I went to the Sapling Bards Imbolc ritual yesterday with Angie from circle. It was an interesting experience and clearly a lot of Christina ritual has been based on Druid/Wicca/Pagan ritual.The circle was consecrated with water and fire- something I would not see in a church- but then the whole circle shared mead bread and foo - something I would see. The who circle was blessed with blessed water - something that happens to every child at its christening. So what does this mean for what I believe? Well really nothing. I already knew the early church had adapted pagan rituals and festivals to attract them into the churches. And frankly after yesterday I can see the advantage of celebrating in a building in a cold weather. Fire and water food and drink were the absolute necessities of life in the dark ages. So it isn't surprising that their are rituals including them in the bible.So it would have been natural to include them in the Passover celebrations that embrace the crucifixion story. I have to believe in the power of the Lords Prayer - I saw that for myself one ghost hunt when it really annoyed something nasty trying to come through the portal at the Whispering Witch.And it wasn't psychological because I wasn't expecting have any effect. I certainly wasn't reciting it out of fear................ So am I still a Christian? Well yes in that believe in the existence of Jesus son of Joseph and Mary. Do I think the council of Nicea that set up so much of what now constitutes orthodox christianity was inspired by God? No I believe it was more inspired by politics - with the best of intentions. I know the bible was 'censored' to exclude writings that didn't agree with the the Christians wanted to say. I believe in one supreme power - but I can accept that all the deities from other traditions are aspects of that supreme power. In fact is the concept of one supreme God and his angels simply a recognition of the fact that God has to have different aspects? I don't know - and I don't think anyone can know. But I do know there is a basic 'goodness' that can help determine what is right and what is wrong. Do I believe in the basic laws of the Ten Commandments tho? Well yes. They codify what is right and just - and do include 'Thought shelf have no other gods' If I believe in a supreme power what do I make of yesterdays ritual that mention Bridget a lot? Carol dedicated her sip at the mead horn to Bridget, Dave to Loki. I wonder why he chose Loki. But Bridget's festival is Imbolc and interestingly she is a healer and a reader. Now how spooky is it that my first ritual is dedicated to the pagan goddess I would probably take as my own. ButI know this is not because I am being called to Drudism. I know I am being prompted to decdie what I truly believe in. How fascinating...........

Wow last nights circle was eventful for all the wrong reasons. Freda's chair collapsed under her at a time when a couple of people sensed some nasty energy in the room. Amber was getting some disturbing images and messages from her guide....and we realised we have become complacent. I haven't done my normal pre-circle ritual with reiki in the room, and we have neglected to do the normal grounding and protection we used to do at the start of the circle. Is it a coincidence that this has happened at a time when I am worried about needing to get back to basics in my own spirituals journey? Maybe or maybe not. I don't know. But I am not taking the whole package very seriously. Whether its psychic or psychological something needs to be done. I have been spending too much time focussed on pharmacy. Well next month I have NO pharmacy work and I WILL deal with all this

I meditated this morning to the solfeggo harmonic again. I haven't self healed for 2 days tho. I am tired - but I suspect I am spending energy on unproductive things like worry. My mantra this morning was peace and calm - plus I imagine Pam wrapped in a pink fluffy bubble! My carc is thw 2 of swords. I need balance in my thoughts. My crystal is orange cats eye. Orange for the solar plexus chakra which is undoubtedly one that needs support as I am quite tired - except of course orange is for the sacral chakra and I know that. Is that the closest to yellow I have? or is it my sacral chakra that needs support? Not sure. It is a vibrant orange and maybe a symbol of the vibrancy I need. I am at ROH today. I will need all the vibrancy I can get , except by thinking like that I am setting myself up for a bad day there. Thank good ness this is the last week I am there for a bit.

Yesterday I went to to visit Clare and I realised we both have the same issue. Both of us get too caught up in daily things before we do things like meditation and self healing. So I suggested we challenge ourselves for the next week to do these things first. I actually did some healing when I went to bed last night. This morning I have listened to the Solfeggio harmonic and done a simple meditation. Just focussing on peace and calm. And I got the insight that lack of peace and calm can rob me of energy. I have picked a crystal. No idea what it is but I actually don't care. I have picked a card and got the eight of wands. This shows a ma firing 8 arrows into the air. 8 is always about hard work and I think this is telling me not that it will be hard work - but that I can do it. The wand with their link to creativity are telling me I am only limited by my imagination. Tiem to start thinking BIG.

