We are at a psychic fayre today and need to make an early start so the meditation room is bare and doens't feel right. So I am using the blogging technique to clear my thoughts and get some inspiration.

Yesterday we went into S and J jewellers so I could by the Archangel Michael deck. It turned out we had both read for all the staff at the psychic fayre last Sunday. They must have been pleased with the readings because we got discount on the decks we bought. It was an unexpected - but very welcome validation for both of us. If the redaings had been bad, we would have paid full price. Tony had read for the man, and realised he had been spot on when he sensed he was connected with cards but didnt use them.

And yesterday I also got my certificates from Nick so I can officially advertise and charge for hypnotherapy. I was on cloud 9 when I got them,

Today is the all day fayre followed by a ghost hunt as part of the Alcester Ghost festival. Everyhting is all packed up. The KW sign is attached to some hardoard. and I am both excited and worried.

But I know I need to just relax and trust spirit to come through with the message. I am offering crystal readings again - I boght some new crystals yesterday - so I am hopeful they will be a draw. I am also offering reiki - and I really hope I get some takers for that. I am sure I need to give more reiki before I will be allowed to progress to teach.

I have just had a clear thought that I need to soem self healing before I go down. So I must stop this, have some breakfast (I am really hungry) and go and do just that

I was faced with a block yesterday. I asked Sue if I could substitute Caz for Tony in the deal she made me. Draw up a reiki 1 manual, teach Tony, and she would do the attunement free, She has refused for reasons I can understand. She was pretty sure Tony wouldn't actually take it beyond level one - and she is right. her concern is that if her name is on the lineage of someone who turns into a rogue healer, it looks bad on her.

However of course she then asked me if I am making any progress towards sensing the energy better. And I am not I don't think. I have told her I need to give more reiki and work on my meditation. I am wondering what her reply will be.

I feel very down that I am making so little progress with the reiki. I haven't given any reiki for over 2 weeks and I can always find reasons why I haven't got time to self heal.

I need to meditate on this - and will do so later today. I can't do it this morning becasue Steve is coming round for some life coaching - and it could be as early as 9 knowing him - and its already 8.10.

I must remember the quiet times devoid of wow moments are when we are learning. If I meant to teach reiki, I will get there.

Today Krystal Wolf had its first proper outing at a psychic fayre. At the third attempt (1 with no customers and one that got cancelled) we had a very successful time at a psychic fayre. We were both busy most of the afternoon and I had some real wow moments with reactions to my readings. I was doing a crystal reading for one lady and correctly told her that she had been a mother figure to her younger sisters since their mother dies when the lady was 16. She look amazed ( and so was I)

It was a wonderful afternoon and I learned a lot from it. Next Saturday we have another psychic fayre as part of the Alcester Ghost Festival and I am looking forward to it already

I did my spiritual exercises before I did anything else today (well once cat feeding etc was done)

I did a pick from the tarot deck and got the 5 of pentacles. The text in the book talks about this card meaning loss of self worth and self esteem. very apt after my post investigation feelings,

I realised that when I am praying I do get totally lost in the activity. In a way I am in a trance. Maybe when my thoughts wander they are tasking me to useful places.

I haven't actively meditated - I am using this blog as a sort of meditation. What did the 5 of pentacles tell me? I have a lot more than I realise. The 5 indicates tension and anxiety - spot on. I have self esteem problems - no **** sherlock. The beggar on the card stays out in the snow even though he could go into the church behind. It is his choice to stay out because he believes he isn't worthy. This has a horribly familiar ring to it.

But I got an interesting thought while I was upstairs, I do no-one any service at all by underestimating my abilities - ;east of all those who could benefit from my work. If I don't have confidence in myself - why should they?

I feel I am being given a firm but gentle spiritual kick up the backside!

Lets be honest. Last nights investigation left me feeling jealous and insecure. In a location that promised a lot, it all went very flat for our group while the group Tony was in had lots of activity. And Tony himself did his best David Wells/ David Acorah impression by talking to a spirit that tried to actually channel through him. And the information he got was confirmed as accurate. I was left feeling very down and thinking 'why can't I do that'

Actually the question should be 'why do I want to do that?' And the answer sadly is that type of mediumship is so much more impressive than than anything I can do. Knowing I can do hypnotherapy and reiki when Tony can't is very little consolation when I am having problems finding me who want to sue those skills.

I was too tired to meditate this morning but I did do some card picks. AYG gave me exhaustion, deprivation and business. I decided to make a pick from Law f Attraction and got ' I am not here to create sameness'

So what can I take from this.

1) I am not meant to do the same as Tony, I do what I do as well as he does what he does.
2) I am trying too hard
3) I am being unfair and mean by resenting his abilities
4) Together our relationship will build a successful business

Last night we did enough readings to pay back the cost of one of the tickets. Next weekend we have a psychic fayre and the following weekend is the Alcester Ghost festival when we will be doing MORE readings

Things are really going quite for BOTH of use - and I have no reason to be down

I have had odd dreams the past few nights. Most fade quickly but one has stuck with me so I feel it is significant. I was pulling some black plastic taps out of my mouth. It was long and was obviously a long way down in my insides. Sometimes it was all tangles up an knotted. I woke before I pulled it all out.

My meditation this morning was interesting. I ended up at the castle. Eli was waiting for me outside the room. I went in and looked rouns the room and it was full of books. I went o look through a large window on the right hand wall. It looked over a hilly landscape.

I was amazed by how many books in the room. Peter was behind the desk (in its usual place in fron of the window on the left hand wall. I sat down and I saw a quill pen.

I have been reading the book I got on scrying. It is a strange mix of the philosophical and psychological. He accepts that the messages received may be from our subconcious - but talks quite happily about magic rituals. he does give soem helpful exercises to help you get the right focus in your mind when you are scrying. The first one is to visualise a simple object in your third eye. I have already been doing this by using the image of my moonstone as pasrt of my preparation to clear my mind. I cna fele my third eye tingle the moment I close my eyes and see that image so I knwo I am on the right track. he also talks about an astral space mirroring the physical space. So this morning I 'saw' my chair and alter in another space rather like Karl's white room exercise. And I just mentally asked for help over the way I found myself thinking about phoning in sick. I got the helpful thoguth that my self image is limiting me. Not that is definitely something to think about