Crosses

I dreamed about crosses this morning. I think they were burning and I know I was worried about that- but the dream is very unclear. I tried to think about what it meant on the walk to work - but didn;t get any real inspiration apart from remembering H is a roscrucian........ But I don't think I can just ask him about his beleifs. I don;t know him that well. I did some self healing combined with recitation of my principles. I then did try to meditate. I was back in the corridor and this time I saw there was a door behind the mirror. I opened it and it was dark. But my inner light provided some illumination. I was in a forest I think. I am sure Thomas and Jenny were there - and maybe MAYBE Marie (if that is her name (and she exists) as well. I just got the idea I need to practice ..... and practice....... and practice.........

Meditation in a hurry

I overslept - but I still made time to meditate before going to work today. Blogging has had to wait until evening.I basically just recited my principles and did some self healing. but interestingly I saw DKM as red . And I thought - fire and creativity . I can't remember anything significant from the meditation. I tied to visualise a crystal to help open my third eye. .

The light within

I had a fascinating and humbling mediation this morning. I started with the reiki principles then did some self healing. Then I mediated. I held a moonstone and I set my intention as confidence to move forward. I saw myself in a long corridor with a light shining at the end. The corridor was marble and long. As I walked along there were doors. I found a red door marked 'anger' I opened the door and inside it was dark and chaotic - and reminded me of a disco - the sort of place I would have gone when I was young.. I started wondering if I am angry at myself for wasting so much of life. But then I got the reminder that my pharmacy training underpins my reiki and hypnotherapy. I then saw a purple door marked guilt - and I couldn't look inside. I walked on and noticed the floor was marble shot through with black - a reminder that humans are not perfect. Then I saw at the end of the corridor was a mirror - and the light I could see was the light comign FROM me being reflected back at me. It was one of those moments like getting a rock from Thomas that I KNOW came from outside I was reminded about the meditation I did during my reiki 3 training when Eli said I will be a diamond. I also got the thought that I am not ready to meet my new guide yet - although I have the feeling she is french and is called Marie. And I am wondering if this a pointer the fact the real Marie I know has things to teach me. She certainly got me into angels. I also got the clear message that I need to practice opening my third eye chakra. I tried opening it and saw a mountain against a blue sky. The mountain I have to climb - one step at a time.

I tired to meditate this morning - with some success. I do think I have a new guide. I went to my cottage and there were 3 chairs by the fire not two. Also I was aware the back door was locked and I had to unlock it so my new guide could come in. I think my new guide is female - and her name might even be Marie - but having had that idea put into my head by the seance at the Witch as few weeks ago I don't trust that. But maybe thats part of my problem. When I started my meditation I set my intention as confidence. I found myself saying confidence as I drew CKR. Does that mean anything? I found myself thinking about do not worry a lot - but I also found myself thinking about ideas to promote Tony's work as well as mine. Was that me worrying = or was it images of what I should be doing? I do think unlocking the door is symbolic of the fact I have unlock the abilities in myself .....by meditation and practice I guess. Why did I link confidence to CKR? That is something to think about. I need to use the symbols more in my daily life. CKR feel very much MY symbol. Now that is something to meditate on

Hmmmm where do I go from here?

OK its time for the blog as meditation. I am just going to type and see what comes out. I am stuck - sort of. My meditations told me things would start moving for me in the spring. I realised that marrying Tony drew a line under the events since 2008 - with a strange symmetry since Tony proposed in 2007 after I Paul McKenna'd myself. And it was what I learned from the Paul McKenna book that set me off on the path of psychic development in the first place. So it all kind of fits......... But over the past few days I have kept getting the message that I am own worst enemy - and last night I went to the Angel Meditation group with Marie and got told something I have heard a lot before that I block my own development. I could BE clairvoyant/clairaudient if I just LET myself. But I don't believe half the things I do, and don't trust myself to interpret the information correctly. So lest take a calm look at what I have been learning about myself and work out how it fits together - and what I can do about it First thing is I lack confidence in myself and I need affirmation from others to believe in myself. Pam at work doesn't trust me - not personal as she doesn't trust anyone. But it drove me to have a major attack of the munchies. Cookies and a doughnut. Sabotaging my attempts to slim down and more importantly stay healthy. Second thing is I lack confidence in my abilities as a psychic. I need affirmation from others to convince me. I realised last night during the meditation that blocking my abilities - which others seem to feel could be so great - GIVES me affirmation. I tell them what I THINK I am, they tell me what I ACTUALLY am or could be if I stopped blocking myself. I get the affirmation I need that I AM psychic . If I DID develop would I get that affirmation? Third thing is why do I need affirmation from outside sources anyway ? Why do I lack the confidence to affirm MYSELF? That is simple - my self image is damaged. I just don;t SEE myself as slim. I just don't SEE myself as clairvoyant. And to cap it all I have a headache, neck muscles that feel like boards, and have my cystitis that isn't back again. And last night for the first time in ages my back started playing up - although thankfully that has gone away today. The headache is linked to work at the hospital. I had a corking headache on Tuesday. Sould I give up work there? OK I took a break ,got a phone call from a friend with some good news, cooked dinner and am just drinking my post meal coffee. The phone call heard me saying to Martyn 'the world is your oyster' I did 3 readings the other weekend - the all pulled 'The World' and I told all of them it meant the world was their oyster. I then got the idea that the same message was meant for me. repeating that phrase again to Martyn (and I didn't remember until after I said it) re-enforced that I am on the right path. That is something I CAN have confidence about.So I posted an 'up boys and at em' type of status - and my headache diminished. The muscles in my neck are still tight but just declaring 'Look out world Sally is coming' felt so GOOD. Tony meditated this afternoon after I reminded him he should meditate more regularly. It went well and he got some interesting images. But my attempt to meditate this morning did not go well. But I have meditated via this blog and clearly something has sneaked into my subconscious. OK I know I am on the right path. But like Tony I haven't been mediating as often as I should. Thats GOT to be the thing I need to focus on. I need to focus on developing as much as I can. I can meditate to give myself confidence. Now THERE"S a thought............

Needing a spiritual kick

I am sure if I took the time to meditate I would get an image of Thomas kicking me. I do feel I have let things slide. But I purchased two meditation CD's from Spiritus during the investigation and I AM going to use them over the weekend, However I haven;t just been standing still. I have started trying to use reiki symbols in daily life. There was a discussion on a FB group about things like using DKM in the shower and SHK on your pillow when you go to bed. I have tried DKM in the shower to energise myself - and actually I am feeling more positive if not more energetic. I keep forgetting SHK on my pillow. I still feel frustrated by my lack of progress both spiritually and in developing the business. But I have had several pointers to changes in the spring. I think I need to keep and going, but be patient

I have been away on holiday - and to be honest a bit too bust to do much blogging here but I must record yesterdays interesting meditation. It was my first for over a week. I decided to ask for a card to mediate on and got the 7 of cups - a card I know well. But for some reason my attention was drawn to the hooded figure in the centre and I realised I didn't know what or who that was. I checked the book and found it was my true self. So I decided to go to my cottage to ask to see my true self. I entered and saw a full length mirror covered in a sheet held by Thomas and Jenny. When they dropped it I saw me in jeans a jumper looking very ordinary - but slimmer. And I realised that I have find my true self. I am me, as I am , as I am meant to be with no need to apologise to anyone for who or what I am. I have found my true self with this mix f skills and talents and work. I am me and have no need to apologise to anyone for what I am. I now also realise this means I can stop being defensive with people who I may think are critical - probably on very little evidence. I can be happy in my own skin And I have just looked bacj through my blog. Check out my entry on 13/1/12...............