A spiritual hangover?

I have been been feeling both physically and spiritually off colour for the past week. I have been really REALLY fed up and depressed, and have been brewing what seems to be a cold.

I realised yesterday this could be because I still haven't quite evicted the negative energy I think I brought home with me from the creaky cauldron. So this morning I decided to do a meditation to try to re-ground and re-protect myself. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do but I did it.

I had 2 candles lit, used an incense stick to bless the room - and used the symbol of the cross as well CKR.

The meditation was a strange affair. I visualised myself covered in light and rising through the top of the house . I then found myself at my 'temple of dreams' The back was lit with green light and Jonas and Ariel were there. I realised I had been forgetting Ariel is there to protect me. That gave me a lot of confidence.

I couldn't make sense of anything in the temple so I left and found myself at the castle. Peter was there. I struggled to make sense of why I was there. I didn't get any clear messages - but eventually I remembered the Ear Chakra card which I have picked 3 times over the past few days.

I wondered if it meant I was 'due' to start 'hearing' messages. I still get very frustrated that I don't seem to have clear communication with my guides. Then I suddenly found myself thinking 'What am I good at?' The immediate answer was communication. Then I realised communication is a two way thing both speaking and listening. Then I got the thought that I would hear more psychically if I spoke more psychically.

I realised I both give a receive information when I use energy techniques. So I think I need to practice those.

Despite the confused feel of the meditation I think I made a leap forward. All I have to do now is work out how to practice the energy work.

Meditation and cards

Yesterday when I did my tarot card pick, the 8 or cups ended up sticking out from the deck. I ignored it and the card I picked was the Ace or Swords.

This morning I picked my card - but then found I had 2 cards - and I can't explain how that happened. The cards were The Fool - and the 8 of Cups.

I decided to make these two cards the focus of my meditation. I found myself in the Temple of dreams.I got bathed in blue light as I entered and I thought I saw Eli. Then I realised he was snarling and got the impression it was one of the nastier characters from Saturday night. I dealt with him with my sword then Eli came forward and hugged me.

I walked towards the alter and saw two stained glass windows. On the right was the word Asda, on the left was the Ace of Swords.

I tried to go into the library at the back - but it was dark.

I am setting out on a journey to become a reiki practitioner with proper patients. The 8 of cups seems to indicate my old life as a hospital pharmacist is no longer valid or useful. The Ace of Swords represents the shaft of white light mentioned in the reading at the psychic fair.The job with Asda will give me useful business skills that will help me run the business side of Krystal Wolf. That also makes sense of the Leadership card I have picked several times. I will 'lead' the company. The Fool card shows the journey starting and shows it is not without risks.

Iam not sure why I had to deal with that character from the creaky Cauldron - if it WAS him. I may ask Carolyn for some advice.

Last nights investigation

This was a fantastic night. I feel I made progress in my psychic development. I sensed someone's knee problem, I got some names and events right, I was close with some psychometry. I ended the evening with a lot more confidence in my abilities

I can't give details because Tony didn't get to the investigation. It was such a fantastic place I want to go back with him as soon as possible. But I don't want to contaminate things by giving Tony any prior knowledge. And there is one piece of information about the buildings history tat they don't give you unless it is sensed by the group. And if you DO get it you are not allowed to tell anyone anyway. they ask you to keep it confidential. So I can't really say anything about what happened

But it was an amazing night.

I missed Tony - but I have the funny feeling I made better progress because I had to push myself more. So maybe he wasn't MEANT to be there.

Don't suppose that will make you feel any better tho Tony.

Law of attraction

We have made two new friend James and Debby. Yesterday I found out that Debby is a hedge witch and you only have to mention ghosts to James and he will start talking about strange events at his house. So apparently by coincidence our circle of spiritual/paranormal friends has grown again. Except I am sure it is NOT coincidence. It is the Law of Attraction in action

I had some good news today. I have permission to offer a reiki service at Fosters.

Building on yesterdays reading

My plan for today was dash over to hall Green, deliver some leaflets, come back for Manie's phone call, then go out again to deliver the rest of the leaflets. I was on my way, sitting in a traffic jam when I realised it was not the best plan. I didn twant to waste probably an hour travelling when I didnt really need to and could put the time to much better use by meditating. So I came home and did just that. I spent over 30 minutes in a very fruitful meditation.

