I haven't done any serious spiritual work for a few days. Although I did do a wonderful meditation On Wednesday or Thursday when I saw Thomas in the cottage. It was decorated for Christmas with a HUGE old fashioned tree. I got the clear message tat Christmas is a time of renewal and I needed to relax and enjoy myself. And I have done. Iwas very chilled on Christmas eve and Christmas day. I didn't stress about the preparations, and the dinner was a triumph with nothing forgotten or burned. This morning I have meditated and tried to a reading about Steve's job prospects. the cards I got were fascinating 6 of swords, 3 of swords, 3 of wands, 9 of swords and King of wands. the feeling I got was that he is in for a rocky ride but things will work out in the end. And I got the number 9. Now there are 4 ways of making the number nine from the cards I got . I was wondering if 9 meant 9 weeks or 9 months before he got a job. If it is a time its 9 months. (4 ways of making 9 = number of weeks in a month) Now that could be about right if the teaching assistant thing is going to work out. But I think he is going to need some support for the next few months as he will either have no job - or unsatisfying jobs. I picked a card for me from Michael - and got explore your options. I meditated and saw the cottage with Thomas, jenny Jonas and Eli. I got the idea of the CKR symbol trying all my possible options together - and got the message the key my spiritual development.

Fire

I have had a lot of fiery images recently. All the wands in Moira's reading. The image of a burnt out landscape with new growth, and this morning I had one of my waking visions. I saw the same image three times, A baby being held by a stylized phoemix. I think all the fire is positive - but it does imply sudden and maybe painful change. But getting that image today is interesting. Steve has an interview today - and this morning Tony has his test reading for 886. I did a pick from my Michael deck and one card fell out. It was all about staying positive and the power of positive thought. I know I can tend to be negative. Today I am going to be as positive as I can be. Whatver the outcome of todays events I am sure great things are in store for our family

For some reason the idea of sitting upstairs and going through my usual routine this morning feels impossible. So I am using the 'blog as meditation' technique. OK lets start with the reiki principles. 'Do not worry' so what am I worried about that I shouldn't be? A number of things spring to mind. Health, money, Steve,work. But the main issue worrying me is can I continue to work as a pharmacist? Do I believe in the drugs I give out any more? I think the answer to that is a qualified yes. I am never going to advise anyone NOT to have chemo, or NOT to take pain killers, antibiotics etc...... the real life changing drugs. But I am fed up with the polypharmacy of the lifestyle drugs. Thinking about the majority of my pharmacy work, it is a lot of painkillers, and life enhancing procedures. Hip replacements , cataract surgery. So I can feel I am doing good at ROH and Little Aston. In a community pharmacy I wouldn't feel that way. 'Do not get angry' The only things I get angry about are when I feel passionate about something. Injustice is my driving force I think. And frustration when I I can't get my point across. Its no contest that pharmacy forums are the biggest source of frustration for me. That is easily solved - don't go on them. "Be honest and hard working' Apparently we all lie several times a day. Maybe today I ought to monitor myself carefully to find out when and why I do. Hard working - I like to think I am - but the pile of unsorted laundry says otherwise. At work I am hard working. 'Be humble and respectful' This can also be interpreted as being grateful. I sometimes think I am not respectful of other peoples views and ideas - but at other times I defer too much - it is easy for me to become a doormat. 'Be compassionate' Thats one I feel I don;t have a problem with. Maybe that means its the one I need to focus on? I am very discontent with my pharmacist role, frustrated because my reiki/hypnotherapy isn't developing. 'Frustrated' does it make me angry? I hadn't considered that before. I think it can make me angry with myself - which is probably the most futile of situations - and is against every reiki principle. It worries me, I haven't been honest about I feel, and is not showing myself compassion. 'Compassion' - it contains the word 'passion' - a word I used earlier when discussing anger. What is 'compassion'? Truly I hadn't seen this train of thought when I suggested I might need to focus on compassion - but I have now come to the same conclusion from a totally different route. Can I find 'compassion' within pharmacy? Am I meant to be still mainly working as a pharmacist? I know my scientific and spiritual sides are necessary for me. The word 'balance' just popped into my head. Clare mentioned 'balance' during my hypnotherapy session. is that the problem? Am I out of balance at the moment? If I am , what do I need to do to 'balance' things and what do I need to balance? Although I am now just finding questions I need to answer I do think this blog entry is helping me. i do seem to be getting somewhere. Do I need to really LIVE and understand the reiki principles before I can build up a practice? Now that IS an interesting thought.

Full of beans?

My card for today is beans and I can't find the deck to look at the interpretation. ut this morning I seem to be full of ideas which I feel probably fits with the meaning of the card. And I was acting on the ideas BEFORE I reminded myself what card I picked for today.

Tuesday 63 Earth Wednesday 6 Thunder Moon Time to follow up on the events of the last couple of days and how the cards fit - or don't. Yesterday (Tuesday) Clare came down and we went round the german market. Then she came back here - had a reading with Tony, and then did some hypnotherapy on me. She had a dreadful cold tho. Earth is feminine - and mother. It is all about life and nurturing. Well I had to look after Clare - and she helped me learn about myself. Earth is also about being the beginning point of shamanic journeys. Well that fits with the hypnotherapy session I had with her Today has been my regular day the hospice. I only ad one patient in the end - but I had a lot of people who asked me for my card when I mentioned the readings/mediumship side of Krystal Wolf. Thunder Moon says 'service to others is emphasised. So that fits.

Bear

That was the card I picked yesterday as part of the 7 day array. So Bear is seen as being Masculine and Fire. Fire again - fits with the wands of my reading on Saturday and my dreams the other night Bear is healing and intuitive, curious and reflective - well that sounds like me . 'By letting me lumber into your life today you are accepting the dynamic power of my medicine. ' Interesting as today I am going for an ultrasound on my bladder I meditated this morning for peace and calm. I walked through my forest and saw a daisy growing among the autumn leaves. I came to a place where the path split and I could chose to go to the temple, the castle or the cottage. I was directed to go to the temple where I just sat. The temple is the most peaceful and calm of my meditation places. I feel peaceful - and despite the upcoming ultrasound with its need for a full bladder (1 litre of fluid in the hour before the scan) I feel quite calm. I saw Archnagel Rahael in the temple. I think its a sign that he is with me today.

Cards for this week

OK I am trying something new. I have done a 7 card array from the Shaman Wisdom Cards deck . Each card represents guidance/wisdom etc for the week ahead. So the cards I pulled - starting for today are Sunday 24 Wolf Monday 21 Bear Tuesday 63 Earth Wednesday 6 Thunder Moon Thursday 33 Beans Friday 10 Long night moon Saturday 57 Jasper I will come back and amend this post each day and try to work out if the card has been apt or not. One thing I will say - The name of the Friday card is apt given that I am meant to be doing Creaky Friday night! Wolf is Masculine and Water - apt since I am a pisces. Wolf is a wise leader, he is loyal and loving. I think Tony needed to be all of those things as he sorted out his inner crisis. And of course he is the Wolf or Krystal Wolf. I guess that just shoes how intertwined we are as a couple and as healers. Wolf is a pathfinder and leads the way - well that fits with my reading . I am the leader in pulling KW along 'I am setting the stage for long term relationships in your life either in your career or you home' Wow - again that fits so well with the reading I had . And I do feel we turned a corner for KW and in our relationship over the past few days - with the crucial day being Sunday - when I drew the cards.