After yesterdays decision to get back to basics I have decided to start with the first exercise David suggests. Finding out who I am. Yes I know did this over 5 years ago when I first read Change your life in 7 days and started off on this journey. But I am not the person I was then so sitting down and doing again makes sense. It will make sure I stay on track. I wrote a guided meditation for the circle and it put them on a path that represented their spiritual progress. The first thing I got them to do was look back and see how far they had come. Well this is my way of looking back. So since I am doing this the David Wells way I am going to start by looking at what my sun sign tells me about myself. 'A natural intuitive you are likely to be highly perceptive already, but structure is required if you are to make the most of yourself and that isn't always welcome is it?' Actually I know I need structure but I seem incapable of getting it. David goes on to talk about the fish swimming in two directions being a sign of lack of direction - but more often because I tend to put others needs before mine. Now that is SO true. Thats why I find it so hard to say 'no' when I am offered pharmacy work. I somehow always seem to prioritise other things above my spiritual (and indeed physical!) exercise. It may be just me being a typical pisces - but I need to acknowledge this weakness and work round it if I am going to get anywhere. David talks about planning time to do it in advance - letting everyone know. Well thats sort of what I did when I put the CPD in my diary. If I put a slot in every day for spiritual and physical exercise it will get done. i will give it priority. In fact i can meditate as `i exercise. David then talks about grounding being important for me - finding practical applications for what I can do. He even says I am likely to be good at 'hands on' healing. That seems very true to me. I DO feel the need to use what I can do to help others - but I am reluctant to sue it to help myself. Thats why I always duck self healing. My piscean tendencies are causing me to get my priorities wrong. Now that is a lesson I need to remember. I do take 'me time' but its often a bath (although my ruminations in the bath are often very helpful. lets face it I am doing this as the result of bath time ruminations) But I feel I have to have 'me time' when Tony isn't up. What on earth is wrong with me telling Tony I am going upstairs to meditate and self heal while he is up and about? David mentions negative thoughts - and the importance of re-programming through meditation - something I feel I am bad at. Well I am bad at making time for it. I will start with Davids basic exercises again and see how I get on. I also need to remember Davids final comment about pisceans. Confusion is a sign you are on your way because confusion brings out answers So my strengths are my intuition and empathy but the downside is I can be confused, vague and easily led. That last one is VERY true. Interestingly my North node is ALSO Pisces. And again reading what David says it is hard to argue with it. I would benefit a lot from meditation and slowing my mind down. I need to stop finding fault in others. I want to be perfect and worry when I am not. In fact David's advice is to be the best I can be. This was my 2012 resolution - to be the best 'me' I can. So has my journey changed me since it started? Well I am happier, I am now married, I do work and use my abilities to help others (although not as much as I would like)I am also very unsure I help people in in the right way. I need. I need to recognise my weaknesses - and try to turn them into strengths.

What's going on? Two posts in one day? I have been thinking about things on and off.And if eel things are starting to fall into place I booked time to do CPD. I need to book time to do meditation, and self healing. I need to be patient with myself - just as David says. I have come a long way. And one of the messages for a pisces is don't expect perfection. I do and I make things way to hard on myself And suddenly things are starting work out for us. We have made a connection up at a new tea shop and she is happy for us to put leaflets in there and to offer readings up there to her clients. Two new businesses helping each other out Tony has been commissioned to write for a new role playing system. Nothing to so with psychic work but his progress affects mine and vice versa. I have details about a one day course about Crystal healing in April in Gloucester and it doesn't cost a huge amount. And its on a Thursday. This s celarly how I meant to serve by improving my skills at the moment.

Wow. I should be at work today. I have not gone in because I couldn't face it. I was at the hospital for the past 2 days and it wore me out. My official reason was that I had a slip on the ice and snow yesterday evening (true but it was only a very one) and that it had upset my back (not true) I need to think about why I decided to compromise my reiki principles to get out of work. Partly it is because Tony is worried about walking up to the shop to see his client today because it is still so icy and if I am home I can drive him up. I need to think abut why I feel I need to support Tony in this way. Anyway I decided to have a nice long hot bath (something I haven't done for a bit - and I grabbed David Well Guide to developing your psychic skills to read in the bath. As I read it I realised that I have never actually DONE the exercises he suggests. I know they will work I teach other people to do them but I haven't actually done them myself. Now what does THAT tell me about myself? Is it a coincidence these thoughts came to be in the bath? Probably not. My sign is Pisces after all. I feel I have the inkling of an idea about how to change things for myself but I have LOT of thinking to do.