A minor cataclysm

That might sound like a contradiction in terms - but it feels the correct way to describe what has happened. I have been feeling VERY down recently. I put this down to being tired from trying to work full time, but I now think I was wrong.

Yesterday I did the chakra meditation more as a way to relax than to gain any spiritual insight. The colours I saw during it were unusual light green featured a lot plus some yellow as well as purple. I didn't see anything specific during the final part - but I came out of it feeling relaxed.

This morning I felt dire again - in fact it was so bad I ended up in tears on Tony. He slept late and I ended up waking him up because I felt so lonely. The crying jag helped. I got some stuff off my chest and then I decided to be proactive and use my pendant to help me sort out what was happening. The answers surprised me.

My feelings were nothing to do with me opening anything up during the meditation, and they are nothing to do with me being tired. I am feeling like this because I am not doing the work I should be doing. It seems I should NOT try to get regular work as a pharmacist - the ad hoc covers will bring me in enough income. This was backed up by one of my cards later - 6 of Pentacles. In fact I was told weeks ago when I had my tarot reading that I would never have to worry about money - if I needed it it would be there. Volunteering to give reiki at the hospice seems to be my next move. I have thought for some time I need to just give reiki - and not worry about the business side too much.

I also got some advice about crystals - with help from Tony - that I need to carry with me and sleep with for 3 days. He came up with the 3 days from his guides.

We are going to create a facebook page for Krystal Wolf Holistic Care - once we have decided what it is going to do. I think that is the key we need a clear vision for what it is going to do and how it is going to do it. I think lack of focus is a significant reason why we are not making progress.

I asked the pendant if working as a pharmacist was blocking me from making progress and got told yes. I should add the answers were often VERY vigorous and beyond any doubt. I also got some surprising non responses/negative responses so I can rule out psychosomatic responses. I was really surprised when fatigue was ruled out as a reason for me feeling so lousy. I am sure it IS a factor - but not the main one.

I think I have been left in no doubt that I need to commit to reiki and my spiritual work - and recognise that I will be doing more than reiki - if I am to progress.

I feel as if the ball is in my court - and I need to decide what I am going to do. But Tony also needs to decide what HE is going to do and how he wants to work.