made sense. And it made it feel right to be where I was doing what I was doing. It was an affirmation that I am doing the right thing. Not confirmation - affirmation.
During this w eended up discussing Edna - no surprise- and Sue got some information from her spirit guide that Edna is getting ready to cross over. She even got told when it might happen - but didn't tell me. At Sue's suggestion I 'dowsed' her Chakra's to find out if they were open or closed and whether they were clean or blocked. I did it with my dowsing crystal and my eyes closed so I culd picture Edna. That meant I couldn't see what the crystal was doing. Sue also asked me to say what I thought of each chakra based on instinct. I wasn't too brilliant at that. Basically this dowsing gave us the information that her chakra's are closed apart from her crown and base chakra's. And they are not really open. The dowsing confirmed what I already knew or guessed -w hich is that Edna is more or less willing herself to die. This isn't really news - but it says a lot that this hasn't been contradicted by anything we found out today.
The sceptic in me says I am reading what I want to see into the information I was given. But it feels like more than that.
The next thing on the agenda was for Sue to attune me. She split it into two parts - for which I was very thankful. I would not fancy doing the whole thing in one.
The first attunment alomost reduced me to giggles when Sue blew on me - but that very quickly subsided and I strated to feel VERY emotional. I was seeing lost of purple , then purple with bright blue specks, then I saw waves f colour - and finally colour moving and changing that I suddenly realised look an eye slowly blinking.
I hadn't expected to see anything particular during the meditation - and I was shocked when Sue described what i had seen -a nd when I read that people often see colours.
Physically I felt quite intense tingling in my hands a feet - much more intense than I normally get. I am kind of used to the fact that this is my signal that meditation is going well and/or that spirit is with me.
The second half of the attunement was even more intense than the first but less emotional. The phsical symptoms were greater and the colours less intense but it was still a very draining process. Sue's question as I cam out of the meditation was 'Do you feel as if yu have gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson' the answer was 'yes'
Just at the end of the meditation when Sue was asking me to try and see my reiki guide or get a name for them the name 'John' popped into my mind.
We tried to find out who this was using the dowsing crystal. The responses I got were MUCH stronger than when I was dowsing Edna's chakra's. He isn't my reiki guidem he isn't to help me - bt he is something to do with Tony (whose full name is Anthony John) I asked about that when I rememebred the only 'John' I knew was him. This could be a signal that Tony is going to be helping me in some way - maybe with his mediumship if he chooses to develop it. I so hope he does.
We ended the session with my first self healing session. This is when I saw the outline figure of a woman. Apart from that it was mainly abstract colours again although this time I was aware of little holes of blackness - almst black holes sucking colour away.
Physically this was very intrense. At times I felt muscle twitches and I jumped several times. I only spent about 7 minutes meditating - but physically that was more than enough.
The next step is to do self healing for the next 21 days. I am looking forward to it and will record what happens in this blog.
It is only 9.15 - but I feel ready for bed. I didnt expect the day to be so tiring.
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