Sometimes things just happen.

Thats how it feels today. I got an unexpected call from HMP Birmingham asking about my availability for work. It looks as if they have some dates for me in July. Suddenly I have enough work for the whole of July - having had NO offers while I was having my operation and treatment. I think I was on the wrong track before. I was thinking I needed to stop working as a pharmacist. I think what I needed to stop was WORRYING about how much work I would get.

I haven't mediated yet today although I have prayed and done my reiki principles. I got the idea that I should meditate tonight. Because of a trip to the doctor I didn't get round to my meditation etc until quite late in the day.

My cards are very interesting.

3 of Pentacles - again - from my Tarot deck

Awakening your true self and Honouring your true feelings from my Fairy deck

Jesus the Divine Healer and Forgiveness Heals from my Raphael deck

So the 3 of Pentacles is confirming the foundations are complete - but there is still more to do . No problem with that

The cards from the Fairy deck I think are telling me I need to be myself.

The Raphel cards have me thinking - and I think I need to meditate on then - whihc is probably why I got the idea about meditating later on. They could be confirming I am on the right path, that Jesus is with me in my healing work, but I think the healng is aimed at me - and I think I need to forgive someone but I am not sure who. Or it could be I need to ASK for forgiveness from someone - and I am not sure who.

An amazing day

Today I was doing my volunteering at the hospice. I only did 3 treatments but they were all amazing. My first patient was incredibly spiritual, using cards (archangel raphael cards!) and meditation cds - although he said he was having problems meditating since coming into the hospice. His father's girlfriend had given him spiritual healing in the past, and during the treatment he started rummaging around in his bag for a crystal he suddenly felt an urge to hold. Because he was so open I was able to be more openly spiritual than I normally am. He reacted when I started treating his throat, and at the end of the treatment I decided he was so open to things psychic that I could risk telling him that I felt he had something that he needed to tell someone - and that it was important he did so. I wasn't totally on the mark - but he did say he needed to talk to the police about something and that it would help to clear someone's name - but at the moment he couldn't talk to the police.

My second patient was a home treatment (first of many I hope) She was pragmatic, not religous but spiritual in her own way. She ended up in tears at one point - and personally I think she got more benefit from the talking than form the reiki - but that is still part of my healing work.

My third patient was an out patient who had had reaiki before but over a year ago. During the treatment I sensed more energy going into her right leg than her left so at the end of the session I asked if she was having problems with her leg and she said it had started aching. Based on her medical history I suggested it was probably nothing but that to be on the safe side she should mention it to her GP. During the treatment I also found myself usign a very unusual hand positon - one hand on either side of her lower abdomen. It turns out she is seeing a gynaecologist with a view to having a hysterectomy.

I always find it very humbling when I pick up things during a treatment like that.

Both the patients I treated at the hopsice want treatmentsts next week

Building a new life

I have had my operation, I have had my radio-iodine treatment, and we have been away on holiday. So now I am at the start of a new era in my life - and hopefully I can move on with things. Trouble is I am unsure what to focus on. Up till now I have always felt my spiritual work was something to do in my spare time. I was focussing on finding enough pharmacy work to keep me going financially while I dabbled in reiki and hypnotherapy. But I am no longer sure that is the best way. My meditation yesterday gave me the idea that keeping on with pharmacy is keeping me on the autumn side of the path.

Yesterday I did a tarot reading for myself asking for a reading if I stopped working as a pharmacist. I also asked Tony to do a reading using his goddess cards asking the same question. Both seemed positive - and the cards that Tony got indicated I needed to keep up with this blog (Tony I hope you are reading this!!!)

I decided to pull some cards for guidance - and decided to turn the tv off and put some nice music on while I did the cards. I used three decks. Raphael, Fairy and Tarot

One card fell out of the Raphael deck so I took that as my pick - and it was 'exercise' As I gad already done 30 minutes on the wii-fit this morning I took that as endorsement of my decision that I need to exercise more. In fact before I got up this morning I found myself thinking about going for a walk in the park. So I am guessing I had those thoughts in response to some gentle spiritual prompting

The Fairy deck gave me 'Make Music' That I am taking as endorsement of my decision to play some music. I bought a new CD called 'sound massage' while we were on holiday and that is what I am playing as I type this. I also wonder if I am being told to use music more with my healing.

My tarot cards were

The Devil
3 of Wands
3 or Pentacles

So something has come to an iniital completion - but thee is more to do. I don;t find that frustrating - I just want to be sure I am doing the right things. And that does feel like a reasonable description of how I feel at the moment.

Wands is creativity - and that backs up one of the cards Tony got during my reading yesterday. Pentacles is finances - and certainly finance is a critical factor in my decisions. Financially do I NEED to continue working as a pharmacist? But it is The Devil that has me fascinated. What am I repressing? What do I need to explore about my inner self? Is it telling me working as a pharmacist is repressing my spiritual work?

I need to meditate on that.

