OK how described last nights ghost hunt at The Station Hotel? Tony didn't go in the end so I went on my own. And we both thought it could be useful for me to step out of Tony's shadow and see what I can do on my own. What happened definitely gets filed under 'interesting' I ended up in gorup with Sheena (Mother of the organiser who loves her diwsing rods) and 4 young men friends - who were all 'lovely boys' who had never been on a ghost hunt before. We went to a room in the cellar where I got the name 'Benjamin' who I felt was a 14 year old boy. Deena's dowsing rods confirmed the information I got, and confirmed when I was sure he was standing right behind me. But when one of the guys asked a question I would get an instinctive reaction of 'yes' or 'no' and the rods mainly confirmed my thoughts. This carried on even when we went back to the base room when Deena confirmed he had followed us and I was sure he was standing by me. Now what was REALLY interessting was that there IS a Benjamin among the spirits at the hotel - although the descriptions didn't quite fit. The member of staff described him as a gay ghost (and how intersting that the 4 men were gay) Now while were still in the cellar we got the information that was scared of men. And I made a link to paedophilia. So the information I got wasn't a MILLION miles away from what has been discovered before. I heard Deena describe me as a 'very talented lady' Sadly cystitis attacked me so I ended up leaving early - but I think I made a good impression

I am still trying to take in all the events of last night. Drakelow tunnels is an amazing place - and it was an amazing night. The group high point came in discussion of noses and lights one group saw while some of the others were elsewhere. Since Tony and I were in different groups, we both have trusuted witnesses for what happened. Our group heard what sounded like a scream, and tired to call out to see if the other group were OK. We then kept seeing lights we thought could be them returning. When we finally re-united about 20 minutes later, they had NOT heard the noises we heard and could not have been the source of the lights we saw. They also did not hear us call out for them the first time. However they DID hear when we yelled out for them about 20 minutes later. They said they had not at any time called out. So wtf di our group see and here? Personally it was an amzing night as I was getting names that Chris (the guide) confirmed as correct. I correctly identified the room where she use the table and glass for divination by sense. I led an amazing conversation with one spirit (Mr Edward Mullen - a surgeon that Tony had picked up on earlier in the evening but Chris was unable to confirm our information) This conversation ended up in yet ANOTHER rescue for Tony and I - although the rest of the group joined in to help. I remember when Cal and Jeanagh taught us about lost soul rescue at Hay Castle. I remember thinking 'I don't think I'd ever do this' How wrong I was. To top the evening off I gave three readings - all of which the readers confirmed were accurate, and very helpful, PLus we may have made a useful contact in Chris - the guide at Drakelow. One persistent feeling I had during the evening was either a headache - or that tingling feeling on my head as if I was wearing a hat of some kind. This does fit with a strange image I got when I was telling Tony about the tingling. I got an image of THomas putting his top hat on my head. But what does it MEAN!!! All I can say is yesterday I felt more receptive than I have felt before. Can't WAIT to do Creaky again if I stay this open!!!

I meditated again today - and again got that tingling on the side of my head. Later when I was telling Tony about it I got the image of Thomas putting his top hat on my head. Oh and Tony did a card pick which links into spring - which firs spookily well with the image of me being showered with apple blossom. What is going on I wonder?

