A minor cataclysm

That might sound like a contradiction in terms - but it feels the correct way to describe what has happened. I have been feeling VERY down recently. I put this down to being tired from trying to work full time, but I now think I was wrong.

Yesterday I did the chakra meditation more as a way to relax than to gain any spiritual insight. The colours I saw during it were unusual light green featured a lot plus some yellow as well as purple. I didn't see anything specific during the final part - but I came out of it feeling relaxed.

This morning I felt dire again - in fact it was so bad I ended up in tears on Tony. He slept late and I ended up waking him up because I felt so lonely. The crying jag helped. I got some stuff off my chest and then I decided to be proactive and use my pendant to help me sort out what was happening. The answers surprised me.

My feelings were nothing to do with me opening anything up during the meditation, and they are nothing to do with me being tired. I am feeling like this because I am not doing the work I should be doing. It seems I should NOT try to get regular work as a pharmacist - the ad hoc covers will bring me in enough income. This was backed up by one of my cards later - 6 of Pentacles. In fact I was told weeks ago when I had my tarot reading that I would never have to worry about money - if I needed it it would be there. Volunteering to give reiki at the hospice seems to be my next move. I have thought for some time I need to just give reiki - and not worry about the business side too much.

I also got some advice about crystals - with help from Tony - that I need to carry with me and sleep with for 3 days. He came up with the 3 days from his guides.

We are going to create a facebook page for Krystal Wolf Holistic Care - once we have decided what it is going to do. I think that is the key we need a clear vision for what it is going to do and how it is going to do it. I think lack of focus is a significant reason why we are not making progress.

I asked the pendant if working as a pharmacist was blocking me from making progress and got told yes. I should add the answers were often VERY vigorous and beyond any doubt. I also got some surprising non responses/negative responses so I can rule out psychosomatic responses. I was really surprised when fatigue was ruled out as a reason for me feeling so lousy. I am sure it IS a factor - but not the main one.

I think I have been left in no doubt that I need to commit to reiki and my spiritual work - and recognise that I will be doing more than reiki - if I am to progress.

I feel as if the ball is in my court - and I need to decide what I am going to do. But Tony also needs to decide what HE is going to do and how he wants to work.

Chakra meditation

I have been stressed out for the past week and really not able to meditate effectively. So this afternoon I decided to really chill out. Bath, candles, incense, and a guided meditation track, I did listened to the chakra track 'sweet surrender'

I saw some very different colours during it. Light greens and yellows as well as purple. It was fascinating - and very relaxing

Earlier in the day I did a bit of reiki on TC. Tony had a weird experince while I was doing it. he saw a scene that could have come from a willow pattern plate complete with heron and pagoda.

Another psychic 'wow' moment?

On Sunday I made a fruitless search on FB to see if I could find Doug. I wanted to let him know about Andy. I couldn't find him.

Yesterday after I made my entry in this blog I wanted to send Tony an email about the blog. Among the emails from a FB was one that told me Douglas Seager wanted to be friends with me. I nearly fell off the chair.

This NOT coincidence happening at this time. Was my search for him a touch of clairvoyance? Did I pick up that he was ready to make contact ?

My cards today ibcluded practice discipline and moving forward fearlessly. The info about MFF in the book includes the words 'you are making great strides' I read that and thought ' no sh*t sherlock'

I am clearly doing things right at the moment.

Getting my priorities right

This morning I put a new regime in pace. No laptop and no FB first thing in the morning. That gives me the time I need to exercise physically and spiritually. So I have done 20 minute son the wii fit, meditated and done some self healing as well as my cards.

I drew two interesting cards. The Queen of cups and Forgive. My immediate thought after the weekend was 'I have to forgive Alan' I meditated about these cards and came to the conclusion I have to forgive myself as well. I think the Queen is an indication I need to keep my emotions controlled - and use some rationality as well as emotion as i do this.

Today is Alan's birthday. I do NOT think it is coincidence I picked these cards today. His birthday may also be why Tony saw him at Dudley.

Station Hotel Dudley

We went on an investigation at the Station Hotel and it turned into quite a night. It wasn't an ideal group because there was a large party of noisy girls who shrieked a lot. But when Chris (the organiser /medium) saw our group were serious, we always somehow managed to be on our own as a group. And as a group we had a good mix. Becky I think is a total believer, Simon , Tony, myself and Brian are all open minded but take the Taps approach . Martyn I think is sceptical - and only doing it to please Brian. But would like to experience something that convinces him. Rob is a sceptic.

It started off with the whole group in the cellar. A couple of times I felt someone was standing in front of me but there was nothing really convincingly paranormal. I did get the name George which is associated with the cellar . And Tony picked up on a little girl called Anne or Annie and again that name has been linked with that location. As neither of us had researched the location that is interesting but hardly earth shattering. The names are common enough.