Before I did the meditation I checked my emails and found an email from healthy pages (and I have never had one of those before) and one item that stood out was a link to a hypnotherapy course. I decided on impulse to click the link and get a prospectus. Yesterday Pam did say she saw me doing some studying.

I walked to the park, grounded myself then climbed the cloud staircase. I went ot the Temple of Dreams. I opened the door and found myself bathed in a white/yellow light. I walked towards the alter and I realised my guides were sitting in the pews and the ascended master was in the pulpit. I could see Ariel in the stained glass window.I stopped at the entrance to the choir and knelt down. The Master came down and blessed me and turned me round to face my guides - who were all clapping.

I then walked to the back of the temple where there are rooms. By this time the light had gone and this area was gloomy as it normally is. One room had the word 'school' written on it. I opened it and found myself in a huge library. I couldn't see any particular titles. I walked out again and found myself looking back at the alter and the Ascended Master again - asking for re-assurance - which I got.

Of course it wasn't as clear cut as I have written in. Some very mundane thoughts intruded to do with finance, the new Krystal Wolf company, Asda, the interview. But I did get some inspirations - like asking Gill (or Linda?) to draw a logo for our stationery - unless I can find a crystal wolf among the 50,000 images I purchased the other day.

OK some of what I experienced could be psychosomatic. Like seeing a library when I was told last night I would be doing study. The white/yellow light on entering the temple could also have been due the readers words about white light pouring down on me - and my cards last night were predominantly white and yellow. But some things such as the blessing and the applause from my guides were a genuine surprise.

But I do feel I made the right move by sending off for the information about hypnotherapy

Psychic fair

We went to a psychic fair and both got readings. Mine was very interesting. I am on the right path and at the right place on that path. Tony and I are soulmates, the money will be there when I need it, I need to focu on meditation, and I need to believe in myself. But she also said reiki is just the start.

There were some very familiar cards in the spread (22 cards!) The heirophant, the star, the 7 of pentacles, Ace of swords Knight of swords Queen of wands.........all cards tat have appeared regularly in my picks for myself

I asked for a general reading and the reader asked if there were specific areas like relationships or work - so I chose work. She then asked what I did so I did tell her about the reiki.

She picked up on past sorrow on my path.

It felt like an accurate reading - and I am now wondering what the reiki will lead to. She also said Tony will have to work harder to develop than I will. That it will come easier to me. On the surface that doesn't make sense - but the reiki has been SO easy for me. I think if I can get over the blocks I put on myself, I may find I develop faster than Tony. But he apparently has dome this before in a past life. So I really dont know.

Tony had a reading too.

An extraordinary day

I have been feeling distinctly 'blah' lately - definitely lacking direction and progress in so many areas. This morning on the news there was an item about how exercise in green spaces especially near water is very good for you - restoring self esteem. I took that as a sign that I was being nudged to get my track suit on and head for park and my normal route round the lake. So I did. When I reached the park I immediately started jogging at a slow pace - and managed to jog continuously to and then all the way round the lake.

I realised that I had coped with more jogging because I was going slower than I normally do. I immediately thought - this means the work thing can't be rushed. Don't be impatient. Take it slowly and it will happen. The other thought I got was that I expected to be able to run faster than I could - and realised I have been expecting too much of myself in other areas.

While meditating as I jogged I also realised I have been feeling so down because I get no positive feedback from anyone - including myself. When I am at work even it was dire, I always got some positive feedback to tell me I was doing OK, that I was good at what I was doing. At the moment I have got nothing. I think that's why I have been so keen to help the Lib Dems. Charlotte is always so grateful. I feel needed. I knew my work colleagues needed me, I knew my patients needed me. I feel my reiki clients will need me. Without a job I feel like a waste of space and totally unnecessary.

Having had these useful insights I then went to stuff some envelopes at Osmond House. This takes a small part of my mind to do leaving a large part free to think. And I found myself wondering excatly what next weekend will bring. I am convinced we are going to learn something useful from Carolyn. Of course that could just be wishful thinking.

The most extraordinary happened this afternoon. Last night Tony got a reading from Psychic TV. is question was 'how many guides and what do they want me to know. Her answer was basically one word - healing. She specifically mentioned healing with words and healing with hands. So Tony texted through another question explaining that I did healing and that he saw his path in medium-ship. He got an answer back that was very encouraging and basically saying it would be very good for him.

She was SO positive about the emphasis on healing. Thats HAS to be 'positive feedback' from the other side that I am on the right path - and doing OK.

But I need to make sure I give myself positive feedback on a regular basis.