The High Priestess

That was my card pick this morning. I have realised my 'tell' is a roughness on the card. It is analgous to the rough/smooth feeling when using TFT to choose foods by rubbing my thumb and fore finger together.

The High Priestess is card 3 in the major arcan - and 3 is my life path number based on my birthdate.

The meaning of this card is about hidden things being revealed in due time - and with patience. That feels SO applicable at the moment.

I have realised that I am worrying too much about my meditation technique. And todays meditation was much more fruitful. Peter was there and gave me a rosewood box containing 2 crystals. A blue one and a yellow one.

The yellow crystal is a surprise, but the blue one was expected (maybe me putting it in - but I have been thinking about my third eye chakra crystal for some days so I dont think so. That thought came from somewhere.

I feel I am meant to keep my chakra crystals in a rosewood box )well a carved wooden box of some sort) Something else to look out for . Maybe its time to start going to car boot sales again - and maybe time to go as a seller? I dont think I will find 'my' box in a normal shop.

Interesting times...........

Oh wow!!

I've just got home from work and had a talk with Tony. During my rather abortive meditation this morning I thought I met Peter - who is one of Tony's guides. Tony has just told me about a message he got last night from someone called Marcus who told him Peter was leaving him to help someone else. How spooky is that!!

Also I got the idea this morning after I left for work that I might need a boost later in the day so when I got to work I sent some reiki forward in time to boost me if things got stressful at work. During the afternoon it DID get stressful - but I coped quite well. I did close my eye's to see if I could see purple - which I didn't. But I did suddenly feel really thirsty.

I guess my meditation wasn't such a failure after all. And this evening I feel surprisingly energetic. Even managed a short wii fit jog (and mt ankle feels better too)So I guess the reiki kicked in as requested.

I want to try another meditation today to see if I can get some more information about Peter and see if he IS Tony's ex guide.

Frustration

This morning my tarot pick gave me two 5's. The Five of wands fell out and I picked the 5 of Pentacles. 5 is associated with anxiety and tension according to my tarot book. That certainly describes my attempt at meditation this morning. It did not go well, I couldn't focus. I did some self healing on my Achilles tendon instead (it is playing up a bit). I saw swathes of purple with blue speckles at the start - then nothing.

The title of this entry sums up my feelings about all things psychic today.

I am carrying crystals with me today. My two meditation crystals , my rose quartz and my tigers eye. I think work is going to be very busy today. Tuesdays often are so this isn't much of a psychic intuition. But I think it is going to be frustrating with lots of problems and that's why I have been warned to carry the crystals.

I didn't sleep well last night and I suspect that is why my meditation was somewhat unsuccessful.

I am still convinced I need to get a third eye chakra crystal - and maybe a rose pyramid like Tony's - but I can't get to a shop until next week.

Visions

I had a waking vision this morning. This time it was small blackboards with letters on them. Unfortunately the surrounding patterns and the movement of the boards made reading anything impossible - but it was clearly writing.

The one crystal I am currently missing is anything for my third eye chakra. I really REALLY need one I think. I don't think I am going to see anything clearly without a crystal. The thought that I need one has been running through my head for a couple of days now.

Its interesting I got this waking vision after a day when I did far less spiritually than I had done for some time. I am going to try for a proper meditation this morning and see what information I get.

The thought just popped into my head that yesterday for the first time in months I exercised in the park rather than using the wii fit. Could this be what triggered it? I mentioned in a earlier entry that I felt I needed earthly grounding to counter my watery nature (I am pure pisces sun sign and north node)

Yesterday I came out in the chat section of Locum voice about my experiences and my tarot reading. The thread was started by someone else but it did seem like a golden opportunity to say some of the stuff I wanted to. It turns out another locum is an astrologer!! I think this is how spirit is going to enable to slowly say what I want to say rather than blasting it all off in one letter.

Getting to know me

I did the 'know thyself' tasks for my OU course and have had some interesting insights.

My tarot pick this morning was Page of Pentacle which I looked at and saw new seeds growing and thought 'It means new things are developing' The book talked about making something large and concrete out of small insignificant things and mentioned about the need for firm foundations. The sparkpeople daily reflection used the exact same words when it talked about not getting frustrated by lack of progress because things are best bult on form foundations. Sometimes the universe makes VERY sure it gets its message across.

I decided to sit and think about this in the bath. It wasn't a deep meditation - I just let my mind wander and decided to see where it took me. The first thing I noticed was I was seeing variety of colours. I think I saw every chakra colour in the correct order from base to crown. Seeing purple when I am NOT doing reiki is rare. I decided it was time for me to get more ambitious with my tarot readings. I need to do larger spreads. I decided I would do a 12 card spread for Tony for the next month. By pure chance (if anything happens by chance) I did some 5 card readings for my son. I will do a celtic cross reading for Tony in a bit.

I think now I have got to level 2 in reiki I am being told I need to use tarot as a route to open up my ability to do psychic readings which will help in my reiki - and maybe open myself up to medium ship.

Know thyself

I have no idea where this thought has come from, but I know and understand that self knowledge is the key to self development. I feel I need to put down on paper (well OK on the internet!!) what I truly know about myself. So here goes.............

I lack self confidence and this can sometimes make me act aggressively as I overcompensate.

Whenever I get and unexpected letter of phone call my initial response is always worry. I wonder what I have done wrong.

When I make a mistake I really REALLY beat myself up about it mentally.

When things go wrong I think and act as if the people affected will blame me - because I always think I could have done something differently /better to prevent the problem.

When I try something new I never think I will be any good at it.

I have difficulty letting go of an argument. I am always trying so hard to justify my viewpoint - especially if deep down I know the other person has a point.

OK so what are the positive things I can say about myself.

I am a good mother. I am so proud of the way Steve has turned out. And I am so proud of how our relationship has matured as he has matured.

I am a good pharmacist. I got told by accident on Friday that the hospital think very highly of me. It was mentioned by the agency in passing.

I am a good communicator.

I am a loyal friend

I am generous almost to the point of feeling exploited at times

I have just made a tarot pick asking about this blog post and got the 3 of swords. It is difficult to see how the meaning of that cards fits into this entry. The proper divinatory meaning is sorrow at the end of something but hope for the future. That could mean I am finally able to move beyond the sorrows of the last two years. But the two words that came into my mind were 'love' and 'thought' I think the love is the love my guides have for me. And I think the thought is the thought I need to put into knowing and understanding who I really am and what I am going to do.

The OU task I did earlier on the week was to write 10 statements beginning 'I am" and then reflect on what your thoughts about the statements were. It wasn't a coincidence I changed my mind about reading further in the book before I had finished my essay. It all fits.

I AM being prompted to e honest about myself . To really be honest about my strengths and weaknesses , to see how I can best and most successfully progress on this road.

There is no doubt my biggest weakness is my lack of belief in myself. Maybe the 'love' is the love I need to have for myself. Now there's an interesting thought.

I am being told to apply the 5 reiki principles to myself. I need to be honest, respectful and compassionate to myself as well as trying not to worry or get angry.

I need to meditate on this tomorrow.

Meditation

Now I am no longer self healing I need to get into a routine with meditation. This morning I did my tarot pock (6 wands so I decided against submitting a letter I had drafted about spirituality in the profession) I used my pendant to ask if I my chakra's are balanced (yes) Do ineed to self heal (no) do I need to carry any crystals with me (no)
In fact I AM carrying crystals. I decided to carry my meditation crystals and my pendant with me.

I did a short meditation and found myself climbing the cloud steps again and floating on a clod going in no particular direction and I got the impression it is up to me where I go.

I think the routine with the pendant is a good one to get into.