Our next stop , with Debbie from Ghost Haunted , was room 217 where we got one interesting picture, maybe a couple of emf spikes in the bathroom and some interesting personal phenomena like being touched and feeling breezes. Rob did some scrying and clearly something happened because he saw himself with a beard and moustache.

In room 214 we tried a ouija board . We apparently spoke to a young lad called Matthew , In fact we ended up singing 3 blind mice to him at Tony's suggestion. Tony then vigorously applauded us. He said he could see Matthew sitting on the floor applauding us. That could have been a touch of trance mediumship - but I am not sure. Physical mediumship is always by definition a paranormal occurrence. As Rob was one of the people on the planchet it was an experience for him. But I am sceptical about Matthew.

We were joined by a couple of other people and Chris the medium for a table tipping experiment. First of all we all sat round a large table that we decided was too heavy to move. But then a smaller group of us stood round a smaller table. All I can say about this was wow. I never knew a table could do that! And I know there was no trickery involved. We had apparent contact with Laura and Alexandra (mother and daughter) I did have some interesting personal experiences at the stat of the table tipping experiment when we were seated.. I had a couple of cold shivers and felt as if I was giving reiki. But neither Tony nor Chris were getting anything so I don't know what happened. I didn't get any names or anything. But this DID result in a suggestion form Chris that Tony and I might lie to join their closed circle!

The last experience of the night was a dark and emotional one and probably shows why trained mediums are useful to have around when you investigate the paranormal. Our group of 7 were in the cellar doing glass divination. We did simple yes/no with a torch. Becky was asking a lot of the questions with me doing some of the questions. We didn't seem to have any of the spirits from the hotel but it did seem there was someone there with a message for Brian - but we couldn't work out who or what the message was. Then Becky got a positive response to the word wife. She thought the person's wife was present in spirit in the cellar. That didn't seem logical to me and I asked if Alan was there and got a positive answer. The information that seemed to come through was that Alan was telling us Andy had passed. That out a real damper on things and the session ended almost immediately. But as we were leaving the cellar Tony went into medium mode and said Alan wanted to apologise to me for his behaviour, said how proud he was and Steve and ended with the comment that his Mum was still telling him off. This was very emotional for both me and Tony .

Robs comment summed the evening up very well. It was very good but the last 10 minutes were a real downer.

Analysing this in the cold light of day I think we were not sceptical enough about the apparent positive responses from the glass. Also Becky has never done anything like that before as far as I know and her questions were not clear . But even though I could accept that Alan might be there I was at a loss to think why he might come through. I wasn't expecting Alan to tell us anything about Andy. I know Tony would not fake that sort of message. But I can think of psychological rather than paranormal reasons for the information he came out with. His brain was reacting to something - but I am not convinced it was Alan's spirit.

How will I feel if we get told that Andy did pass last night? If we get that news watch this space

Now this is getting too silly for words

OK time to take a deep breath and record something that is almost certainly coincidence or imagination........but.

The other evening I was trying to get into a guided meditation and really not doing very well. I was lying in bed and I am wondering if at one point I drifted off very briefly into a doze. Whatever the reason, instead of seeing myself in a woodland setting I saw myself on a path made of square cobbles (aka small bricks) and I could see 2 brown and white spaniels running around.

I don't own a spaniel, never have owned a spaniel, am never likely to own a spaniel and don't know anyone who owns a spaniel. So there is no logical reason I should see a spaniel.

So fast forward to this morning and I decided to go for a walk in the park and try to get back into my exercise routine. On the way back I spotted a small brown and white spaniel running around with a ball in its mouth. He came up to me a couple of times while he was waiting for his owner to finish the conversation he was having. They walked past and I walked on thinking. Thats interesting then I looked at the path I was walking on. It was made of small bricks.

At that point 'interesting' became very spooky and weird. OK this wasn't an exact duplication of what I saw - not even close. But the two key factors were the type of dog and the type of pavement.

Coming so close after my apparent sensing of Andy's stroke I am very unsettled and wondering what else is going to happen. We are on an investigation this evening.

Psychic precognition?

On Monday evening one of our friends came round. He has a large number of health problems and looked very unwell. As I looked at him his mouth looked very slightly odd and the word that went through my head was 'stroke' I even wondered if I should ask him to raise his arms. But when I commented that he didnt look well he said he was just tired after his dialysis.

Today (Thursday) we were told he has ad a stroke. I am not sure when - I think sometime on Tuesday. Was he in the early stages on Monday evening? It seems unlikely as he was able to walk and talk OK. Or did I pick up something psychically? Given his underlying conditions some kind of CV event was always a possibility - but a cardiac arrest was more likely than a stroke so I wasn't expecting him to have a stroke.

Did I get a flash of precognition? I will never know for sure - but I must learn to trust that inner voice .