An extraordinary day

I have been feeling distinctly 'blah' lately - definitely lacking direction and progress in so many areas. This morning on the news there was an item about how exercise in green spaces especially near water is very good for you - restoring self esteem. I took that as a sign that I was being nudged to get my track suit on and head for park and my normal route round the lake. So I did. When I reached the park I immediately started jogging at a slow pace - and managed to jog continuously to and then all the way round the lake.

I realised that I had coped with more jogging because I was going slower than I normally do. I immediately thought - this means the work thing can't be rushed. Don't be impatient. Take it slowly and it will happen. The other thought I got was that I expected to be able to run faster than I could - and realised I have been expecting too much of myself in other areas.

While meditating as I jogged I also realised I have been feeling so down because I get no positive feedback from anyone - including myself. When I am at work even it was dire, I always got some positive feedback to tell me I was doing OK, that I was good at what I was doing. At the moment I have got nothing. I think that's why I have been so keen to help the Lib Dems. Charlotte is always so grateful. I feel needed. I knew my work colleagues needed me, I knew my patients needed me. I feel my reiki clients will need me. Without a job I feel like a waste of space and totally unnecessary.

Having had these useful insights I then went to stuff some envelopes at Osmond House. This takes a small part of my mind to do leaving a large part free to think. And I found myself wondering excatly what next weekend will bring. I am convinced we are going to learn something useful from Carolyn. Of course that could just be wishful thinking.

The most extraordinary happened this afternoon. Last night Tony got a reading from Psychic TV. is question was 'how many guides and what do they want me to know. Her answer was basically one word - healing. She specifically mentioned healing with words and healing with hands. So Tony texted through another question explaining that I did healing and that he saw his path in medium-ship. He got an answer back that was very encouraging and basically saying it would be very good for him.

She was SO positive about the emphasis on healing. Thats HAS to be 'positive feedback' from the other side that I am on the right path - and doing OK.

But I need to make sure I give myself positive feedback on a regular basis.

And the wierdness continues

I got my reading from Psychic TV. I think the medium also got the Ace of Pentacles because she mentioned new beginnings. She was absolutely spot on because she said she felt I was stagnating, but that there is a new beginning for me and I should get news within 3 working days. She also said the number 3 is important. 3 is an important number numerologically for me.

I sent a thank you message - which sadly I missed seeing but Tony caught and she gave a small further reading for me about wearing purple and pink and I think silver.

But the real wow happened when Tony did HIS tarot pick - and got the Ace of Pentacles.

How weird is that?

It isn't the first time we have pulled the same card - but for the same card to appear 4 times in different ways is spooky in the extreme

A bit of a wow moment - right when I needed one

Things are not going to plan at the moment and I am anxious about things. This morning I decided to tune into channel 886 and I decided to ask for a work reading - which I did on the comment line. As I watched a text message came on screen from a supply teacher (a locum teacher in effect)asking for a work reading . The first card Anne pulled was the Ace of Pentacles which she said represented stability and new beginnings - an interpretation I agree with.

I decided to do my daily tarot pick while I was waiting to see if my message gets played. I changed my way of doing the pick. I decided to just shuffle and pick without splitting the deck because it is quicker.

Can you imagine my feelings when I saw the card I picked was the Ace of Pentacles?

Today I am going to talk to a private hospital about going on their bank , and I also know UHB are going to decide about their locum today. So quite a lot going on.

I had a weird dream just before I woke up. I found myself among both humans and the elven race from Julian Mays world. I had the chance to join them and unlock my psycyhic potential - but I was reluctant to do so. Tony didn't know I was there and when I tried to contact him I couldn't get my mobile to work. When I did get through I heard Tyler's voice saying 'everyone is crying' then the alarm went off.

I meditated. I grounded visualising the park, then climbed my cloud stairway. I found myself on a cloud rising higher and higher above the park and looking north - which is the direction I will be driving this morning - and I realised today's drive is also the first part of the drive I will make to Burton. I also found myself thinking about Brian and Martyn. I got the impression I needed to go up high to get a proper perspective on everything. Then I suddenly realised Ariel was with me - and will be with me today. I feel it also significant I am carrying my Tigers Eye crystal today. The pendant was very clear it was the only crystal I needed.

Todays meditation

I tried to meditate on my card picks for today which were Queen of Swords, Change, Cut the cords and Leadership. The cards puzzle me especially leadership since I don't think I am developing a leadership role.

I found myself in my safe glade with Clare and Penny. Clare pointed to the path out of the glade and I went along it and found myself in another glade covered with flowers. I picked 3 of them a star shaped yellow flower - that I don't think exists in nature, a red poppy or tulip and a purple Iris. I followed the path and found myself climbing a slope. At the top of the slope I looked to my left and saw thew top of the waterfall I climbed to by a much harder route yesterday.

I also saw I was at a crossroads and I planted the 3 flowers round the junction. The yellow flower to my left, the red flower straight ahead and the purple flower to my right.

I then walked back through te flowery glade to my safe glade, hugged Clare and walked out.

I need to see if the flowers or colours have any significance - but I can't immediately connect this to any of the cards I picked.

I do feel the crucial card is the leadership card. Normally if I pick a card that doesn't seem to have any significance I just ignore it. I can't do that this time and I don't know why

Meditation part 2

I have made a much more disciplined spiritual start to the day today. I asked about crystals I might need, I have said the reiki principles and the Lords Prayer. I prayed for all those people who I know need help and I also used the prayer as a sort of God Box and mentioned specifically all the things I am stressed about and basically said 'here you are you look after these now'

I then meditated and went back to the same place as yesterday. This time I found a path to the top of the waterfall and could see three paths leading to my different meditation buildings (castle, temple and Moroccan building) The message I got was that it will be ard work (the climb up to the top ) but it will get me where I want to go.

I found I kept thinking about my reiki flyers so I think I need to print some more - and get some more paper so I can print lots of them - and pepper them around Northfield.

I am not going to get clients unless they know I exist!

Cards for today

I did my tarot card before I meditated and ended up with 2 cards. The Heirophant and the Ace of Cups . At the moment these dont seem relevant.

My Angel therapy card was God Box. This basically advising a method I have seen recommended before that you write your worries down then put the paper in a container and let them go. Given the way I feel at the moment that is probably a very good idea.

Ask your Guides gave me balance - which is all to do with balancing give and take in my personal relationships. I am not aware of this being a problem. Must ask Tony.

My unicorn card was Imagine. Think of what you really want and imagine it has come true. In other words going back to basics with Paul McKenna and CYLI7D

There is a kind of unifying feel about these cards.I can relate all of them to things I learned with Paul McKenna.

At the start of my meditation I set my intention to get some positivity back into how I feel. Maybe the combined message of the cards and the meditation is that I need to get back to basics.

I am still not sure I have received and understood any message.