Later

I have meditated on that card. I found myself flying and able to see how all the 'places' I use in my meditations fit together. Basically the path runs from my 'safe glade' to my 'castle room' then branches one way goes to my 'moroccan house' and the other goes to my 'temple of dreams' I got the idea that my dreams are key to my role as a healer. I also got the idea that I am repressing my dreamer side and that this could be hindering my work as a healer. The Moroccan house is where I often see my reiki guide and where I tend to get my best info on patients - this is why I feel it represents my work as a healer.

So is my practical side - the one that feels I need to keep working as a pharmacist - actually hindering my healer side?

One of the cards Tony pulled for me yesterday was about taking risks. Is that the risk I have to take?

I had an amazing half hour of prayer meditation and reiki self healing this morning. In my meditation this time I went on to the autumn side of the path. Penny was there with me - then suddenly the fire elemental I saw yesterday was there and all the leaves were burning up - in fact the whole landscape burned up - tore a whole in the view and through it I could see my temple of dreams.

I went in - and the image on the stained glass window was of Christ standing with his arms open welcoming me. The pews were full. Normally I walk up to the front but something kept me at the back and I decided to do some reiki self healing. My thoughts kept wandering during the reiki - but when I had finished I went back to the temple and I was still standing at the back. I turned and walked out - with the clear idea that all that was waiting for me in the temple will still be there for me once I am over my treatment. But I know my creativity will be needed in some way. I just have to work out how

Elements

I wasn't planning on a long meditation today - and it wasn't but I did get some surprising images. I was going to my safe place and while walking through the forest I saw a stylised flame that came onto my hand for a moment then danced away. I entered my safe glade and the portcullis came down behind me. I looked round the glade and saw the hedge. the path and the other gate - which closed as I looked at it. I also saw a fountain (the green fountain from FV!!) and went over to have a drink. I realised it was emerald green - and thought Raphael. Then I felt a breeze and realised I was standing on the earth and saw I had all four elements present. I went and sat down on the bench and grounded myself and almost turned into a tree and got the idea that even a gale couldn't blow me over.

I wonder why the fire was outside the glade? I am not sure what this meditation means . Does it mean I have balance or need balance? I am sure I was being told I am strong enough to cope as long as I am balanced.

This needs more thought

Its all in the cards

The other day I did a meditation and it was very interesting. I was walking through my forest, and realised on the left of the path it was autumn leaves while on the right it was spring grass. I decided to see what I would find on the spring side and ended up walking down some steps into a hollow with a stream running through it and a bed by the stream. I lay down and the top of the hollow got covered over by bushes. I got up and had to pull myself up a rope ladder to get out.

I aske don one the FB groups for some advice and got told it could be a new beginning which is probably true. However I realised I had the feeling of choice. I chose to explore the spring side. I decided I needed to re-visit the meditation again. However I also decided to ask Tony for a reading. One of the cards that came out was 'meditate' and another was 'write' He also pulled 'prioritise' . His reading was that I need to decide what my priorities and concentrate on them. He also pointed out I hadn't made a blog entry for some time.

I tried to reviist the meditation again this morning and this time took the path ahead. It wasn't a clear meditation but I found myself running and leaping a gate, but then it all went unclear and I couldn't get any clear images except maybe standing on a cliff. Hmm But trying that meditation on a morning when I am rushing to get out wasn't the best idea really was it.

I really do need to get back to blogging again. I haven't done much in either blog for ages. Bloging is a sign of discipline and I think that is what I lack sometimes

Swan totem?

Yesterday morning I made a feeble attempt at meditation that got nowhere because I couldn't focus. I ended up juts doing Chris's rose visualisation , closing the curtain on it, then opening it to see what image I got. I got a swan.

I decided to ask on FB if anyone could give me a clue what it meant and got told it might be my totem animal. I also got told swan's can access dreamtime and indicates the ability to predict the future. Now although I would love to have that ability I don't believe it exists. When the psychics on 886 predict important events linked to a certain name )sometimes even a specific day) I am always very sceptical - and I wonder how many recipients of the messages get disappointed if/when they don't happen. But there is also a link to healing so I decided I couldn't dismiss the swan image as one from my imagination. It was nexpected - and for me that is a sign I am not imagining it.

So last night I decided to meditate before I went to sleep and see if I could get any further information about the swan. I was in my forest and found myself sitting by a small river with a swan on the water being very friendly towards me - head butting me like a cat, putting its head in my lap. I then linked the access to dreamtime and the ability to predict the future- and found myself thinking about my waking visions when I see writing.

I predicted to myself that I would have a waking vision and this time I would be able to read the writing. Deep breath - I did and I could. Just one word 'interrupt'

Wow.................................

I am now wondering what (if anything) I can do to make use of this and understand it better. I suspect nothing except create a stronger link so an messages can come through clearer.

Is the swan my totem? I have no idea. Do I have a totem at all? I have no idea. Four animals have appeared in my meditations at different times. Penny, a wolf, a robin, and now a swan. These last two are very recent - within the past week. They could all mean something or nothing - but I suspect they do all have a meaning on some level even if I don't believe in animal guides and/or totems.

Now the odd thing is I have never seen a cat - which is the logical animal for my subconscious to pick since my first close contact with an animal was with a cat (RIP TIddles - our neighbour's cat)