Yesterday was iVERY interesting and rewarding - but very tiring. And I now feel rather guilty. Tonight I should be going to do some healing at a cancer support group in Solihull - and I can't face the drive. I have done the trip too and from Solihull every day apart from today so far this week. And last night my journey home was via Balsall Common - 5 miles in the opposite direction! Yet again its the driving thats tiring me. So I am NOT going - and I;'m afraid I am probably not going to go to the training tomorrow. I feel I have a choice - either the course - or Drakelow tunnells - and I know which one is more important. This doesn't fit very well with the precepts about being honest and hard working BUT I need to be honest and admit I overestimated my ability to manage everything this week. And I think I need to show myself some compassion. I know the story about the beggars who paid nothing for their healing not benefit from Usui's treatment isn't really true. - but I do feel there has to be a limit to the amount of 'free' work I do - because it DOES take it out of me. Maybe thats a sign I need to ground myself better. But there does have to be balance. "Giving and receiving' is a card I have picked more than once. I do need to learn to say 'no'. I also need to be honest about my limits. I had an interesting meditation today. I was walking along my normal path then turned off to the left and sat on a wooden bench with Thomas. We got showered with petals from an apple tree that shaded the bench. teh grass was very green and it was obviously spring time. I looked up at the sun - and got the impression of sunlight boring in through my third eye chakra. Then I became aware that both sides of my head were tingling as well as my third eye chakra. I tried to 'see' if anyone was holding my head - but couldn't. I have no idea what it means - but I am wondering if something has been unblocked . Blocks of various sorts have been on my mind lately. Draeklow could be VERY interesting

Yesterday I did a card pick for myself and got Solar Plexus Chakra - with a message all about taking control. It did fit rather well with how I was feeling. Yesterday I got the thought that I need to ask Raphael for hep with my weight and health issues. It something I have done before- with no specific result. But this time I got the thought about asking for him to remove the blocks in my mind that STOP me from losing weight and being healthy. I can't work out what the secondary gain is. So I decided to do picks from the Raphael deck for me this morning. One fell out - second opinion. The two I picked were 'Massage' which is all about recognising I deserve self treatments, and the 3 rd card was - almost inevitably ' Call upon Archangel Raphael. That was a bit of a wow - because as I was shuffling I thought that would be a logical card to pull. Second opinion stumped me a bit. I am being referred for a bladder and kidney ultrasound, but in my other blog I have just speculated about asking Claire to help me with some hypnotherapy. It only occurred to me as I was typing this entry that the second opinion COULD be from her - and having hypnotherapy is the kind of treatment I am being encouraged to accept by the Massage card. This is a classic case of blogging as meditation because these ideas are coming as I type. Wow!!!! Using the word 'logical' about card picks is a bit of an oxymoron - but it would be a logical card for Raphael to direct me to under these circumstances. I AM a logical person - and I long ago realised my that logical side is necessary for me healing skills. So I guess whoever or whatever is communicating with my subconscious when I pick cards knows it has to work with that side of me - which is why I got the 'logical' card about calling on Raphael. The ONLY time Raphael has appeared to ignore my requests is when I ask for my health issues. I have had had positive responses for NON health issues The logical reason for that to happen is because I have blocks that are stopping me from giving permission for my health issues to be sorted out. And clearly I am being told I need help to sort them out..

More an oddity than a wow - but I DO feel this is worth recording. This morning my tarot pick was King of Cups. I decided to try to meditate on it, and tried to 'meet' him . But in a poor attempt to meditate my thoughts were confused and I found myself thinking about Milton Erikson and wondering if I needed to become more confident with Eriksonian , because my current hypnotherapeutic approach hasn't worked well with the two patients I have seen so far at the hospice.

Imagine my amazement when the explanation about the card seemed VERY apt for someone who is a hypnotherapist - and inlcudes the word 'confused' .

In fact during the meditation I got the idea the king WAS Erikson.

I will go back to my Eriksonian notes and write myself an eriksonian induction .

I did 3 card picks this morning. Raphael gave me ' You are a healer' whihc was SO good to get at the start of my day at the hospice.

Fairies gave me 'detoxification' which was what I had already decided I needed to do today. Not a standard detox - but a real attempt to drink LOTS of water - which I do anyway at the hospice . Also keep my food intake simply healthy and as sugar free as possible. I slept badly yesterday and I am sure it was my unusually high chocolate/sugar intake yesterday that was to blame. (caked and biscuits brought in by other staff, a drug lunch, and the remains of the trick or treat bag- it was a lethal combination)

The I got Queen of Pentacles and that was the focus for my meditation. I saw myself sitting in front of her, and she wrapped her scarf - with the roses that mean love - round my neck. I got the message to love myself.